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Gurjinder   29 June 2016

Mental harassment by in-laws and caw (to certain exten)

My marriage has been nothing else but a mental  harassment not just to me but to my family as well. Since the time of marriage she has fought with my family over minor issues but creating a big issue around 5 times that the entire Society we live in gathered at our residence. The very first time she fought our family, she locked herself in the bedroom even after multiple attempts my mom and me attempting to make her open the room she didnt and my mom even attempted talking to her parents to which they said NOW THAT SHE IS MARRIED TO YOUR SON YOU TAKE CARE OF HER. She came only after packing all her luggage including her Stridhan (which has been pretty little since I am against dowry system) and left the house in front of the whole society (she has done nearly the same everytime). We however stopped her and she was taken by society members to the residence of a person where she was employed in the Admin/Marketing dept. She was accopanied by someone she claimed to be her so called Brother and sister-in-law, (whom I have never met). To sort the problem I at the very moment decided to stay away from my family. However my misery didnt end there as well. she used to fight me there as well in the middle of night I used to literally beg in front of her parents they used to give the same answer that I have mentioned above. (I have video evidence of her doing this act both the times). I attempted to lead a happy life and fulfill all her dreams as much as I could afford. She used to consume alcohol which I didnt mind to much as she used to say that her father used to give it to her as a tonic (moreover I dont consider things to be wrong till its done in correct manner). 3 months after that she insisted on getting back to stay with my family. has fought me multiple times. I even happen to have a pic where in she tore off my T-shirt and then later she happend to visit a police station. (All I ever wanted was a happy life but this is what I got instead). 2 years back she stated that her company is sending her for training to Delhi. I with my mom dropped her off at the station. I told her that since she is going back after a long time and would be on training she call me on need to talk basis to which she agreed after 4 days when I called I called her and she blames me that I didnt bother asking for her that she was in hospital (to which i was never ever informed by anyone in her family and she happily stating that her cell phone was with her elder sister). a year back she came with her elder sister and father and took her remaining luggage in front of the entire society. Back in November last year they came that they would like to talk to us. Met us in a Gurudwara and instead of coming back her family started abusing us and stating they need a Divorce as well and a 18laks in compensation. To which my dad on a good note stated consider her to be his daughter would give 2 laks and her elder sister stated HUMKO KYA BHEEK DE RAHE HO KYA BHIKHARI SAMJHA HAI KYA. HUM 18 LAK BHI LENGE AUR DIVORCE BHI. After that started the case of me getting letters from Delhi CAW. I happen to be suffering from TB for the past 1 1/2 years and also suffer from Epilepsy and got even more stressed and due to her behaviour within a spam of one year got adimitted to hospital 4-5 times. My Dad took my health and life in serious jeopardy and passed away with the very first ever Heart Attack he got. I ever since then have been unemployed as am the only one taking care of my mom as of now and relocating to Nasik so that we can stay with my moms side of the family. My family and a family friend who also happens to be a lawyer have met them on 3 ocassion and they still keep saying the same thing. I dont have any money to give as I dont have any income plus I am agonised with the mental harassment that I have faced so far. I have not visited the CAW Delhi fearing my Safety (My in-laws happen to be very shrewd and I dont know what to do next). I have also received call from the ASI who happens to be dealing my case and he is forcing and stating that I should settle for some more amount that I have said earlier or get ready for Arrest warrant to be send across to me. I am not scared but I dont want to give the money just for no wrong doings of mine. The FIR they have registered with the CAW. I can prove almost 80% of the details to be incorrect reset 20% also happen to be false which are like normal conversations that we had hence cant provide solid evidence for the same. I wish to give them a Solid Response as to the incorrect steps they have taken to harass not just me but my family as well. Please Help at the earliest.


 4 Replies

vivek malhotra (Advocate)     29 June 2016

Sir, it is matrimonial dispute and cannot be rightly been advised on this short conversation. It is better you may meet personally with all the case details and the complaint filed in CAW cell. 

For any assistance you may contact.


Vivek Malhotra

Advocate. Delhi



A walk alone (-)     29 June 2016

sad to hear your story. Dnt worry brother this is only a hard phase of life. First hire a experience lawyer or family lawyer. Apply for bail first. Mostly police only want to take money from both side and try for one time settlement. Dnt go for settlement apply bail. Case will be in court. You already have evidence of her cruelty. Fight your case on your merits . Be patience. Indian courts only give dates. After sometime she will also realize this. She will herself come to you for divorce after sometime on your terms and conditions. Just collect evidence of her in audio or video of demanding money or record her call. You can also record if police force you for settlement or not cooperate you( once you win 498 a you can also take action against police via these evidence) Take a paper pen write all incident from your marriage to till she leave you. These sequence of incident will help you in fighting your case.
1 Like

jaig   30 June 2016

I am so surprised and also terribly sorry hearing your story, specially what happened to your dad.

You need a lawyer, but more than that someone to guide you and convince you that you can fight the case. Your story sounds exactly like what used to happend 3-4 years back before the Supreme court guideline, when 498A was a real terror. Nowadays its a mockery unless there is unnatural death of wife, and in most cases brave husbands make a mockery of the litigation. I think more than a lawyer, you need to talk to some men's group, some husbands who has fought this bravely.


I have two questions:
[1] Do you plan to remarry soon ?
[2] Does your wife plan to remarry ? - you may not know directly, but what is your guess? Is she well-off and in right age to be re-marrige worthy ? Any child ? Is she hurrying for the settlement ?  .... taking these into account make your guess.
[3] If you plan to remarry, and she also wants to remarry, can you at least wait for 5-6 years to finish the cases so that you get your much deserved win, and your wife also becomes a loser, and 5-6 years older and completely unworthy of re-marriage ? (Dont judge me pls, you need to be a badass not a coward)


Based on this you decide the settlement price, and who pays whom (if you are too daring, you can also ask for money), it's simple math, absolutely no question of fear - you said you have evidences to prove her allegations are lie. Very good, preserve those and don't expose to CAW officers. In case you plan to re-marry it's better to fight it off soon - go for speedy trial.


I am fighting DV and possibly 498A (in CAW stage now). My wife also asked for MCD as well as huge settlement. In reply I said I am happy to go to jail. Now her lawyer is running after my lawyer, because she does not know what to write in rejoinder (DV case) after I disproved her allegations in my reply. And my lawyer is constantly ignoring her lawyer, refusing any talk for negotiation/bargain.


I also faced CAW cell, I boldly walked there, and very sweetly and politely intimidated the officer that not all husbands in the world bend down for compromise. I won't give a penny, on the contrary I'm gonna snatch the next 10 years of her life by holding her down in the same mess in which she is trying to drag me. 498A is non-compoundable, she will not be able to withdraw the case and get rid of her own mess if I fight it for 8-10 years. I didn't said these exact words but the officer understood what I meant. I have no plan to remarry, and I'm sure her parents wants her to be re-married soon, as she is in early 30s, earning well, and already more impatient for settlement than fighting the DV case.


Seriously, you lost job income, lost dad. I think you have very little to loose. I can suggest ony one thing: Fight. Once you start your fight and stop fearing, you will see how the situation changes radically. And once the 498A goes to trial, she won't be able to do much, the  you will be running the show. Just go for it.

1 Like

Siddharth Dev (Advocate)     01 July 2016

agreed with A walk alone

Thank you;


1 Like

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