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RB (TL)     20 December 2010

RCR/ DIVORCE

My husband has filed a RCR against me around 4 months back but he himself has left me taking all my valuables and has ended all his contacts with me, I am not aware where is he putting up now. There have been 4 hearings for the RCR case so far and i have attanded all four since i still want to give this marriage a chance.My husband appeared just for one hearing and bluntly told the honable' Judge that he wants to end this marriage and he has filed for RCR only to safegaurd him and his parents agaisnt any anticipated criminal complaint i can file against them. My husband and inlaws are very well aware of the torture they have inflicted on me and thats the reason to save themselves they filed for RCR but since i still want to save this marriage, i never thought of filing any criminal complaint against them.Now the problem is my husband and his parents are telling this to everyone that they want to end this marriage at any cost and better if i get ready for mutual divorce. I just wanted to know that i dont want to give divorce to my husband but can he still file for a divorce case when a RCR case is already in process. Moreover if i dont sign on divorce papers and do not give my consent for it, Can he still get it through court without my consent? Pls help at the earliest..



 20 Replies


(Guest)

The law, which is at present in vogue cannot allow your husband and his family to get divorce from you as they do not have sufficient grounds.  They are using pressure tactics against you. You do not yield to them.  He wants divorce.  Even then he filed RCR.  That is his cunningness.  Once he gets a RCR decree, after one year, he will again go to the court and say that RCR decree is not executed by unwillingness of the wife and hence, he is entitled to divorce.  That is the way he wants to play the game of life without bothering how much harm he has done to his legally wedded wife.  At present, divorce can be granted on the ground of cruelty, desertion, adultery etc.  Those grounds are not available to him as you are innocent and hence, he filed RCR.

On the next date of RCR you go to the court and submit to the judge that you are willing to go to your husband's house and ask him to record your statement and close the case, once for all.  Further, next step is you file a case under "protection of women from domestic violence Act, 2005", seeking "shared household", where your husband is presently residing.  This is the appropriate medicine to such people.  You engage an advocate and file this  case.  This case will lie before the Metropolitan Magistrate.

Some of the people on this forum ridicule a woman if she asks a question and always blame her for any family dispute, even though the reason may be husband and/or his parents. I do not know why they think that why woman is always wrong and man is always right. You just ignore their comments and find an appropriate lawyer, who is considerate to women and their issues and file case throw him.

Wish you best of luck. 

2 Like

RB (TL)     20 December 2010

Thanks Prabhakaran for your advise. Even i was surprised listeing that how bluntly and fearlessly my husband is stating this infront of the judge that he wants to end this marriage at any cost and has filed RCR only to safegaurd his family. But since this is a family case, The Judge must have thought to give him a second chance and see if my husband gets ready to continue with this marriage. And thats why I have decided that in the coming hearing, If my husband will deny to take me along, I will request the honable' Megistrate to dismiss this case and write this on his notings that it was filed by my husand with wrong intentions. I am still silent and not taking any action against him since i still want to give this marriage another chnace but in case my husband will deny it in the coming hearing and when the Judge will get the case dismissed, It will make grounds for me to get justice for myself and fight for my rights.

He and his family are not ready to compromise on anything , not ready to even talk to me or any of my family members and are just stating to everyone that they want to end this marriage. I am not sure of the reason but I know they are greedy people and they must have found another prey who would be ready to give dowry to meet their demands.Since there is no ground for my husband to get contested divorce from me and he knows i will never get ready fora  mutual one, My only concern is:

1. If still there is another way he can file for divorce? If yes, on what grounds?

2. How long can i defer the divorce by not giving my consent (signing on the divorce papers)?

3. He filed RCR in August, 2010 so legally we are not living together since August 2010, so will this period be counted for a ground of divorce if we still dont get to live together untill August 2011 (completing 1 year of not living together)?

4. My husband's family is pressurizing me stating that they would make my give divorce by having my husband marry another woman in between. If he does so will he be liable for any prosecution?

Please advise..

1 Like

cyberlawyer (barrister)     20 December 2010

First an order should be made in the RCR application. The 1 year limitation period of non-compliance of the order will run from the date of judgement so this period which you have stated will not be taken into account..

I dont know how your husband was so frank in saying that he wants to divorce you during the pendancy of the RCR application. This is the first time i am hearing this... Very weird....

cyberlawyer (barrister)     20 December 2010

If he is a Muslim, then i dont think that marrying another girl during pendancy of matrimonial dispute will attract any criminal prosecution... If this is the case, then your contention that he is threatening you will not have any effect...

Members correct me if i am wrong...

RB (TL)     20 December 2010

No Javid Sir, we are not muslim but belong to Punjabi culture and yes, you are correct it sounds wierd but this is a true example of how people misuse the laws. We blame girls for misusing acts like 498A but this is a classic example that shows that we still have a biased society and even law has not remained untouched. Thats the reason that even the honable' Megistrate could not pin-point my husband when he said openly that he wants to end this marriage despite of RCR stil in proceedings.

My husaband has actually misused the RCR and is still living fearlessly because he knows how much i love him and so will never take any action against him. On one hand he has filed the petition to save this marriage , on other hand has ended all the contacts with his wife and communicating this that he wants to end this marriage at any cost. He and his family are not only making fun of  me and a sacred relation like marriage but of law as well.

Being an educated woman, i am also aware of my rights and what steps can i take to get the justice but still keeping silent in order to make this marriage work and give time to my husband and inlaws so that they realise it at their own whatever wrong are they doing.

However my questions are still pending, request the members of this forum to advise me at the earliest::

1. If still there is another way he can file for divorce? If yes, on what grounds?

2. How long can i defer the divorce by not giving my consent (signing on the divorce papers)?

3. He filed RCR in August, 2010 so legally we are not living together since August 2010, so will this period be counted for a ground of divorce if we still dont get to live together untill August 2011 (completing 1 year of not living together)?

4. My husband's family is pressurizing me stating that they would make my give divorce by having my husband marry another woman in between. If he does so will he be liable for any prosecution?


(Guest)

1. If still there is another way he can file for divorce? If yes, on what grounds?

He can file divorce case on any ground mentioned in the Act.  But, he will not succeed as the grounds are not genuine.

2. How long can i defer the divorce by not giving my consent (signing on the divorce papers)?

Presently, it is impossible for him to get the divorce on the grounds available at present.  Hence, your deferement is not material.

3. He filed RCR in August, 2010 so legally we are not living together since August 2010, so will this period be counted for a ground of divorce if we still dont get to live together untill August 2011 (completing 1 year of not living together)?

By filing RCR, he lost the right to allege any cruel act against you earlier to August, 2010.  In other words, the person, who is filing RCR is condoning cruel acts of the spouse and he is barred to raise the ground of cruelty.  Do not count  period.  He is the person, who deserted you.  He cannot be allowed to take advantage of his own illegal act.

4. My husband's family is pressurizing me stating that they would make my give divorce by having my husband marry another woman in between. If he does so will he be liable for any prosecution?

Yes.  He will be liable for prosecution for bigamy.  But do not wait for prosecution.  If you come to know that he is going to marry, immediately move the civil coourt for permanent injunction against the marriage or otherwise move the magistrate court under DV Act for shared household, which would put a big full stop in his attempts of going for another marriage.
 

1 Like

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     21 December 2010

Women wrong , men right; women emotional fools, men rational, intellectual and logical: these are the stereotypes on which patriarchy thrives!

2 Like

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     21 December 2010

@ Mr.Prabhakar, great inputs. Thanks!! just one question (though might not be related to this case). If the husband cites few acts of cruelty after RCR was filed, can he withdraw it?

RB (TL)     21 December 2010

Thanks Prabhakar Sir for your valuable inputs one more time, it really helped me think and decide which direction can i move if  he gets ready to join me/ if he doesnt gets ready to join me. Your advise helped me clear my doubts. Atleast this is for sure that he can not get divorce from me unless i give my mutual consent which i will never give and also what rights do i have to get justice being his legal wife.


(Guest)

@anonymous1,

After filing of RCR there is physical as well as geographical distance is there between the spouses and hence there is remote chances of showing the incidents of cruelty. 

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     21 December 2010

@ Prabhakar sir, If the wife and parents take back their articles and create a huge scene in front of the public after RCR was filed, the we the huband can withdraw the RCR correct?

RB (TL)     21 December 2010

Mr. Anonymous and Mr.498A victim,  this discussion was initiated by me as i am suffering due to the misuse of RCR by my husband and his family. Your questions do not pertain to my case. Please start with another discussion on the respective topics you want to get the inputs. I have joined this forum since as of now there is no other way for me to get information around RCR and the grounds of divorce (if my husband wants to take). Please spare this discussion since your queries are actually not serving my purpose and diverting the thoughts. Thanks

RB (TL)     22 December 2010

Dear 498A victim, I guess i need not to clarify this to you what were the reasons for the rift between my husband and me and why he left me. What i have gone through and facing currently is all my business and not yours. And whether im right or wrong, I have my conscience to tell me, you need not to clarify. Would apprecaite if we can end this discussion here and like i said earlier its better if you dont intervene on a issue when you know you cant provide any useful input.

Thanks..

syed (Branch incharge)     26 May 2011

well said Member account -deleted - advocate


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