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(Guest)

I want to save my marriage, no divorce please

Hi,

 I got married 3 months back in dec. Though it was love marriage from shaadi.com . Must be surprised why love marriage from shaadi.com ? it must be arranged right, but no. Girl is of same cast from Mumbai and I am from Ahmedabad. She is dentist having small clinic over there and I am HR professional with IT MNC here. Her parents never wanted to her get married out of Mumbai. But we falled in love and finally run away after 1.5 yrs skipping from her parents. We got married and stayed here for 10 days at my home. Meanwhile we spent almost Rs 3.5 lac to purchase gold jewellory and clothes etc. Her parents came here pretending that they accepted our marriage and took back to Mumbai saying they will send her back after a week. I was idiot to send her back to let them wash her brain. 

 After taking her back to Mumbai, they put a condition to live seperately in Ahmedabad, So as I rented one flat ( as my another flat is under construction ). Within two days they said, they do not want to let her go to Ahmedabad, I must come to Mumbai leaving my job and joining another in Mumbai. I said ok, I let go my all deposit  and brokerage to the rented flat and put resignation to my current company at Ahmedabad and searched another job in Mumbai. After getting job in Mumbai, when i am ready to move to Mumbai ( accepting their demands of renting flat with LED TV, fridge, ac, washing machine etc ), they are saying we will see when to send their daughter. They will take their time to decided if / when to send their daughter. Now I have exactly understood that they do not want to send their daughter back, they are also visiting matrimonial sites to look for boy. How can they look for boy when their daughter is already married ? Its legal marriage. But they do not seem to care all this.

 Now its been 3 months, gradually they have stopped our phone / sms communication. They have never called us back in 3 months. They are not letting her go alone anywhere, home to clinic, and clinic to home - her father is always with her. Its all the time we have to call them, they never call us back. They insult my family, my elders and me very badly. 

It was love marriage, and I know girl loved me truely. If I get a chance to talk to her, I can change the whole game. I am not in favour of divorce, and they want to seperate us. What should I do ? Should I file a case against them via court for Restitution letter asking her to come back. Can I save my marriage ? I can not even talk to her. They have washed her brain. She is not ready to talk to me.

 Please advise



Learning

 15 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     19 February 2014

Try to talk to her with some of close friends.Send them as her patient.This advice may seem filmy, but trust me in such situation these things work! If you are married then they can not get her married again.Don't go for legal steps right now.

She is not a small girl now, if she loves you she can try to contact you by any means.

1 Like

fighting back (exec)     19 February 2014

............repeated query........new thread..................

1 Like

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     19 February 2014

If you believe that her parents are confining her against her wishes, lodge a complaint with the police on the grounds of wrongful confinement against her wishes and to retrieve your wife from their custody or else go for restitution of conjugal rights.


(Guest)

@ T Kalaiselvan,

 Well I am not sure what is the situation out there. They have washed her brain to such an extent that the girl herself do not want to talk to me now. She keeps her phone switched off and when I went there to meet her personally to her clinic last week, her father kept her inside the room locking the door with stopper and insulted me that why did I came to meet them at clinic etc. They are not letting us communicate anyhow. They are saying girl herself doesnt want to talk to me. She is denying to live with me. Because everytime they are insulting me / my family over the phone, they are exciting me to rouse against them over the phone,,,,and thats where they prove me wrong that this boy is not liable for you. He is mis behaving with your parents, how can he keep you happy ? should you marry with such a boy who insults her parents ? etc etc. But girl doesnt understand that her parents are not behaving the way one behaves with their son in law or in-laws. My parents are still moderate,, they dont get anger over the phone and behave gently. Girl must understand that her parents are playing mal-practice and showing me bad infront of everybody.

 I met with one lawyer for restitution, but what she dials wrong cases against me ? and offcourse her parents will play all this tricks using their daughter. I will get a chance to speak to her in court if I file for Restitution, but would I be able to clean all dirt within that half an hour discussion in the court....its question of life. Seriously I am mentally harrased.


(Guest)

@ T Kalaiselvan,

 Well I am not sure what is the situation out there. They have washed her brain to such an extent that the girl herself do not want to talk to me now. She keeps her phone switched off and when I went there to meet her personally to her clinic last week, her father kept her inside the room locking the door with stopper and insulted me that why did I came to meet them at clinic etc. They are not letting us communicate anyhow. They are saying girl herself doesnt want to talk to me. She is denying to live with me. Because everytime they are insulting me / my family over the phone, they are exciting me to rouse against them over the phone,,,,and thats where they prove me wrong that this boy is not liable for you. He is mis behaving with your parents, how can he keep you happy ? should you marry with such a boy who insults her parents ? etc etc. But girl doesnt understand that her parents are not behaving the way one behaves with their son in law or in-laws. My parents are still moderate,, they dont get anger over the phone and behave gently. Girl must understand that her parents are playing mal-practice and showing me bad infront of everybody.

 I met with one lawyer for restitution, but what she dials wrong cases against me ? and offcourse her parents will play all this tricks using their daughter. I will get a chance to speak to her in court if I file for Restitution, but would I be able to clean all dirt within that half an hour discussion in the court....its question of life. Seriously I am mentally harrased.


(Guest)

@ T Kalaiselvan,

 Well I am not sure what is the situation out there. They have washed her brain to such an extent that the girl herself do not want to talk to me now. She keeps her phone switched off and when I went there to meet her personally to her clinic last week, her father kept her inside the room locking the door with stopper and insulted me that why did I came to meet them at clinic etc. They are not letting us communicate anyhow. They are saying girl herself doesnt want to talk to me. She is denying to live with me. Because everytime they are insulting me / my family over the phone, they are exciting me to rouse against them over the phone,,,,and thats where they prove me wrong that this boy is not liable for you. He is mis behaving with your parents, how can he keep you happy ? should you marry with such a boy who insults her parents ? etc etc. But girl doesnt understand that her parents are not behaving the way one behaves with their son in law or in-laws. My parents are still moderate,, they dont get anger over the phone and behave gently. Girl must understand that her parents are playing mal-practice and showing me bad infront of everybody.

 I met with one lawyer for restitution, but what she dials wrong cases against me ? and offcourse her parents will play all this tricks using their daughter. I will get a chance to speak to her in court if I file for Restitution, but would I be able to clean all dirt within that half an hour discussion in the court....its question of life. Seriously I am mentally harrased.


(Guest)

@ Fighting back....

Should i file for restitution now,,,as its been 3 months we got married. As per my knowledge,if husband - wife are  not living together for 6 months, then court easily grants divorce ?


(Guest)

I beg to defer with Kalaiselvan ji here.


Listen to Kalaiselvan and kiss your marriage goodbye, once and for all. 


Go to police if you have been cheated, robbed, have been through extortion etc which are crimes.  But not for getting back wife.


It is the wife whose word will be final,  if she does not want to talk to you, join you.  It is her wish and nobody can force her to change her wish, that wish might be the outcome of brainwashing or what not.  But one thing you have to understand, even courts cannot pass order to your wife that she should join you.


Marital life is based on sheer understanding between husband and wife.  Which is not at all present between you both.


Your wife listens to her parents and not you is such a dumb excuse.


And filing RCR also is of no use as no court can make your wife come back to you and sleep beside you.


I would advise that, take your parents to talk to her and her parents and solve the matter amicably.  


Please do not enter police station just like that, but tell them before you go to her place, stating that we are going for talks and not for fight, give a formal letter stating so and so to the Inspector of local police station.


She would not agree to join back in just one go, but such talks will happen over a period of time, do not be deterred that she said no the first time.  And finally after all talks have failed, if she is unwilling to join you back, ask her for MCD and get rid of headache.


Always remember, time and tide wait for none.

1 Like

(Guest)

@ Helping Hand.....

 Thank you for explaining this. It makes sense. Police or court can not get my wife back. My intention is not to fight with them and get seperated, instead I want her back in my life. Want to live and let her live happily. Parents / elders involvement can resolve the matter, finally if she wants to come back, its fine otherwise it is her destiny. What all we can do is efforts right

K.P.Satish Kumar (Advocate)     23 February 2014

You can file a case for restitution of conjugal rights in the family court to re-unite. the court will send you and your wife to counselling to sort out your problems and give a solution for a peaceful living.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : K.P.Satish Kumar

You can file a case for restitution of conjugal rights in the family court to re-unite. the court will send you and your wife to counselling to sort out your problems and give a solution for a peaceful living.


Joke of the decade.


Counsellors are not super humans, they wont even have time to look at people who have come to them, with the number of divorce cases on the rise more than before, it will be a headache job for them.  And when one party to the marriage is adamant, what will they do?  Point a gun at the party and make them unite with each other?


Either the boy or the girl should have themselves realized the importance of being married and then settle matters amicably and adjust and go with each other.  But seldom does it hapen so.

 Before matter reaches counselling in court, boy side would have done badmouthing about girl and her side.  And girl also would have done lot of badmouthing about boy, so making it really impossible to unite them again.


Along with these, some stupid advocates would have suggested, file RCR, let her come back to the boy or the girl.  101% the will suggest to girl, you file maintenance case u/s 125 crpc, and look how boy will come running to get you back.  and there starts the never ending saga of mountain high attitudes, and when both reach counselling, result is counselling FAILED counselling FAILED counselling FAILED counselling FAILED 


Now the same lawyer will suggest, now we cant do anything, matter is in front of judge. :-))

Yadanand Legal help (maintenance divorce remarriage = yourscrew@gmail.com)     23 February 2014

People just to satisfy their ego created many ID s and just pouring vemon to distroy possible family restitution.

 

And what will happen life long payment of maintenance with large no of cases which will be run by police and the party has to defend with heavy cost.

fighting back (exec)     23 February 2014

perfect reply by helping hand!! nothing more can be added...........

the author, it seems is being carried away by a wave of emotions, so there is no point in giving him practical advise, if he has chosen to take the hard path, so let him tread on it........when he will stumble on stones like 498A, DV and some other gifts by his 'beloved' then he will open his eyes........and ponder over the advise given by the experts................


(Guest)

@ Helping Hand and @ Fighting Back, also @ Yadanand Legal help....

 Thanks a tone for your advise. In short, its a relation of Love, we did love marriage. It must be sorted out with Love. Not in court to insult each other. Lets see if I can do it, otherwise thank you very much for your support and preventing me. Such holy work you guys are doing, Bless you


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