First of all, don't ignore notice by court...
Act before it is set down ex-parte.
If you want divorce, either file it as counter plea to husband RCR petition or file a separate suit in your state for divorce.
you need to attend the husband's case once and file an application of stay of proceeding stating that you intend to file transfer of suit in your state and you are unable to attend it in that state.
If you give cogent reason against restitution(RCR) no court would compell anyone to cohabit.
But if RCR is passed, then husband also can ask for each divorce.
You shud ask for return of dowry/streedhan articles as well as some reasonable maintenance and alimony.
I think you should contact alawyer.
To transfer petition to your state, you need to file it at supreme court. Don't get bogged down by word SC.
You are allowed to file a simple application which tell that both have you filed suits in different states, but it needs to be heard together and you can't make it to other state due to your problems (commutation, financial, no relatves, friends etc etc etc )
But first ............... at least once go to court in other state and attend it and ask for more time and file an application /purshis at least which says you are going to file for transfer and mke a prayer to 'stay/suspend' the proceedings as well as give a very liberal hearing date after two three months etc.
you sound like you also need divorce...then bargain for return of articles etc and simply finish the matter, if there is no likelihood of playing a badmouth by other party afterwards ....
You may get maintenance and alimony.