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Indian married women suffer from very high stress levels

Page no : 2

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     11 August 2011

 

Do you and your in-laws live in the same town? Are your houses not far away from each other?  You wanted a housewife. That is OK. After marriage and after some months she had a change of mind. I think you are a Hindu. For a Hindu marriage is a sacrament and not a contract. No one signs an agreement before marriage. What is the exact reason that you do not want a working wife? Is it just your mindset or there are valid reasons? If you allow her to work, is she willing to come and stay with you? Who is looking after your son in the hostel, when she is away for work? What do your in-laws say? Did she tell you before going away that she would not return because she wanted to work? How was your mutual relationship before she left? Did you make a visit to see your son?

 You narrated your story just to counter what Madam Roshni said. I am looking at it from the point of view whether things can be solved.

 If she does not come and stay with you, she will not be able hold on forever without agreeing for a divorce. But she can unleash 498A against you. You need to be cautious about that.

 My own suggestion is that if she wants to work,  allow her to work unless there are other problems or reasons.

Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     13 August 2011

DR MPS RAMANI : 

 MY HOUSE AND MY INLAWS HOUSE ARE 400 KMS AWAY AND IN DIFFERENT STATE. I STAY IN A METROPOLITAN  CITY WHERE THERE ARE LOTSSS OF OPPURTUNITY AND FAST LIFE. MY INLAWS HOUSE IN DIFFERENT STATE AND IN A SMALL TOWN. THE MATTER OF FACT IS THAT I WAS WORKING IN ABROAD BEFORE MY MARRIAGE. MY JOB SITUATION WAS SUCH THAT I CANT TKAE MY FAMILY THERE. THATS WHY IT WAS DECIDED BETWEEN ME & MY WIFE BEFORE MARRAIGE AND EVEN BETWEEN HER AND MINE PARENTS THAT I WILL LEAVE MY ABROAD JOB AFTER MARRIAGE AND SHE WILL RESIGN FROM HER JOB AS HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE IS 400 KMS AWAY FROM HER PARENTS HOUSE. I KEPT MY PROMISE. SHE LEFT THE JOB( PRESUMED TO BE AS I DIDNT CHECK WITH HER WHETHER SHE RESIGNED OR TOOK LEAVE. I JUST BELEIVED HER THAT SHE RESIGNED. MAY BE SHE HAVE RESIGNED THAT TIME). I`M WORKING IN A PVT SECTOR SERVICE INDUSTRY WHERE THE JOB STRAINS IS TOO MUCH AND LONG WORKING HOURS. SO THINKING FOR THE FUTURE I VERY WELL BRIEFED HER THAT I`M LOOKING FOR A SIMPLE GIRL , EDUCATED WILL LOOK AFTER THE HOUSE. I DONT WANT HER TO DO JOB BECAUSE UNDER GOD GRACE I`M FINANICALLY STABLE....  BUT IF SHE IS INTERESTED IN DOING JOB SHE CAN DO BUT FOR THAT SHE HAVE TO ADJUST HER DAILY SCHEDULE ACCORDINGLY. THE HOUSE SHOULD NOT BE AFFECTED AS I CAN GIVE VERY LESS TIME TO MY HOUSE/FAMILY DUE TO JOB CONSTRIANTS. I HAVE VERY WELL BRIEFED HER REPEATEDLY BEFORE MARRIAGE. THEN WHY SHE DIDNT KEPT HER PROMISE SHE DID TO ME BEFORE MARRAIGE. IN OTHER WORDS SHE AND HER PARENTS HAVE CHEATED US. ONE MORE THING WHICH I`M REALISING IS THAT SHE WAS NOT ADJUSTABLE TO THE LIFE OF METROPOLITAN CITY. SHE CANT COPE WITH THE FAST LIFE. SHE WAS NOT CONFIDENT OF GETTING A JOB IN THE METRO CITY. AFTER ALL SHE HAVE TO DO WELL IN THE INTERVIEW FOR THE JOB OF SCHOOL TEACHER. I CANT APPEAR THE INTERVIEW ON BEHALF OF HER. MY RELATION WITH HER WAS GOOD AND EVEN WITH MY PARENTS TOOO. HOWEVER SMALL SMALL THINGS IN DAILY HOUSEHOLD LIFE DOES TAKE PLACE BUT IF ANYONE MIND ON THOSE THINGS THEN HE/SHE SHOULDNT GET MARRIED. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE  AS SHE WAS NEWLY WED BAHU IN OUR HOUSE, MY MOTHER USED TO TELL HER TO BE LITTLE WELL DRESSED SPEACIALLY IN THE EVENING WHEN THER IS HARDLY ANY WORK IS THER. IN THE EVENING SOME OF OUR RELATIVES/FRIENDS DO VISIT TO OUR HOUSE. MY MOM USED TO TELL HER THAT IF U DONT DRESSED UP PROPERLY WHAT OUR RELATIVES WILL THINK ABT U AND ABT US. SHE MIND ON THAT AND LATER TOLD ME THAT MY MOM IS PULLING HER LEGS UNNECESSARILY. MY PAENTS ARE VERY OLD. SHE USED TO MADE CHAPATIS WHICH ARE VERY CRISP AND HARD. NOW MY MOM HAVE SHOWED HER REPEATEDLY HOW TO MADE SOFT CHAPATIS. AS MY PARENTS WERE VERY OLD THEY HAVE LOST MOST OF THEIR TEETHS AND HENCE FIND VERY DIFFICULT TO CHEW HARD AND CRISP CHAPATIS. NOW ITS MAY HAPEEN 1 DAY, 2 DAY, 3 DAY,...... 1 MONTH, 2MONTH...... TO LEARN. SO EVEN AFTER 6 MONTHS SHE USED TO MADE THAT SAME TYPE OF CHAPATI WHICH ARE VERY HARD AND CRISP. SHE DIDNT SHOWED ANYINTEREST TO LEARN TO DO HOUSEHOLD WORK.  THEN ONE DAY MY FATHER TOLD HER THAT R U DELIBERATELY MAKING HARD AND CRISP CHAPATI SO THAT WE CANT EAT OR U DONT WANT TO MAKE CHAPATI. WELL IN THAT CASE UR MOTHER-IN-LAW WILL MAKE SOFT CHAPATI WHERE ATLEAST WE CAN EAT. SHE MIND ON THIS COMMENT OF MY FATHER (FATHER NO MORE NOW). SHE COMPLAINED TO ME. SO INSTEAD OF HAVING FEELING FOR HER OLD INLAWS THAT THEY WERE UNABLE TO EAT AND RECTIFY IT SHE IS MINDING ON IT AND COMPALINING TO ME. WHY???? SMALL SMALL MATTERS OF HOUSEHOLD WORKS. BUT IN GENERAL AND IN FORUM PUBLIC TELLS ME THAT I GOT MARRIED TO BRING A COOK/MAID SERVANT. IF THAT IS THE CASE  THEN DID SHE GOT  MARRIED  WITH ME TO GET A SERVANT?

SHE WENT TO HER PARENTS HOUSE WITH HER PARENTS WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANTON THE PRETEXT THAT THE DELIVERY WILL TAKE PLACE THERE AT HER PARENTS HOUSE.. ONLY UPON REACHING THERE SHE AND HER PARENTS APPLIED FOR THAT SAME JOB WHERE SHE WAS WORKING BEFORE MARRIAGE. SHE NEITHER DISCUSSED WITH ME NOR INFORMED ME. ONLY AFTER JOINING SHE INFORMED ME. LADIES USED TO GO ON LEAVE IN PREGNANT CONDITION BUT SHE JOINED IN PREGNANT CONDITION. EVEN WHY DID HER PARENTS HELPED IS A BIG SURPRISE TO ME. IN THE FORUM PUBLIC TELLS ME THAT I AND MY PARENTS MUST HAVE ILL TREATED HER WHICH FORCED HER TO TAKE SUCH A DRASTIC STEP. BUT THE FACT IS THAT SHE WANTS TO DO JOB AND AT HER PARENTS HOUSE. FOR THAT PURPOSE SHE IS NOT READY TO RETURN. AND AS AN EXCUSE SHE WILL PUT FALSE ALLEGATIONS ON ME AND MY PARENTS. THOUGH MY FATHER IS NO MORE NOW.

SHE IS NOT REAY TO RETURN. SHE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ME DIVORCE ALSO. BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WILL NOT LEAD A MARRIED LIFE WITH ME NOR SHE WILL GIVE ME DIVORCE SO THAT I CANT REMARRY AGAIN AND LEAD A MARRIED LIFE. JUST IMAGINE WHATS SORT OF MENATLITY SHE GOT. SHE IS GIVING ME VAGUE TERMS AND CONDITIONS THAT SHE WILL RETURN TO MY HOUSE BUT FOR THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE MY 75 YRS OLD WIDOW SICK MOTHER. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. THER IS NO ONE TO LOOK AFTER HER. SHE KNOWS VERY WELL THAT I WILL NOT LEAVE MY MOTHER THATS THE REASON SHE IS GIVING ME SUCH VAGUE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. 

I DONT KNOW HOW SHE IS MANAGING HER WORK AND TAKING CARE OF THE BABY AT THE SCHOOL. I WENT TO MEET HER DURING DELIVERY. THEN I WENT AGAIN 1,5 MOTNTS BACK. ITS VERY DIUFFICULT FOR ME TO GO THERE VERY FREQUENT DUE TO MY LEAVE FROM THE OFFICE. SHE AND HER PARENTS IS TELLING ME THAT SHE WILL NOT RETURN TO MY HOUSE, SHE WILL STAY THERE WITH HER BABY AND THE SERVICE. SHE WILL NOT GIVE ME DIVORCE OR MCD. I STAY AT MY HOUSE. BUT I HAVE TO DO MY DUTY AS HUSBAND AND FATHER FROM HERE JUST BY SENDING HER MONEY. THEY R ONLY CONCERNED OF MY MONEY. THEY HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR THA BABY ALSO THAT VFOR NO FAULT OF THE BABY HE IS MISSING HIS FATHER AND I`M MISSING MY SON. THE ATMOSPHERE HAVE DETEORIATED OVER THE MONTHS FOR ME TO GO TO MY INLAWS HOUSE ANY MORE. MY WIFE SCHOOL IS A GIRLS SCHOOL . I HAVE STOPPED SENDING HER THE MONEY FROM JULY. I HAVE NO OTHER OPTION TO MAKE MY WIFE REALISE THE HARDNESS OF LIFE. THE BABY IS SUFFERING. BUT I`M HELPLESS. I HAVE WROTE HER ATLEAST 8 LETTERS, INFINITE SMSs AND PHONE CALLS REQUESTING/URGING HER TO RETURN TO MY HOUSE. BUT SHE IS ADAMANT. SHE IS NOT THINKING ABT THE FUTURE AND BABY LIFE.

I`M JUST WAITING FOR FEW MONTHS. THEN OUT OF NO OPTION I HAVE TO FILE RCR. AS PER THE LEGAL SYSYTEM. DIVORCE IS NOT MY OPTION. BUT IF SHE IS NOT READY TO COME AT ALL THEN I HAVE TO THINK FOR SEPARATION AS I HAVE TO LOOK MY OWN LIFE. SHE EVEN TOLD ME THAT IF I FILE FOR CHILD VISITATION  & GETS VISITATION RIGHTS THEN SHE WILL NOT ALLOW ME AND MY MOTHER TO TOUCH THE BABY. WE HAVE TO SEE THE BABY FROM A DISTANCE APART. WE CAN`T TOUCH THE BABY , CAN`T TAKE MY BABY IN MY ARMS AND PLAY WITH HIM, CAN`T GIFT HIM OR FEED HIM ANY SWEETS AND CHOCLATES. IMAGINE HER MENTALITY. IF I GET VISITATION RIGHT WILL THE COURT ALLOW HER DEMANDS REGARDING MY VISITATION. THE PROBLEM IS MY MOTHER IS VIRTUALLY ON DEATH BED. SHE IS MENTAL SHOCK AFTER LOOSING HER HUSBAND(MY FATHER). SHE CANT TRAVEL 400 KMS TO SEE HER GRANDSON ATLEAST ONCE BEFORE SHE EXPIRES. ON THAT CASE WILL THE COURT ALLOW VISITATION RIGHT TO MY MOTHER IN SUCH A WAY THAT MY WIFE HAVE TO TRAVEL 400 KMS TO MY PALCE AND SHOW THE BABY TO MY SICK MOTHER?

I KNOW WHEN I FILE RCR SHE WILL FILE 498A / DV/ MAINTENACE. I HAVE ALREADY SPOKE TO LAWYER. I HAVE FILED A GD IN OUR LOCAL POLICE STN UPDATING THEM MY FAMILY PROB. SHE MAY FILE FOR MAINTENANCE AS SHE AND HER PARENTS R ONLY INTERESTED ABT MY MONEY BECAUSE I WAS WORKING IN ABROAD BEFORE MARRIAGE. BUT THE QUESTION IS MY WIFE IS WORKING IN THE SCHOOL WHICH IS A GOVT SCHOOL AND GETS  A SALARY OF Rs. 15000 + FREE LODGING AND FOODING. IS SHE ENTITLED TO GET MAINTENACE FROM ME. I`M READY TO PAY FOR THE BABY. IN FUTURE CAN I GET CUSTODY OF THE BABY?

ALL THESE ARE UNNECESSARILY CREATED BY HER AND HER PARENTS.I DONT KNOW WHAT SHE IS BENEFITTING FROM THIS. BUT STILL THE LAW AND THE SOCIETY WILL FAVOUR THE WIFE AND FIND GUILTY IN THE HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY AND BLAME US. THATS WHY INDIAN MEN & NOT WOMEN ARE HIGHLY DEPRESSED AND STRESSED.

 

 

DR MPS RAMANI : 

 MY HOUSE AND MY INLAWS HOUSE ARE 400 KMS AWAY AND IN DIFFERENT STATE. I STAY IN A METROPOLITAN  CITY WHERE THERE ARE LOTSSS OF OPPURTUNITY AND FAST LIFE. MY INLAWS HOUSE IN DIFFERENT STATE AND IN A SMALL TOWN. THE MATTER OF FACT IS THAT I WAS WORKING IN ABROAD BEFORE MY MARRIAGE. MY JOB SITUATION WAS SUCH THAT I CANT TKAE MY FAMILY THERE. THATS WHY IT WAS DECIDED BETWEEN ME & MY WIFE BEFORE MARRAIGE AND EVEN BETWEEN HER AND MINE PARENTS THAT I WILL LEAVE MY ABROAD JOB AFTER MARRIAGE AND SHE WILL RESIGN FROM HER JOB AS HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE IS 400 KMS AWAY FROM HER PARENTS HOUSE. I KEPT MY PROMISE. SHE LEFT THE JOB( PRESUMED TO BE AS I DIDNT CHECK WITH HER WHETHER SHE RESIGNED OR TOOK LEAVE. I JUST BELEIVED HER THAT SHE RESIGNED. MAY BE SHE HAVE RESIGNED THAT TIME). I`M WORKING IN A PVT SECTOR SERVICE INDUSTRY WHERE THE JOB STRAINS IS TOO MUCH AND LONG WORKING HOURS. SO THINKING FOR THE FUTURE I VERY WELL BRIEFED HER THAT I`M LOOKING FOR A SIMPLE GIRL , EDUCATED WILL LOOK AFTER THE HOUSE. I DONT WANT HER TO DO JOB BECAUSE UNDER GOD GRACE I`M FINANICALLY STABLE....  BUT IF SHE IS INTERESTED IN DOING JOB SHE CAN DO BUT FOR THAT SHE HAVE TO ADJUST HER DAILY SCHEDULE ACCORDINGLY. THE HOUSE SHOULD NOT BE AFFECTED AS I CAN GIVE VERY LESS TIME TO MY HOUSE/FAMILY DUE TO JOB CONSTRIANTS. I HAVE VERY WELL BRIEFED HER REPEATEDLY BEFORE MARRIAGE. THEN WHY SHE DIDNT KEPT HER PROMISE SHE DID TO ME BEFORE MARRAIGE. IN OTHER WORDS SHE AND HER PARENTS HAVE CHEATED US. ONE MORE THING WHICH I`M REALISING IS THAT SHE WAS NOT ADJUSTABLE TO THE LIFE OF METROPOLITAN CITY. SHE CANT COPE WITH THE FAST LIFE. SHE WAS NOT CONFIDENT OF GETTING A JOB IN THE METRO CITY. AFTER ALL SHE HAVE TO DO WELL IN THE INTERVIEW FOR THE JOB OF SCHOOL TEACHER. I CANT APPEAR THE INTERVIEW ON BEHALF OF HER. MY RELATION WITH HER WAS GOOD AND EVEN WITH MY PARENTS TOOO. HOWEVER SMALL SMALL THINGS IN DAILY HOUSEHOLD LIFE DOES TAKE PLACE BUT IF ANYONE MIND ON THOSE THINGS THEN HE/SHE SHOULDNT GET MARRIED. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE  AS SHE WAS NEWLY WED BAHU IN OUR HOUSE, MY MOTHER USED TO TELL HER TO BE LITTLE WELL DRESSED SPEACIALLY IN THE EVENING WHEN THER IS HARDLY ANY WORK IS THER. IN THE EVENING SOME OF OUR RELATIVES/FRIENDS DO VISIT TO OUR HOUSE. MY MOM USED TO TELL HER THAT IF U DONT DRESSED UP PROPERLY WHAT OUR RELATIVES WILL THINK ABT U AND ABT US. SHE MIND ON THAT AND LATER TOLD ME THAT MY MOM IS PULLING HER LEGS UNNECESSARILY. MY PAENTS ARE VERY OLD. SHE USED TO MADE CHAPATIS WHICH ARE VERY CRISP AND HARD. NOW MY MOM HAVE SHOWED HER REPEATEDLY HOW TO MADE SOFT CHAPATIS. AS MY PARENTS WERE VERY OLD THEY HAVE LOST MOST OF THEIR TEETHS AND HENCE FIND VERY DIFFICULT TO CHEW HARD AND CRISP CHAPATIS. NOW ITS MAY HAPEEN 1 DAY, 2 DAY, 3 DAY,...... 1 MONTH, 2MONTH...... TO LEARN. SO EVEN AFTER 6 MONTHS SHE USED TO MADE THAT SAME TYPE OF CHAPATI WHICH ARE VERY HARD AND CRISP. SHE DIDNT SHOWED ANYINTEREST TO LEARN TO DO HOUSEHOLD WORK.  THEN ONE DAY MY FATHER TOLD HER THAT R U DELIBERATELY MAKING HARD AND CRISP CHAPATI SO THAT WE CANT EAT OR U DONT WANT TO MAKE CHAPATI. WELL IN THAT CASE UR MOTHER-IN-LAW WILL MAKE SOFT CHAPATI WHERE ATLEAST WE CAN EAT. SHE MIND ON THIS COMMENT OF MY FATHER (FATHER NO MORE NOW). SHE COMPLAINED TO ME. SO INSTEAD OF HAVING FEELING FOR HER OLD INLAWS THAT THEY WERE UNABLE TO EAT AND RECTIFY IT SHE IS MINDING ON IT AND COMPALINING TO ME. WHY???? SMALL SMALL MATTERS OF HOUSEHOLD WORKS. BUT IN GENERAL AND IN FORUM PUBLIC TELLS ME THAT I GOT MARRIED TO BRING A COOK/MAID SERVANT. IF THAT IS THE CASE  THEN DID SHE GOT  MARRIED  WITH ME TO GET A SERVANT?

SHE WENT TO HER PARENTS HOUSE WITH HER PARENTS WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANTON THE PRETEXT THAT THE DELIVERY WILL TAKE PLACE THERE AT HER PARENTS HOUSE.. ONLY UPON REACHING THERE SHE AND HER PARENTS APPLIED FOR THAT SAME JOB WHERE SHE WAS WORKING BEFORE MARRIAGE. SHE NEITHER DISCUSSED WITH ME NOR INFORMED ME. ONLY AFTER JOINING SHE INFORMED ME. LADIES USED TO GO ON LEAVE IN PREGNANT CONDITION BUT SHE JOINED IN PREGNANT CONDITION. EVEN WHY DID HER PARENTS HELPED IS A BIG SURPRISE TO ME. IN THE FORUM PUBLIC TELLS ME THAT I AND MY PARENTS MUST HAVE ILL TREATED HER WHICH FORCED HER TO TAKE SUCH A DRASTIC STEP. BUT THE FACT IS THAT SHE WANTS TO DO JOB AND AT HER PARENTS HOUSE. FOR THAT PURPOSE SHE IS NOT READY TO RETURN. AND AS AN EXCUSE SHE WILL PUT FALSE ALLEGATIONS ON ME AND MY PARENTS. THOUGH MY FATHER IS NO MORE NOW.

SHE IS NOT REAY TO RETURN. SHE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ME DIVORCE ALSO. BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WILL NOT LEAD A MARRIED LIFE WITH ME NOR SHE WILL GIVE ME DIVORCE SO THAT I CANT REMARRY AGAIN AND LEAD A MARRIED LIFE. JUST IMAGINE WHATS SORT OF MENATLITY SHE GOT. SHE IS GIVING ME VAGUE TERMS AND CONDITIONS THAT SHE WILL RETURN TO MY HOUSE BUT FOR THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE MY 75 YRS OLD WIDOW SICK MOTHER. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. THER IS NO ONE TO LOOK AFTER HER. SHE KNOWS VERY WELL THAT I WILL NOT LEAVE MY MOTHER THATS THE REASON SHE IS GIVING ME SUCH VAGUE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. 

I DONT KNOW HOW SHE IS MANAGING HER WORK AND TAKING CARE OF THE BABY AT THE SCHOOL. I WENT TO MEET HER DURING DELIVERY. THEN I WENT AGAIN 1,5 MOTNTS BACK. ITS VERY DIUFFICULT FOR ME TO GO THERE VERY FREQUENT DUE TO MY LEAVE FROM THE OFFICE. SHE AND HER PARENTS IS TELLING ME THAT SHE WILL NOT RETURN TO MY HOUSE, SHE WILL STAY THERE WITH HER BABY AND THE SERVICE. SHE WILL NOT GIVE ME DIVORCE OR MCD. I STAY AT MY HOUSE. BUT I HAVE TO DO MY DUTY AS HUSBAND AND FATHER FROM HERE JUST BY SENDING HER MONEY. THEY R ONLY CONCERNED OF MY MONEY. THEY HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR THA BABY ALSO THAT VFOR NO FAULT OF THE BABY HE IS MISSING HIS FATHER AND I`M MISSING MY SON. THE ATMOSPHERE HAVE DETEORIATED OVER THE MONTHS FOR ME TO GO TO MY INLAWS HOUSE ANY MORE. MY WIFE SCHOOL IS A GIRLS SCHOOL . I HAVE STOPPED SENDING HER THE MONEY FROM JULY. I HAVE NO OTHER OPTION TO MAKE MY WIFE REALISE THE HARDNESS OF LIFE. THE BABY IS SUFFERING. BUT I`M HELPLESS. I HAVE WROTE HER ATLEAST 8 LETTERS, INFINITE SMSs AND PHONE CALLS REQUESTING/URGING HER TO RETURN TO MY HOUSE. BUT SHE IS ADAMANT. SHE IS NOT THINKING ABT THE FUTURE AND BABY LIFE.

I`M JUST WAITING FOR FEW MONTHS. THEN OUT OF NO OPTION I HAVE TO FILE RCR. AS PER THE LEGAL SYSYTEM. DIVORCE IS NOT MY OPTION. BUT IF SHE IS NOT READY TO COME AT ALL THEN I HAVE TO THINK FOR SEPARATION AS I HAVE TO LOOK MY OWN LIFE. SHE EVEN TOLD ME THAT IF I FILE FOR CHILD VISITATION  & GETS VISITATION RIGHTS THEN SHE WILL NOT ALLOW ME AND MY MOTHER TO TOUCH THE BABY. WE HAVE TO SEE THE BABY FROM A DISTANCE APART. WE CAN`T TOUCH THE BABY , CAN`T TAKE MY BABY IN MY ARMS AND PLAY WITH HIM, CAN`T GIFT HIM OR FEED HIM ANY SWEETS AND CHOCLATES. IMAGINE HER MENTALITY. IF I GET VISITATION RIGHT WILL THE COURT ALLOW HER DEMANDS REGARDING MY VISITATION. THE PROBLEM IS MY MOTHER IS VIRTUALLY ON DEATH BED. SHE IS MENTAL SHOCK AFTER LOOSING HER HUSBAND(MY FATHER). SHE CANT TRAVEL 400 KMS TO SEE HER GRANDSON ATLEAST ONCE BEFORE SHE EXPIRES. ON THAT CASE WILL THE COURT ALLOW VISITATION RIGHT TO MY MOTHER IN SUCH A WAY THAT MY WIFE HAVE TO TRAVEL 400 KMS TO MY PALCE AND SHOW THE BABY TO MY SICK MOTHER?

I KNOW WHEN I FILE RCR SHE WILL FILE 498A / DV/ MAINTENACE. I HAVE ALREADY SPOKE TO LAWYER. I HAVE FILED A GD IN OUR LOCAL POLICE STN UPDATING THEM MY FAMILY PROB. SHE MAY FILE FOR MAINTENANCE AS SHE AND HER PARENTS R ONLY INTERESTED ABT MY MONEY BECAUSE I WAS WORKING IN ABROAD BEFORE MARRIAGE. BUT THE QUESTION IS MY WIFE IS WORKING IN THE SCHOOL WHICH IS A GOVT SCHOOL AND GETS  A SALARY OF Rs. 15000 + FREE LODGING AND FOODING. IS SHE ENTITLED TO GET MAINTENACE FROM ME. I`M READY TO PAY FOR THE BABY. IN FUTURE CAN I GET CUSTODY OF THE BABY?

ALL THESE ARE UNNECESSARILY CREATED BY HER AND HER PARENTS.I DONT KNOW WHAT SHE IS BENEFITTING FROM THIS. BUT STILL THE LAW AND THE SOCIETY WILL FAVOUR THE WIFE AND FIND GUILTY IN THE HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY AND BLAME US. THATS WHY INDIAN MEN & NOT WOMEN ARE HIGHLY DEPRESSED AND STRESSED.

PLS ADVICE.

 

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     14 August 2011

Dear Mr. Subhomoy Das:  It makes me really sad to read your story. In fact a solution is also very difficult to find. Your wife is spoiling her own life and that of your son. I am surprised that even her parents support her attitude. Do they not think that their daughter will suffer in due course? Are they going to live all through the life of their daughter and grandson? Have your wife brothers or sisters? Where are they? Do they have no opinions in this matter? Though such behaviour is irrational, it is not unique.  There are many cases like this. Unfortunately lawmakers unleash the police to solve domestic problems. Police are psychologically ill-equipped to handle domestic issues. By the nature of their work they are brutes with no mind to think in a humane manner. These are fit cases for a psychiatrist. She may not go to a psychiatrist. But you can.

 It is bad luck if a man gets a wife who cannot cook food. Actually good food is more important than s*x.

 What are the qualifications of your wife? To which class is she teaching and what subjects? Is it possible for you to engage a private detective, preferably a woman to go to her village, find out what people in the school are thinking about her, has she miss-informed them and whether it will be possible to find a colleague, who will advise her to do the right thing for her own good and the good of her son? It will be very difficult for her to live as a single mother with no father for her son. Society will look down upon her. She will want her son to grow up and come up in life. Even if you send money, that alone will not be enough.

In this forum there are only opinionated men and women, who treat other people’s miseries as subject for debate. Many of them have suffered at the hands of their spouse and in-laws and they believe that the whole world is like their own experience.

 Your original post was addressed to Madam Roshni. Has she replied your post? I do not see anything here. Did she contact you through PM?



Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     14 August 2011

Originally posted by :Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech]
"
Your original post was addressed to Madam Roshni. Has she replied your post? I do not see anything here. Did she contact you through PM?


 
"

 

 

ramani jee,

its not a good idea to play politics or instigate members towards one another which u r trying to do here,by telling subhomoy as to why i am "insensitive" towards his life story.to remind you, this is a forum.you may play politics in your workplace,family etc. and see differences emerge amongst members,while u enjoy the tamasha.

 it is not logical and time effective for me to reply to each and every person who responds to my thread or challenges my views.if i start doing the same,i will be drained mentally and physically by answering to people's responses to me 24/7.

rather i will request you to start responding to each and every reply you get in the forums that u started/participate in.lets see if u have the time and energy to do it all the time.

 

 its also comical on ur part to expect that i shud reply to subhomoy thru PM.is there any such LCI rule that if sum1 responds to my thread with his problem,i shud send him a PM?someone please tell me if there is any such rule...wot a rubbish expectation!!

 

my thread talks of married women who are forced to do multitasking without an iota of complaint.it does not talk of women like subhomoy's wife who lie b4 marriage,then have their way after marriage.so dont try to mix up these 2 issues.

 

i hope u have this much common sense to be able to differentiate b/w the women i have talked about in this thread,and subhomoy's wife!

 

if not,you may continue provoking him,as it is ur fav. pastime.

 

NOTE-u have shown ur concern in the past also in another news thread started by me where abhinatre gupt had declared that he was the actual groom in this news where he was alleged to demand dowry.despite me telling u that i have already clarified with abhinatre gupt that i am unknown to him and the news was taken from yahoo news,u did not get your quota of entertainment that day.so u kept provoking abhinatre against me as to why i posted that news.finally wen i posted your very own extracts in LCI where u have criticised muslims,jayalalitha,etc,you suddenly changed ur stand and said surprisingly that u have learnt to take things with a pinch of salt!!

 

SO,NEXT TIME WEN U GO TO A TEMPLE,PRAY TO GOD "OH GOD!  PLEASE HELP ME TO GET RID OF MY HABIT TO DERIVE ENTERTAINMENT BY PROVOKING PEOPLE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER.I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME THE VICTIM OF A POLITICIAN IN MY NEXT BIRTH..

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     14 August 2011

No politics here Madam. Here it is a post and response. In the first place the post of Mr.Subhomoy Roy was addressed to you. He and others expect a reply.Don't be too sensitive. If one expresses a contrary opinion or reports a contrary case we should respond. If necessary we should correct ourselves. I always do that, particularly if I were addressed by name. There is no instance, where I have not responded, unless the other person was agreeing with me.

Take it sportingly Madam. 

1 Like

Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     16 August 2011

MPS RAMANI.

MY WIFE IS M.Sc (PHYSICS- 1st CLASS) AND B.Ed. SHE IS EARNING 15000/- P.M. PLUS FREE LODING AND FOODING. HER PARENTS DOESNT WANT HER TO RETURN TO MY HOUSE. MY WIFE AND HER PARENTS HAVE SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME THAT SHE WILL STAY AT HER PARENTS HOUSE /SCHOOL HOSTEL WITH THE BABY , I `L STAY AT MY HOUSE. BUT I HAVE TO DO THE DUTY OF HUSBAND  AND FATHER JUST BY SENDING HER MONEY ..... IT DOESNT MATTER WHETHER I VISIT TO MEET WITH MY WIFE AND BABY. THEY R JUST CONCERNED ABT MY  MONEY.  YOU TELL ME IS THIS A LIFE?  SMALL PROBLEMS / DIFFERENCE OF OPINIONS DO TAKE PLACE IN ALL FAMILIES . BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN A WIFE SHOULD LEAVE HER HUSBAND DASHING ALL HIS DREAMS.

SHE HAVE ONE ELDER BROTHER AND SISTER. HER BROTHER IS LEAST CONCERNED ABT ALL THIS. HER ISITER IS BUSY WITH HER OWN FAMILY AND KIDS. BUT THEN ALSO MAY BE HER SISTER IS GIVING HER /BRAINWASHING HER REG NOT TO RETURN TO MY HOUSE.

 

I`L WAIT FOR 2/3 MONTHS MORE. THEN I`L GO FOR LEGAL BATTLE AS THEY WILL NOT GIVE ME DIVORCE /MCD. I`VE TO FIGHT MY OWN BATTLE FOR THE SAKE OF MY OWN FUTURE. CAN I GET THE CUSTODY / VISITATION RIGHTS OF MY BABY.

PLS ADVICE.

 


(Guest)

yes u can get visitation right.


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