How to safe guard myself from wife before leaving for abroad


Hello Sir,

My wife has been fighting with me and my parents since marriage over little issues and has insulted my whole family and left the house to her maternal home. I have realized that I made a big mistake by marrying this woman. Its a 1 year old marriage. I have never hurt her in anyway. I gave her enough chances by initiating peaceful talks but she still insults me and family. Even her family members are supporting her. 

My company is sending me abroad for 4 years. I do not want to tell them now, else they will create problems. I want to leave but do not want her in my life. I have a few questions:

  1. Is it mandatory to take wife along? What actions can she take if I refuse to take her in future as I don't trust her. She can create problems there as well. 
  2. What is the best way in which I can safe-guard myself and my family from any false complaints?
  3. Can they affect my work abroad by any false cases in India?
  4. What is the best way in which I make her ask for mutual divorce? 

Thanks in advance.

Arun.

 
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Freedom

Do not disclose the place you are going . There is no binding that she has to be taken along . Next change the place of residence of your parents by shifting them to another place . Do not Disclose the place they stay to anybody . But the problem with this is she can file a case for maintanence and can get an ex-parte order with high maintanence .The reason being that even is summons are served youll would never receive the same 

Now if you wish to contest any false cases than there is no reason for you or your parents to fear . Let her file her false cases and when it comes to evidence stage how or what will she prove . For every Disease there is a cure .

 
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Senior Partner

 

 

Originally posted by : Arun N

 

XXX

My company is sending me abroad for 4 years. I do not want to tell them now, else they will create problems. I want to leave but do not want her in my life.
Observation: Such facts points to ‘desertion by husband” and can be easily proved in her favor by her if Case filed in Family Court.

I have a few questions:

Is it mandatory to take wife along? What actions can she take if I refuse to take her in future as I don't trust her. She can create problems there as well. 
Take:
Till a marriage is subsisting wife has right to live where husband lives which is observation based on your que. If husband refuses to allow wife to live with him then she has remedies built in Family Law acts / codes. She may invoke eventually them.  

What is the best way in which I can safe-guard myself and my family from any false complaints?
Take:
When a Civil Case or Complaint is before you – your side of the family filed by her – her side based on its bare reading objections – reply on merits - rejoinder statements are given with reason for denial and why they are not right are mentioned and evidences are lead. Before future events happen the only advise is not to have got married. Now that you have got married advice is to amicably settle matrimonial issues for safety of all by inviting her – her side to talk across mediation table if marriage is not working out. When a spouse sees that s/he has marital problems then such problems should be dealt in present tense come what may come and should not be left for future tense is my view otherwise Advocates are there and so are Family Courts to solve spousal disputes eventually.

Can they affect my work abroad by any false cases in India?
Take:
Yes. There are means and ways to use adversial Family Law Sections and destabilize once marital peace while living overseas is observation based on your presented brief.

What is the best way in which I make her ask for mutual divorce? 
Take:
Mediation is a art and there is no such thing called good – better – best so far 'outcome' is concerned. If both spouse comes to adjustment – agreement in mediation keeping long term self interests by way of some settled agreement in view then that is ‘best’ way to settle presented marital acrimony between you two. Otherwise Advocates are there and so are Family Courts to solve spousal disputes eventually.

 

 


Total likes : 1 times

 
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Freedom

 

Originally posted by : Tajobsindia

Is it mandatory to take wife along? What actions can she take if I refuse to take her in future as I don't trust her. She can create problems there as well. 
Take: Till a marriage is subsisting wife has right to live where husband lives which is observation based on your que. If husband refuses to allow wife to live with him then she has remedies built in Family Law acts / codes. She may invoke eventually them.  
 

I agree to all of Tajobs reply except the one high lighted in red .

Nowdays wife has rights for everything and as per the new amendment as of date wife has right for 50 % of the property after divorce that too a no fault Divorce 

There is no law as of date while a person is travelling abroad that there is a binding law that forces the husband to take the wife abroad and neither is there a law wherein the wife can force the husband to stay with her . Everything is based on mutual acceptance . 

 
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 Thank you Stanley and TajobsIndia for your valuable input. She is a very stubborn woman. I have not done anything wrong till date, never hit or abused her. If things do not go according to her she threatens to commit suicide and creates scene at home. She left the house herself and I have numerous mails/recordings mentioning this. Her strategy is to cut me off from my family and dominate me which I am not in favour of. Her family had once threatened of putting false dowry case on us. Its not at all safe to live with such cunning people. We even tried initiating peaceful talks but there was no outcome and her family is supporting her demands as well. For now, going abroad is of utmost priority but I want to know a peaceful way in which I can make them ask for divorce without much hassel. After knowing that I am abroad they might take either of two steps:

  1. Take a soft stand and make her apologize and convince me to take her there.
  2. Get mad at me and lodge false cases at me and extract money.

Either way I have decided to part ways from her. She is just not reliable. Its better to be without a wife than one who insults elders and husband.

As going abroad is very important for my financial progress and I cannot put it at stake for her. How can I safe guard my job abroad is my prime concern.

 
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Can I tell them that I cannot take her abroad with me because I am scared of her blackmailing and threats? What will happen if I keep postponing my return date by 6 months everytime they enquire to keep them hanging?

 
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Engineer

Due to work/business, it is possible that husband and wife don't stay together for a long duration. So in this way, it is not necessary to take wife with you. But if you are not taking her with you in current scenario (when the relations are not good), then you are provoking her to go to lawyers. Please re-read the reply of Tajob Sir and understand the consequences.

If there is any chance of NOT breaking the marriage, then take her with you now or after 3 months or so.

Read further on this forum or 498a.org.

 

 
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Social activist and ESIS Legal Consultant (everysufferer isasaviour@gmail.com)

I agree with stanley ........

"as so far there is no law where husband is bound to live with his wife". In your case and circumstances wife is hell bent to torture her husband and his family member then there is no question of peace and prosperity among the relationship of husband and wife.Here a husband who is going to abroad for whatever reason he feels,he can't be confined by pressing his fundamental rights.

But offcourse the remedies are there for her wife in legal terms where a husband doesn't want to live with her wife,she can approach for a right to residence,right to maintenance if she just want to be social wife rather than natural wife. She can't force her husband to take her to where ever he goes or she can't force her husband to love her where ever he get place and time.It's totaly one's wish to fullfil his/her responsibility.

In my opinion: you have to lodge a harassment case on your wife in your nearest police station if she only deserves this.Based on the complaint in the police station take the complaint number put in your divorce pettition and move forward for divorce if you are not ready for reuninon at any cost and she is not ready for giving MCD at any cost.This approach will solve your fearness from your wife false threatning and false cases by her in future.

"Simply watching a Dog's day to come is better to make a cat's day at earliest".


regards,

A sufferer..



Total likes : 1 times

 
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Thank you Sufferer and Mr. Arora. I think if I file for a divorce 1st it will give her a chance to ask for heavy maintenance and lodge false cases as well. After I leave for abroad if she asks for maintenance can I ask her to stay at my hometown - as ideally after marriage that's her house as well and I do not have any other house of my own. But I'm sure she will not agree to that. Can I tell her that I can't give any maintenance, my family is there to support her and when she says no I say no maintenance?

Basically this will show that I'm there to support her in an appropriate way but she doesnot want to live in husband's house. Is this a good approach?

 
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Social activist and ESIS Legal Consultant (everysufferer isasaviour@gmail.com)

see don't be over smart in the eye of law,as you want both-----------don't want to take wife and even don't want to pay her.


If you are fear of her false cases then go and take her and lick her feet like a puppy.


Now come to the concerns:


1. She can file anything but you are not bound to give everything......(it's matter of proof)


2. She has every right to file any cases at any time but again you are not bound to be accused at every step...(again it's matter of proof by her)


Suggestions:


1. If you have decided what to do then don't ask query what to do?


2. If you have no lawyer then without any delay hire an efficient lawyer to discuss your all problems and solutions.


3. Make your self as a Fighter not a freighter when you have married in India.


4.Ignore this post of my if you have no courage to fight with your own ill wife and ill-in laws bcz later when you will move to abroad your parents will be facing the absurd music by their DIL.

 

Last Reply !

 
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