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Srinivasa Mahesh (self employed)     06 March 2019

Need guidance on marital issue

Respected members, I had already posted this topic on 5th of February. Since I wanted to update few more topics, I'm reposting it. Sorry. 

Need Guidance

Hi, Mahesh from Bangalore. Marriage took place in November 14. Issue is that, I stay with our parents. she always wanted independent life, she stayed with me for 3 months after marriage. Once pregnancy was confirmed, she left to her parents house. Almost from 3 yrs she is in her parents house.

While staying with me, she attempted suicide twice, before 3 yrs.

Now after convincing her, we brought her home again in November, but again attempted suicide by consuming sleeping pills. She wanted independent life(staying separate with my parents). But I was opposing this, bcoz I was elder son in my family. And need to look after them, as they are nearing 70 years. Even my parents didn't agree for staying far from them. She was angry on them also.

She started quarrelling for small things, when she came back in November. She came to our house on Thursday, on Sunday morning, she started shouting to all, when I told to be silent, she went out of home n started to call neighbours saying, we are beating her. After sometime, she ran outside saying, she will go to police n complain. We made her sit in home. After few minutes, she went to room to sleep. Evening we found that, she had taken sleeping pills n admitted to nearby hospital. While in hospital, she was telling her family members that, myself and my family should be in police station at any cost. She wanted to see we being locked up in the station. After speaking to her family members we sent her back to parents house from the hospital itself.

She and her family members told us that, she is suffering from Depression n did all bcoz of this, she's also taking treatment for this. 

Now again her family members are pressuring to take her back to our house. But we are telling them that, we'll go legally and go according to what law says. As we are afraid that, when she comes again home, we'll be in danger, as she will find a way to put us in danger.

We had also asked for divoce, as nothing is going well between both of us. But everything is going in vain.

They are not ready to go court. They are telling us, that we'll sort this by talking. As many as, 6-8 times we have sat before for talking on this matter from the past 3yrs , involving elders from both the families. Everytime there will be a compromise on us, to take her back to home, But now, we are insisting to go legally, whereas they are insisting for talks.

Once again we took her back home after an assurance from her family members that, she'll be good. And also, we made her mother to stay with us for few days, so that she won't take any wrong steps. She stayed with us for a month, in this one month, she quarrelled for few petty issues. Bcoz of the presence of her mom, it didn't work out. She quarrelled with me n my family members, since we didn't want any issues in home, we kept quiet. Her mother also couldn't help in this, even she kept quiet. 

She again went back to her native last week for festival. After going from here. She has again started complaining against us, saying we are not taking care. Her mother also, silent now. Her family members are saying that, we are responsible for all this. We don't know what to do now. From 6 months, Her brother calls me and threatens saying, he'll go to police and teach me a lesson. I told him, to do whatever is right according to him and I'll face the consequences, as I didn't do any mistakes. 

In this 6 months, he has told me nearly 6 to 8 times that, he'll go to police. But finally, without going there, he has sent his sister again to our house. She's not obeying to anyone in our house, she's abusing our family members and shouts in a big tone. When told to be quite, she says that, she's like that itself. she can't change for ourselves. She's asking for household authority. So that, she'll lead the house. We told to be a good daughter in law to our house, so that everything will come in search of her, once she's good. But she's not listening, and tells she knows how to take it. 

kindly guide on this. 

Hi, till these days, she was telling that, I was already married to another girl and I was living with her. She has told this to her relatives and got sympathy from them. She used to raise this issue once or twice in a week and keep quiet. I didn't bother about that and kept on telling that, everything is her imagination. 

From these two weeks, she is telling continuously that, I'm married to another female and cheating her. She is spreading this to her relatives and to my neighbors also. She's telling, she has proof about the marriage.

Last Wednesday, she quarrelled about this. I challenged her saying, to bring that girl, whom I have married. And to show all the proofs, that I was married. I gave her one day time to prove this. But till now, she's silent about this. Whenever I ask about this, she tells, she's waiting for the right time to prove this. 

She argues for small matters in home, but when I ask her about my challenge to prove, she doesn't speak anything, she tells she'll prove at right time.

what to do. plz guide me.


 1 Replies

Divya Vijayan   16 April 2022

Under Indian Law there is no provision by which wife can demand for a seperate living and if the   wife demands or forces the husband then it amounts to cruelty under section Section 13(1) (ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 which was held in Narendra vs K. Meena (2016) 9 SCC 455, in this case the wife demanded from husband to leave his aged parents and to get a separate house from them so that wife can live independently with her husband.

If living with your wife proves to be difficult, it's better to go for a divorce under section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 on the ground of cruetly. Cruetly can be in the form of mental or emotional anguish. If she is not ready for a mutual divorce then you may have to contest her in the court of law

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