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Manas (Sales)     15 May 2012

Precautions taken - before marrige!

Dear Forum,


I am going to get married next month and due to some lack of communication from my would be side, some negative feelings have raised in our family.

Issues that are still open with them are like:

1. We are clarifying them every purchase we made and call them about progress made but they never talk about what their plans for this marrige. After reminding for asking multiple times they never communicate us the progress at there end. (Though I am in touch with girl and daily we talk).

2. I have few differences with my fiancee on eating habits, clothes style, life style, tastes and communication but still she assured me that she'll make adjustments. But she also never call my family members as not allowed from her parents.


I would like to know the precautionary measures I may take now for avoiding any future trouble like case on Dowry etc.



 28 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     15 May 2012

Why you need update of their purchase?Dont bother these things.Keep vdo of each and every moment of the marriage specially every conversation with your in laws in the marriage.

You both are from different family, diff. background..so differences in choice/habit may be there...you both have to adjust with each other and respective families to make this marriage work.Dont expect only the girl will have to adjust..and you will have the old life.

Dont worry.All the best.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     15 May 2012

All we really need to know about psychology is this. The way we feel affects the way we think. What we think directs our behaviour. How we behave and the way others behave towards us affects the way we feel. This feeling – thinking – behaviour cycle was described by Galen almost 2000 years ago. It seems the smartest animal on Earth can sometimes be awfully slow to learn. ............Mark

 

You are going for marriage.  It is a happy occasion.  Go for it with a healthy and trustful mindset.  If you feel doubtful about them, they will respond similarly towards you.  That is what the above quote explains.


 

Amit (NA)     15 May 2012

If you have any apprehensions, then don't proceed with marriage. Try to postpone it until you are convinced.

It's too risky thing to marry as a Hindu today. So get all things clarified first.

But personally I wudn't bother much about marriage preparations but the girl's taste and attitude might be a matter of concern.

randomethic (Professional)     15 May 2012

Why does your family want "reports" of wedding preparations from her side? What is the purpose? As long as your families have mutually decided regarding all ceremonies, dates etc., what else do you need to know? Not everyone likes to share all details, no need to make an issue out of nothing. 

 

Why is it a problem if she is not calling your family members? You are not even married, yet!

 

Marriage is supposed to be about both people adjusting, hope that you are also planning to make some adjustments. It does not seem that way from this thread.

1 Like

Rajeshwari (software engineer)     15 May 2012

Dont get married to her and dont spoil ur life and her life .If  you are so doubtful and cant adjust stop thinking of marriage...Not always girl should listen to you , at some time you also need to compromise and adjust and consider her opinion .........Now a days its not possible , with this kind of mind set .....if you proceed for marriage its going to be hell ...Neither of families should stop complaining..you dont know about her family..you know about  your family ...If you really want her..win her  and get her .. Be careful if her parents are more demanding and dominating (its also too bad thing ....both sides parents need to soft , happy  and make the marriage as most happiest occasion in your life ......

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     15 May 2012

dont marry

Jean (assistant)     16 May 2012

dont marry this girl... Since you have negative feeling about them.. After all its your LIFE. Take a wise decision.

naren (Consulltant)     16 May 2012

If you are already having negative feeling, my request to you is not to get married. I also had some hints of girl and her family being dominating and other things but I ignored them. After marriage I face the consequences. I also had some expectations from my fiance regarding clothes, weight etc which she said she will improve but trust me, after marriage girls forget all these promises.

Marry only when you are fully convinced.

R K........ (Analyst)     16 May 2012

Dear i have passed through all these things and now fighting for a false dowry case

Don't marry her... otherwise life might become difficult for you

Manas (Sales)     16 May 2012

With so much No's and few Yes's....I get more confuse!!

 

Okay....Can you guys suggest me the precautions I may take for avoiding fake dowry case in future.

 

Ranee - I am ready to accept girl in any form but as this event is big for all of us so I don't want any slips that may happen from either sides. Just for making this big day "Mistakes free" I am expecting communications from there side nothing else.  No negative feelings, nothing.

 

@Chandrasekhar - Thanks! I am feeling easy now. But still doubt exists.

 

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     16 May 2012

:) Purchase a CC camera and keep it permanently inside the house.

Needs Advice (Data Entry Optr)     16 May 2012

Hello Manas in my opinion u must take to the girl telephonically time to time in this way u both will understand each other habits.

Talk to her mother and father or say my father or mother wanted to talk with u and ur family members.

If u have sister in ur house let her talk to the girl and take views of ur sister, as she may tell u better about the girl to whom u want to marry. If possible meet the girl and talk about the future life after married.

Do not get confused and think with cool mind.

If u want to intergoate about the girl and her family send somebody from your family to ask her neighbours and relatives about their family. Now a days per marriage investigations agencies are also doing all this.

All is NOT well (Harrased by Biased Laws)     16 May 2012

Hire a Private Detective and then decide :)

Prakash S Thakkar (B.S.L LL.B)     16 May 2012

its simple bro leave the girl or else u will come in trouble one day and then u will go to cure ur wounds and that time would be tooooooooo  late..... best of luck for ur 2nd thought........


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