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leo84 (sergswer)     13 June 2011

How to proceed legally

Kindly suggest, how we should proceed legally.

My cousin is married 6 months back and was staying with their parents.There were no issues betwwen them.
Once or twice after marriage my cousins wife was suggesting to live seperately leaving behind the inlaws. How ever, My cousin rejected. Infact, she was not serious and there was no immediate reaction from her and was prettly normal.

Infact, there was no problem from their inlaws and she was indeed happy too..

HOw ever, my cousins wife started behaving strange after 3 months of married life..
one day she started quarreling with my cousin and left to office. How ever, when she returned back from office my cousing parents talked to her and she was pretty normal then. She did the same thing very next morning and started screaming with their inlaws. And wanted to go back to their house.

How ever, My cousin convinced her to stay untill their parents turn up. When my cousin tried contacting the girls father, he was reluctant and said he was busy and will not come
and asked my cousin to drop at their home. How ever, my cousin rejected. But the girl didnt even stop and went away on her own with in minutes to her home. When my cousin tried contacting her she didnt even respond.

She turned back with in next 2 hours with all her relatives and parents, including his father, who claimed to be busy when contacted and started yelling in front of their house. Her father and some of the relatives tried to manhandle my cousin & his father threatened to kill my cousin. How ever, there complaint was that they were not giving her food. The most stupid thing is they were not ready to discuss and talk but started yelling from the streets.

and even the girl was behaving awkwardly by shouting from the road and stuff...Her father then took her back along with her clothes and stuff after an hours drama in the street...

After the incident, it is almost 3 months, there were no contacts between both the families. Now, the girls parents started rumours with in our society that they were harrasing the girl. How ever, they never volunteered to come and discuss the problem with my cousins family.

My cousins family is completely sad after this high drama as they never expected the girl to behave in this manner with out any reason or problem.

Now that the girls father started rumours against my cousins family that they were harrasing the girl. Currently they are unsure of what should be the next course of action.

Also, the girls father took turns to go to one of my cousins supervisor and informed him that my cousin was harrasing her.. Now, they started spreading this rumours to every one.. How ever, My cousin's family is well known and very much respected in the society..

Now, they are unsure about the next steps. Looking at his deeds they are worried whether they might go ahead and file a harrasement or dowry case against the entire family.. Please guide on how to proceed.

whether my cousin should file a complaint with the local police or take an anticipatory bail, as he is a govt employee.. Now that none of my cousins family is convinced with the girl..Or suggest ways to get rid of the girl and her family.. They are worried about their evil dreams

Thanks!! 



Learning

 11 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     13 June 2011

@ Author 


From your side donot launch case(s) against girl side as the marriage is too young to break apart on such matters. Suggested to follow below steps;

1. Write a simple 'information' application to local police station stating ‘on trivial matrimonial matters my wife left to her matrimonial home taking all her belongings including stridhan if any in good condition and kindly help you to bring her back to matrimonial home state her domicile address in the application further do not give any allegations and other issues in the application and take receiving with stamp and signature from receiving desk.  


2.
Ask your cousin to regularly send to her domicile address a hand written Money Order with 2-3 lines of love and affection mentioned in the message space and take Xerox of Form and receipt.


3
. Ask your cousin to tell all his office colleagues that something fishy in his marital life going on and hence do not talk to my in - laws if they approach anyone in office otherwise they may include you all too in some dowry cases ! This will scare them to talk to your in-laws.


4.
Keep neutral communication channel open for next 6 months and collect evidences of her education and or job if any and other behaviour feedbacks from her side's friend and men and agents.


Encourage her and her side to approach your side with a solution and discuss the same neutrally and act accordingly.

Next time if they create a scene on the streets infronto f yoru home call 100 no. and till PCR comes donot come out of home to make spade a spade with them.

Right now nothing legally could be done other than safeguarding your and your side of family first. Social prestige is a facade Indian Men strangely hide behind as if there is no social prestige for a girl and her side !. When girl side family omitt their social prestige then what stops Indian men to still hide behind their social prestige as said in yoru brief ?


Come out of your 16th. Century mindset.


Today every third metro home there is a daughter in law vis-a-vis mother in law vis-a-vis husband problem going on, some issues come out and land in courts some stay hidden till police arrives at morning hours and then your self acquired social prestige takes a wake up call and you come here crying when the solution was within you if you would have thought about it in the first instance.
Illustration:
A. What shall you do if your wife is kidnaped in broad daylight?
Won't you go to PS to report. That is what you failed to do.
B. What shall you do if in laws interference in marital life?
Won't you fix the issue by setting a panchayat first and if fails then approach a civil court and take restraiiing Order against in laws. That is what you failed to do. 
C.  What shall you do when wife leaves for matrimonial home and has no source of income?
Won't you send her money for her upkeep till she sees sense of the situation. That is what you failed to do.
So on so forth..... a social prestige person thinks also like this.....That is what you people who claim in forums to be social failed to do when real situation comes.

1 Like

(Guest)

@Leo,

 

My non-legal thoughts ,

 

Next time if something like this happens, You may also do video recording on your camera for later use. The moment you start it and see all other people vanishes in a minute.
 

leo84 (sergswer)     13 June 2011

 

Great thanks for all your replies.. Infact, My cousin is depressed and looking at the chaos and the humilitaion his wife has given, now he is in no mood to accept her..

Infact, he was grieved with the situation which she(wife) made tat too on his birth day eve as well as a planned Holiday the very next day..They were supposed to travel for a vaccation the very next day...

Also, now the entire family is worried to accept her.. As she might create similar kind of trouble once she is back.. Then she might even try create a drama of suicide and try blame the entire family...Her father might jump along with the entire drama troupe on to the streets...

The girl was  12 pass out and wasnt really interested in studies. She was working in a small firm for 4k.. How ever, my cousins family are aware of these and they left the choice of going to office to her.. My cousins wife expressed interest to go to office and my cousin never obligied for it.. Infact, she didnt even give a penny of what she earned rather my cousin used to give her for expenses and all her requirements...My cousins family were never bothered about her earnings..

Infact, my cousin is completely upset with her as she was trying to get a rod from inside the house and was offering to her relative to hit him...Above all she is no way sad nor even spilt a drop of water from her eyes.. They tried cornering my cousin as he was alone along with his parents.. and to this his wife was offerring the rods, as well started abusing her Mother in law.. really shameful ....She never felt that she is on the streets and tat she is trying to humilate her husband...

All the neighbours were really surprised with the girl and their relatives/parents behavior..Infact, my cousins family is completely ashamed of walking in the streets because of the nuisence which the girls family has created..tat too for no wrong of them..They were completely down with this act..

The girls father is little greedy about money.. We are sensing that they might have enancted this street play having some evil dreams.. We are not sure how the girls family could organize a group of 10 , realtives with in no time, and many were office goers.. It looks like it is pre planned..

At first my cousins family was completely impressed with the girl, there were no complaints from both the sides..Untill the day she came up with the entire street drama, they never sensed tat she is so evil..

Now after the entire act the girls side dont have any mediations.. The old people who mediated between both the families before the marriage were part of the street drama... they just believed the oldies and bought this entire trouble..

Infact, now as they start spreading this rumours, people are turning down to my cousins place to ask what has happened..As my cousins family is well know and respected in the society none of the people are reling on what they have heard...How ever, when they hit the court of law or police , the harrasement to my cousins family will start...

Now, that my cousins family is unaware of what the girls family would do, as they started spreading rumours and then approached the supervisor in his office.. They might even go with police and stuff... Infact, they are also worried that the girls family has created such a rucsucs where there were no problems,Also, they were open if they had some misunderstandings which can dealt with discussion with in the house... bt never expected the street chaos..

Please suggest accordingly..
 

leo84 (sergswer)     13 June 2011

Typo::: My cousin obligied for her decision to go to office...

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     13 June 2011

A very sensible and practical advice given by Tajobs sir ...... Please follow it. I hope it works if it has to & if not then don't worry, you could not have done anything better than this. The other advice of recording them also is a good idea.

RahRamJosh (Software Consultant)     14 June 2011

@leo84

Take advise from  Mr TAJOB INDIA SIR..........

He gives very basic and logical questions to all the threads in which he posts.

A very practical man with immense knowledge of social engineering.....and Phd in women biased law aimed at harrassing INNOCENT MEN and their FAMILY !

 

leo84 (sergswer)     14 June 2011

Thanks all for your replies.. How ever, we are astonished to see the entire girls family making nuisecne on the road.. It would have been a better idea to capture the stuff inside a video.. How ever, we never thought they are so downtrodden and dumb to behave in a shabby manner.. We did not expect these acts as there was nothing wrong from our side..

Infact, if we have really done something wrong, even my cousins might have prepared well & might have even intimate police well in advance.. It was almost a  plot from the girls family to bury our image in the society and succeed in their evil ideas with which they have got in to this wedlock.. They almost behaved like hired goons and more trained to do such acts.. Even a professional hired to do such acts might not act so good..

Now, if we step and try to please, they might ride on to us...and even it might send wrong signals that we might have really harrased and so on.....

It was stupid and a humilating act from the girls family and looking at this, we can imagine that they might venture to any extent and would do any thing..

How can they send money or send grettings to here when the girls family took oath to kill my cousin and also threatened with dire consequences once he steps out of his house and would see his end once he steps out of the house.....

When these kind of insults and agony was given.. we can expect that the girls family will not feel and can drop down to any extent..

Please suggest whether or not we can get an anticipatory bail or stuff to avoid any untoward incidients happening.. We all know how police behaves and once they know they are targetting a respectable and settled class, they will start there own ways of extracting money....

My cousin has formally given  a written complaint in a white paper to the local PS. it was signed with date by the concerned officials.. How ever,  NO FIR was lodged.. My cousins family just kept it as  an measure..

Please advice, whether the Girls family lodges a complaint ... Will the police arrest My cousins family or will the complaint lodged by my cousins safeguard them agains the arrest... Or can they go for an anticipatory bail , just to avoid untoward incidents...

Please advice accordingly....thanks!

 

leo84 (sergswer)     15 June 2011

Mr. TAJobs... Thanks for your advice.. Lately, they agained visited my cousins supervisor. this time, the girls mother,father along with the girl visited and narrated that My cousin has harrased and they sent them out of the house.. At first, the girls father has visited alone along with his friend.. now all the three visited..

We are not sure why the hell he is doing all the chaos.. If he was really interested in good deeds, he would have ventured in to a discussions directly with my cousin's family or mediated with some one else.... but never did that..

Infact, we are worried that these things might affect my cousin at work.. As the supervisors whom they meet hold very big positions, my cousin cant refrain them & infact cant speak any thing ..as he works in a Govt Organisation.. Lately, we heard from sources that after the girls family visited him, the supervisor was indeed looking at my cousins history at work..Infact, My cousin is been awarded the best employee and he is very hard wrkg and recognized.. Infact, we cant leave behind the fact that at times the supervisors might create unnecessary situations at work by intervening in to the issue.. How ever, at first when my cousin met his supervisor he told him that this is his personal issue and will be dealt with his family members... how ever , little curious after the second visit, that his supervisor is digging in to his work records and stuff...

There should be a clear demarcation between personal and professional life.. How ever, we cant dictate people who sit in higher positions and do things against subordinates.. This is one more mess with my cousin..

Also, the girls family have registered a complaint about harrasement wtih an NGO organisation.. They have called my cousin to come and meet them.. Infact, he did..

Mr. TA jobs could you please guide us what we should do now.. and to wat extent the girls family willl harm my cousins.. Infact, the girls family never visited nor mediated with any one else after the incidient.. And they just barged on to the streets with the girl on that day..they never spoke with my cousins family to know what has happened or wat was the issue.. but did all the chaos on the streets..

Even though, there is some thing wrong, A wise man should first sit and discuss.. which was lagging from the girls family.. Unnecessary problems have been whirled around my cousins family....

Looking at these.. we can guage what the family is all about.. Please guide us..

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     15 June 2011

 

@ Leo 84

My observation to your bald messages here is that your first post was made on 13th. June a/n and abov. last post is made in gap of just 1 day where after giving para [3. Ask your cousin to tell all his office colleagues that something fishy in his marital life going on and hence do not talk to my in - laws if they approach anyone in office otherwise they may include you all too in some dowry cases!] This will scare them to talk to your in-laws.] as advise it was not followed.


Against above backdrop I now suggest to read my last 100 posts you will get all the strategies / gyan / what nots and act if liked accordingly.

Legal remedy is restricted in your messages as if remedy are given and not followed in a day or two and still crying then I can’t take you to the well to satisfy your bald thirsts.

I leave this thread let others guide you. 

leo84 (sergswer)     15 June 2011

Thanks for the reply mr.Ta jobs. I would like to inform you that My cousin cannot instruct people not to get in to discussions with the girls family.. Also, he works in a different place and the supervisors are posted in a different place. My cousin will not visit the place unless untill they are summoned to come and meet.. Here the Prob is the supervisors are all Clas 1 officers equivalent to IAS.. He cannot go and visit them at his will unless untill they call him...

The pathetic and the sadest era is we cannot reply back to these chaps and the girls family are approaching them... Every thing will be in these officers hands... They head 40-50 K people..

And they have approached the same guy(The Officer) twice.. Infact, during the first encounter My cousin revelaed that it is his personal matter and will be dealt outside with the families concerned.. What else can he say to his officer.. He cannot be rude with him..  Hope you understand the situation...

Now, do you still think this is bald thirst? How ever, we are going through the posts and now we can only sit with fingers crossed..

leo84 (sergswer)     17 June 2011

Hi all, there is a new development.. Just after my cousins met the cousellor which was trigerred from the girls end.. They got a call from the councellor ( an NGO organisation) that the girls family are needing the stridhan and asked whether or not we are willing to give.. We expressed our willingness...

How ever, I would like to get your expert opinion whether or not should we give this(from legal view).. If so, do we need to take some written consent from the girls father mother and the girl ? Do we need some one else for witness ?

Should this be on a stamp paper or a normal white paper..

We are curious, whether they will play trick saying they havent received any after taking them.. May be after some time..

Currently, this was intiated by the NGO organisation which the girls family approached.. Is it wise to go with the NGO organisations to hand over the requested stuff ?

Please help me with this situation..

Mr.TA jobs, your thought might be helpful here...


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