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mithi (ps)     10 February 2015

Please help me

hi,

I got married in Nov,2011.Just after some time of my marriage my narcisstic husband starting torturing me physically & financially.caught him with affairs two times.many times I came to my parents place but went back in thought of that may be things will change. Now from last two months I've again come to my parents place and told my in laws for divorce but they are threatening me for not giving because they know advantages of government employee. professionally he is a pilot but working as ground staff in airport. I've valid recordings,proofs against them.what should I do to get away from this torture.suicide is the only option comes into my mind all the time. they are having fun with my car, things etc.my parents are very decent that's why they are manipulating things.  if he will not give me divorce then I can't take? as a men he has all the freedom but I've to cry because  I'm a woman. kindly help me.I'm educated but very helpless.should I file the complaint? please help me. 



Learning

 14 Replies


(Guest)

If you have proof of adultery you can file divorced based on such grounds, or else it be very difficult to prove in court that you both are incomptible specially when husaband is not willing to let you go.


And if you make allegations of adultery and not able to prove it, your husband can file case against you under perjury, so whatever it is, think and take step.


If all this does not feel condusive, then you can always go for MCD and get rid of headache husband in 6 months time.

praveen kumar (LEGAL MANAGER)     10 February 2015

I agree with Helping Hand!

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     10 February 2015

in your case they are only government employee and dont worry for this issue because harassment done by a government employee can be harassed if you want 

here you want divorce so MCD is better option but both parties should agree for the same and come to court for that and in case of adultery you should have valid proof, evidences that show his adultery then only go for it or mental torture 

mithi (ps)     10 February 2015

Thanks for ur reply helping hand &adv.mahesh. i'v police complaint and his domestic violence pictures, audio, recordings, msgs 2. evidences shud b video only? should i file dv complaint?

(Guest)
Originally posted by : mithi
Thanks for ur reply helping hand &adv.mahesh. i'v police complaint and his domestic violence pictures, audio, recordings, msgs 2. evidences shud b video only? should i file dv complaint?

Only if you have solid proof of DV, then file DV complaint or else if you dont have solid proof, it will backfire sooner or later, and you might end up in jail.  All the best.

Karthikeyan (Manager)     10 February 2015

Miti, My advice and warning is same as the above experts said. I understood your pain.However i have one question... let me ask u a question directly... Why did you collected these evidance.. what's your moto? . Really.. if u r a victim.. please fight, you will get relief soon. All the best. Otherwise please don't misuse the LAW.

Karthikeyan (Manager)     10 February 2015

Miti, My advice and warning is same as the above experts said. I understood your pain.However i have one question... let me ask u a question directly... Why did you collected these evidance.. what's your moto? . Really.. if u r a victim.. please fight, you will get relief soon. All the best. Otherwise please don't misuse the LAW.

Karthikeyan (Manager)     10 February 2015

Miti, My advice and warning is same as the above experts said. I understood your pain.However i have one question... let me ask u a question directly... Why did you collected these evidance.. what's your moto? . Really.. if u r a victim.. please fight, you will get relief soon. All the best. Otherwise please don't misuse the LAW.

mithi (ps)     10 February 2015

Mr.karthikeyan

 

I m fighting from last three years with it for the happiness of my family otherwise i could have left at early stage only.i'v collected these evidences later coz as above all said u need evidence.but dOn't have too much which can convince people.i could have filed case of DV when it actually happened.I belong 2 such family where going 2 police station is also a crime like others.I m in pain coz i don't want 2 indulge into police and court . Finding an easy way.i m very young and now have choosen d rit way dat live alone is better 2 b with cruel men who thinks wife is his property.He wants to leave me but his parents are not letting this go coz they know he is wrong but as parents they r becoming selfish. and i m even not asking them for money or alimony kind of also coz life is more precious than money. thanks for ur comments.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     11 February 2015

1.  If he agrees, file a divorce case under Mutual Consent divorce.

2.  If he does not agree, file a divorce case under cruelty provision.

3.  As you are a government employee and earning sufficiently, you can move to working women's hostel instead of going to your partents' home, which may put them in consternation, once you file divorce case.

4.  I also strongly suggest that you engage an advocate and file domestic violence case for recovery of your stri-dhan as well as your car and other benefits available under this Act.  Do not worry about back-firing of filing the case, which you cannot prove. Such thing does not happen. This is a beneficial legislation for the women, who meet domestic violence and economic abuse (usurping the wife's movable and immovable property) and in this Act provisions are there to recover them.

5.  Neither in domestic violence case nor in divorce case, you need to go to police station.  You can directly file the case in the court.

Finally, the courts will look into the evidence produced by the parties in different ways.  So, do not jump to the conclusion that the evidence available with you is insufficient.  A decent girl, responsible government employee, comes to the court saying that she is facing domestic violence and her husband is promiscuous with little moral scruples, the courts by seeing the girl's demeanour and presentation of the facts, the difficulties of proving the domestic violence by  way of documentary and oral evidence, come to the just conclusions.  As you have already decided that living separately from him is better than anything else, you have nothing to lose by  contesting this case except your freedom.

Warm regards. 

mithi (ps)     11 February 2015

Thanks a lot sir..i m very grateful 2 u dat u hav shown me the positive way of dis. god bless you.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     11 February 2015

First and foremost, get the word "suicide" out of your head. Presuming that you are indeed facing such level of mental depression, when such thoughts do come, think of your parents and your loved ones who will be hurt the most by your action. And yes, before you see any advocate, get some psychiatric treatment. if indeed you are feeling suicidal. I do not mean this sarcastically but seriously.


On the legal front, do not even think of filing a divorce case AND a Domestic Violence case also. Every remedy that you can get in a DV case, you can get in a divorce case or in a pure matrimonial civil case, unless you were in a live-in relationship and not married. You were married, so forget about DV. Filing multiple cases will only enrich advocates, increase your mental stress, cause more acrimony between you and your husband and the return on this investment is virtually zero for you but a LOT for the advocate. The notion that DV cases get disposed of quickly is a myth. The perception that you can get relief in a DV case that you cannot get in a normal Family Court proceeding is equally erroneous for a married woman.


If you have evidence, you can use it in the Family Court to get whatever it is that you are entitled to. Wordings aside, nothing in the DV Act entitles you to anything more than what you were entitled to prior to the enactment of the DV Act.


The facts of your case will play out during trial no matter which court you go to.  Every allegation of "Domestic Violence" can be stated verbatim to be interpreted as "cruelty" in a divorce petition. I am giving you practical advice... not a pro-husband or a pro-wife guidance. Conclusion: Stay away from filing a DV Case.

1 Like

SuperHero (Manager)     11 February 2015

I am sorry for whats going on. First get out of the Suicidal thought.

Before filing any DV or Divorce case check with respective elders(both sides) and friends. If they agree for MCD it is very best, both of them are free after 6 months.

Talk to few advocates and show them the evidences(don't give it to him) and ask there opinion. A third view eye.

Every word typed or given in the notice should be clear and you should be aware of it and the consequences what will happen should be well thought of.

Remember Courts takes time and are delay centers and No one know how many Years it takes if the case gets contested. 

Your precious time, energy and money will be used for going through courts and meeting advocates. How to defend and get the judgement in favor of you.

By that time few years would have been gone.

I wish you Good Luck!!! Many Wise people have advised above.

It is your Call to take it.

1 Like

saravanan s (legal advisor)     14 February 2015

For government emplouees only advantage is that there would be a preliminary enquiry before arrest.other than that they dont have any special immunity.
1 Like

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