Move out of husband's home

the valuables (including that you bought, given to you at the time of marriage both from your parents as well as from your husbands side) is all your property as it is part of  sreedhan.so you dont need to give them back and you dont need to take anybodys permission to take it with you as you move out of the house.

since the girl is a female and also ten years old you can ask for the custody of the child mentioning that her father is an alcoholic and also while deciding the custody the child wish will also be taken into account

if you want to staop him from visisting the house where you live with your child you can obtain a stay order against him

Hoi,

 

Originally posted by : Simran Arora
	HI, Writing on my friend's behalf, in her language.... I am fed up of my alcoholic and abusive husband. Ok. I was trying hard for the sake of my daughter. But now, I would want to move out of his house and shift on my own (in a rented place). Good move.   I am not expecting any money from him. Wrong move.  Money is very important, file 125 crpc application in court via lawyer and get alimony for yourself and kid.   I am a working lady and can support myself and the daughter. Things would be difficult but not impossible. But keep optoin of 125 crpc in mind, times do change, you may need money in future.   I also dont mind returning back the ornaments they had given to me in marrigage. Should I offer to return the ornaments? What is the procedure for the same? Once you move out, with whatever you wearing, and take with you, its yours, unless until your drunk husband has VAT bills for the same so that he can claim thatin court of law.  But I suggest dont return anything.  Keep gold, prices are on the increase, and you will need money. and what you leave is his, unless you have VAT bills to claim them. What is the procedure to move out of the house. I Just move out.  No procedure as such. f I move out just like that would I be blamed of theft of ornaments? Might be, depends on how criminal minded the people back at home are. Can I take the stuff I bought from my salary along with me? YES. Can a alcoholic father have the custody of a 10 year old female child? YES. Can grandparents claim for the kid's custody? It depends on court decision and kids decisoin too, but parent inlaws can ask for visitation rights.   I do not want divorce. Why you dont want divorce, whats in a name?  Why do you want to be linked with a drunk, find someone else and re-marry.  There are scores of men who are decent who want normal life who are ready to give normal peaceful life to divorcees.  Try that shot, one day kid will move out, or you tend to keep kid without getting kid married or making future son in law a ghar jamai so that you will have dotter around? Its always good to have a partner. Can I stop him from coming to my place in druken state and harass me or my daughter? GIve police complaint for creating nuisance, but be ready to kiss marriage goodbye once you go to police station. I dont mind him meeting the kid when not under the influence of alcohol. Please advise what can go wrong and what are the right steps to get this executed.  You cant tolerate him anymore, you have decided to move out, but he still be ur husband and he still be dad to kid, so that thing wont change even if you remarry. Why not try changing him, quitting drinking is not that difficult, its very easy.  Only need will power.  Thats all. rest looks fine to me.  Take daru out of the equation, thats all, going court filing cases, or staying aloof will not solve your problem, he will still continue to bother you even if you move out, or even if you go to police station.   Best is to take MCD and get rid of headache husband, and find new one. thanks,

welcome.................

For the time being better put the ornaments in a bank locker.Once U move out of the house it will be difficult to come back again.Are U ready to face all the hurdles ahead by moving out with Ur minor daughter? U have every right to take all the articles belonging to U even thosegiven by UR parents at the time of marriage. Grandparents don't have right to thake UR daughter as U are a working lady and capable of taking care of her. If U prove the habbits of UR husband even the courts will be favourable to U.

I am fed up of my alcoholic and abusive husband. I was trying hard for the sake of my daughter. But now, I would want to move out of his house and shift on my own (in a rented place). : Excellent thinking, very matured.

I am not expecting any money from him. I am a working lady and can support myself and the daughter. Wrong Thinking, he must give money, not for you, for your daughter's upbrinings & yes, rents too

Things would be difficult but not impossible. I also dont mind returning back the ornaments they had given to me in marrigage. Should I offer to return the ornaments?

That's your wish,legally that belongs to you, until & otherwise the husband claims it with Bills in court.

What is the procedure for the same?

What is the procedure to move out of the house. Pack your bags, & go. Search a safer place with all necessatieis

If I move out just like that would I be blamed of theft of ornaments?

Yes, if he has the bill

Can I take the stuff I bought from my salary along with me?

Yes, thats your hard earned money.

Can a alcoholic father have the custody of a 10 year old female child? Can grandparents claim for the kid's custody?

With a good lawyer on ur side, no he cant have the custody.

Grandparents can visit

I do not want divorce.

WHY?, move on.

Can I stop him from coming to my place in druken state and harass me or my daughter?

I'm sure you can speak with Local Police about it.

I dont mind him meeting the kid when not under the influence of alcohol.

it doesnt matter what you want, pls get the same ordered from the court.

Please advise what can go wrong and what are the right steps to get this executed. 

• Dragging Case.
• Long trials if DV, Alimony is filed.

thanks,

ur welcome

For those giving Gyan.. is taking the husband's gold not being criminal minded..

All of the problems you raised have been addressed by the experts and still in one area you require advise: After you find out a peaceful place on rent to live with your child and move out with all your belongings including ornaments they had given to you (stridhan and as per law you have absolute right on them) and also stuff you purchased with your money, only one thing that may bother you.  In late evenings, after consuming hard drink he may visit you in your rented place and shout about his husband's right on you and parental right on the child and the whole neighbourhood rubber-neckers gather to have a free fun for sometime and sane pieces of advice to offer to you that how a woman should be dutiful and faithful to her husband, bla...bla.  Definitely you want to avoid such ugly situation.  For that you have to take a legal action.  You have to file a case under domestic violence Act and there you should seek the relief of restraining and protection orders - to restrain your husband to approach you and your child either at your workplace or in her school and also residence, not to communicate with you or stalk you etc.  Once you get those orders, you will be on safer side.  As you are taking the child with you, you need not ask the custody of the child.  If father wants custody of the child, he will file the case and you contest it.  He will definitely get visitation rights.  But  custody depends fully on the choice of your daughter - with whom she wants to live.

Better transfer your job to a different city.

Agree with Superhero Sir. Settles the problem, once for all..!

first of all come out of misconception. The gold presented to you by either side after your marriage is your absolute property and it is criminal offense for your husband to detain the same. None can accuse you of theft of something belonging to you.

Secondly the theft of other property-----------you have a right of maintenance against him for your child and if you taken necessary material there is no theft------- further if you move out when suffering domestic violence and after dialing 100 and calling police then there is no courage for him to file any case.

First think if you don't want divorce then help your husband in gaining will power for quitting alcohol. There are many centers which can help you in this. And if u want to move out then go legally which only ends with divorce

Thank you all.

He was jobless for an year and half and plunged more and more into drinking. I got him admitted in rehabs and they were also fed up of him. His psychiatrist (a senior doctor - of my fathers age ) is also fed up and adivses me to stop helping him further as he himself is not willing to help himself. I helped him get back on his feet and he was able to take up a job. He still drinks every night and does not come home for the whole night. He comes up in the morning and sleeps for the whole day. This is the case on every weekend.

I dont have parents and have a dependent brother who is my responsibility. His parents were good to me, but with things turning ugly, they have decided to take his side. I dont blame them and understand their agony. Obviously their son needs help and I am thinking of leaving him. I have sponspored their travel tickets to our place when we wanted him to get into rehab. I have had them covered under medical insurance from my office. I have also taken them on outings and bought them clothes just to pep them up when he was in rehab. I just have bills for travel and insurance reciepts.

I had dialled 100 when he had beaten me up. I had also request for couselling sessions. When the couselling was going on, he behaved very nicely. So I withdrew the case saying that things are fine. But as soon as the sessions ended, he again started harassing me. He told me that if he throws me out, he will have to pay me. But if I go out on myself, he need not pay me. I have recorded his talks. I offered to go out. My husband says that he will make a counter case on me of harassing his mother if I complain against him. He also says that he will claim the custody of the daughter as I have no support and I am working for the whole day. He says that he will also talk to people in my office and tell them that I am a bad character woman. I have recording of he telling me that he can make me meet with accident or fall off from balcony of the flat where I might opt to go and stay. He says anything can happen.... a thief can come and push me off the balcony. He then tells his daughter that your mother would get you different father one day and the child starts crying. He says all this when under the influence of alcohol. On one hand he says he wants me to leave and on the other hand he threatens me to harrass if I leave. He wants me to return all the ornaments, and also leave the stuff I bought and get out of his life without asking for a single rupee. He says that after I leave his place, if he feels that the child is not taken care of then he will take away the child also. He is also asking for the child's ornaments such as gold chain and gold payal. With whom does the child's ornaments stay? He thinks that I am responsible for his state. I have lost faith in humanity and have left with no strength. Filing a DV would ruin his career and put him back on day and night of drinking, but I cannot expose my child to such a situation. She gets scared to see her mother getting harassed.

@Simran Arora

 

Please dont do this cruelty with sweet daughter by aparting her from father. Please solve thye matter at home. He os an alcoholic , may be from some tension or other issues. Please get in to the issue ,solve his problems and be with him . Give your love as much as possible. Dnt go beyond your wanes and dnt Judge him too early ,Regrets are always heart breaking

@Vijay -- Let me tell you one thing....my father had spent lacs of rupees on the marriage. My father has lent us money to buy the flat. I am a unviersity topper and have taken breaks in career for the sake of family. Had I been working all these years, I would have been at a very different level on a much much higher salary. I myself have supported many expenses on household. My health is taking a toll due to these pressures and I am not sure how long can I sustain the office and home pressure simultaneously. I do give a damn to ornaments and dont wear a single one. However, I dont want my foolish decisions to take a toll on my child's future. All the things that we both earned belong to her. Its her right. If my alcoholic husband gets more into trouble and might sell off everything. Also, he might get married to someone else and the new person might get all the stuff. These are things which we bought for our kid. I had been working on and off. When not working in office, I was taking care of home and supporting the family so that he can work peacfully.  Now, coming to your comment, how disgusting is that some men use wives to get upliftment in society and when they attain a status and a position, with wife supporting at back end....throw her off and get a new one. Its an aweful feeling of being used. Dont make blunt statements if you have no help to offer. Man, every individual is different. Please dont take out your frustration on my thread. Start a different one if you are the harrased one.