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Needs Advice (Data Entry Optr)     01 May 2012

How to save urself from the mess of 498a before marrying

If you are a bachelor looking for a bride or you are looking for a bride for your son , for God's sake please be informed about IPC section 498a which can be used to loot your family. Please follow the below checklist to make sure you are not getting a 498a wife or daughter in law. It would be better if you can hire a detective to gather the informations mentioned below. This would save you from the huge humilation, harrasment that your family may face in police custody/jail.

  • Check whether someone from the girl's father's family or mother's family has ditched her husband for trivial reasons and staying in her parent's house
  • If the girl that you are going to marry is currently having a full fledged relationship with someone who is a frequent visitor to the girl's house - stay away
  • If the girl is having a relationship with her brother in law or her close relative - stay away
  • Check whether the girl's family is in deep debt (lot of home loans, car loans) and their income is less than their spending
  • If both the girl's parent are working , be double cautious , girls with lot of freedoms can really be troublesome
  • Make sure there is not much difference in economic status between your family and girl's family
  • Make sure the girl is a good match to you physically. (example if she is fat and you are too thin, stay away)
  • If the girl starts saying things like "I love you ,etc." before marraige , just do not get melted , 90% of the time she may be just acting as told by her parent.
  • if the girl has got a close lawyer relative and the lawyer is not earning much from his practice, be extra cautios. Verify whether the lawyer is ready to fight a fake 498a case.

·        If the girl is very hot tempered , better to avoid

  • If you belive in astrology , for God's sake get both of your kundali matched by a good astrologer
  • If you are not taking any dowry , better put in writing that "No dowry was exchanged in this marriage" in a stamp paper and get it signed by the girl and her parent


Learning

 15 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     01 May 2012

@ Author


Just playing devil (suggest to take my takes in that spirit only) while rebutting for sake of this thread post.


Check whether someone from the girl's father's family or mother's family has ditched her husband for trivial reasons and staying in her parent's house
Take: That is what Indian ‘arranged marriage’ are all about. So?

If the girl that you are going to marry is currently having a full fledged relationship with someone who is a frequent visitor to the girl's house - stay away
Take:  A milkman is generic visitor to most Indian families every morning and evening (you see fresh milk is staple needs of great Indian middle class). So?

If the girl is having a relationship with her brother in law or her close relative - stay away
Take: Then generic counter advise all prospective grooms to fist take crash course in ‘becoming certified detective and master of spying instrumentation. So?

Check whether the girl's family is in deep debt (lot of home loans, car loans) and their income is less than their spending
Take: That is what Indian ‘arranged marriage’ are all about. So?


If both the girl's parent are working be double cautious , girls with lot of freedoms can really be troublesome
Take:
That will alienate all prospective brides from ‘great Indian middle class” as well as “suffering ‘rural populace” so all that will be left is Shelter Homes / orphanage prospective available brides. Well is that is your advise then let prospective reader decide the last mile left outs and carry on for that  matter.


Make sure there is not much difference in economic status between your family and girl's family

Take: That is what Indian ‘arranged marriage’ are all about. So?


Make sure the girl is a good match to you physically. (example if she is fat and you are too thin, stay away)

Take: That is what Indian ‘arranged marriage’ are all about. Well many prefer in that way too, So?


If the girl starts saying things like "I love you ,etc." before marriage , just do not get melted , 90% of the time she may be just acting as told by her parent.
Take: Too late this caution is. Hon’ble SC has already banned Lie detector and brain mapping test which are against consent of parties and who in such case will come forward to give consent think now ! And BTW which Govt. lab you plan to avail services of to authentify her statement made in heat of expectations for a appropriate match!



If the girl has got a close lawyer relative and the lawyer is not earning much from his practice, be extra cautios. Verify whether the lawyer is ready to fight a fake 498a case.
Take: Lawyers are not covered under IT disclosure (though we do our best to file correct returns) and many successive govt. never dared to touch us. So?


If the girl is very hot tempered , better to avoid
Take: Also suggest from where in market a prospective groom is going to buy ‘temperature meter” to check that in early days of their courtshoip!



If you belive in astrology , for God's sake get both of your kundali matched by a good astrologer
Take: That is what Indian ‘arranged marriage’ are all about. So?

If you are not taking any dowry, better put in writing that "No dowry was exchanged in this marriage" in a stamp paper and get it signed by the girl and her parent
Take: You did not read Dowry laws correctly that means; it says the occasion are three fold to book you under such laws – 1st. time – before marriage 2nd time - during marriage (which you offcourse said so) and 3rd time – anytime during their marriage. So brother add 1st. and 3rd. too while cautioning all prospective groom readers here with correct Law. Also be known that she can always say, this pyara husband of mine and his side of pyari family put 100% stainless steel kitchen knife on my head and my parents head to sign such under duress disclosures / statement, so you see @ author all prospective grooms and his side of family goes for a toss initially under this Law read with IPC and there goes for some years to come hope of even their re-marriage as innocence prooving by groom is most challenging act they ever come across by then their mid life crisis.


However appreciate your initial discussion points raised before us but put more efforts in studying case laws and then re-write some genuine doable guidelines for all those prospective grooms as in my opinion no prospective and already established husband is 100% safe till gender biasness remains in such matrimonial Laws. 

4 Like

dr.pawan rajyan (member and secretory)     01 May 2012

tajobs is so much fine to add anything.................!!!!!!!!

1 Like

Vishwa (translator)     02 May 2012

It is a sad reflection on our society that essential things like love and marriage cannot be based on trust and faith.

Alok Tholiya (self employed)     03 May 2012

Really can not be blindly bassed on trust  as there r cheats and frauds everywhere and in marriages too. 

Needs Advice (Data Entry Optr)     03 May 2012

Respected Sir Tajoba thanks for ur intelligent replies.

I find this on some website and posted the same as in this forum for general info only. As i am not a lawyer  and just a commong man who does not know the rules of law so sorry for not knowing the law rules.

Be with us and help people like us.

 

Rameshradhi (h4 )     06 May 2012

men should aware of 498 a before getting married.they need to keep in mind

 

1) groom parents should not  demand for dowry 

 

2) groom parents shouldnt treat  bride and bride parents as enemies before and after marriage

 

3) groom parents  should treat bride as daughter

 

4) groom parents shouldnt expect money from bride for recovering their debts and buying house

 

5) in laws shouldnt think that its right to abuse  daughter inlaw and  seperate boy and girl buy telling bad words

 

6) Husband should take care of wife and protect her in all ways from his parents and relatives

 

7)husband should have some moral and human values , he have to examine which is true and false ......he shouldnt believe blindly wat ever his parents tell him 

8)husband should realise even her mother is women  as his wife..and his wife is going to be mother  ...stop abusing and insulting her infront of every one..i bet  men can't tolerate  single minute if they are in same shoe of women 

1 Like

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     06 May 2012

Marriage is an occasion where in the process of sharing pleasantries during the happy occasion, both sides try to project best part of their character, behavior to each other and try to impress each other as much as possible.  Sometimes trying to impress the people with whom they do not have much acquaintance acts as a rankle and leads them to behave in a egoistic manner with each other during post-marriage period.  This happens because they feel shameful afterwards that they acted too friendly with strangers expressing too much of affection.  This leads to conflicts relating to behavioral part.  Of course other motivations play their role like greed for dowry etc., that is a different aspect.  In general, when the couple and people related to them come out of the experience of marriage and reach back their respective places, they have more things to feel irritated about each other than feel good about.  This happens because they act "too smart" with strangers and try to project the best part of their character, personality and behavior.  And hence expectations are too high from both sides.  The girl imagines a Hero out of husband and the husband imagines a Heroine out of wife.  But none of that sort that they imagine about each other happens because post-marriage they start seeing the most essential part of each other.

 

So when they come to terms with real life they get quickly dissatisfied with each other in the background of the experience of marriage.  So the best way to generally understand each other is not to be too boastful about oneself during marriage.  That creates unnecessary expectations about post-marriage scenario.  it is better to give an understanding that I am like everyone, I can have my own limitations, problems may come and marital life may not be all that rosy.  That will prevent high expectations.  Generally people lacking humility when they marry, they get into all sorts of troubles post-marriage.

3 Like

Alok Tholiya (self employed)     08 May 2012

Very good advise by Shri Chnadrashekhar. 

R K........ (Analyst)     08 May 2012

well done dawoo... Such girls should be strictly punished

1 Like

R K........ (Analyst)     08 May 2012

Dawoo.. Post this message on facebook.. so that it reaches every individual, and no girl can dare to lodge these kind of false complaint

JANAK RAJ VATSA (ADVOCATE)     08 May 2012

be natural and truthful to each other including both the families. boastful and egoism gets you nowhere. marriage is an institution as said, made in heaven and accepted for fructification by both the husband and wife and both the families . how nice it would be if the relations are based on mutual respect, confidence and consideration for each other. the heaven would be here for us to enjoy. so let us strive to do it here.

Needs Advice (Data Entry Optr)     09 May 2012

Janak Raj Ji aap sahi kah rahe hain shadi ko aajkal ek majak bana kar rakh diya hai.

Aaaj kal aadmi bechare apni patni ke liye kya nahi karte magar patni ko to jitna to wo kam hai. Unhe to filmi husband ke demand hai.

Zara socho aap kama rahe hain 5000 per month and she is demanding diamond necklece.

Compromising wife impossible to find now a days. Compromising husband every where found now a days.

"The greatest bond that will unite the hearts of man and wife is faithfulness and loyalty. Both must exercise toward each other the utmost faithfulness and loyalty and not let any trace of jealousy creep between them..."

 

heral (house wife)     21 May 2012

SIR, IT IS TRUE THAT NO NE HAS/HAD ANY ASSUMTION OF GIRLS/WOMEN. REMEBER DUE TO WHOM RAMAYAN AND MAHABHARAT CAME IN LIGHT. SO BELIVE IF IT IS GOING TO HAPPNED IN YOUR LIFE NO ONE CAN SURVIVE WHEHTER U GO FOR BEST ASTROLOGYIC OR ANY  ARRANGED MARRIAGE. SO BE JUST POSITIVE.

Deep Narayan (learning)     26 May 2012

100 taka sach kaha hai need advice:D


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