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(Guest)

How to get divorce from my wife without maintenance

I'm a 30 yrs old and married in Mysore on 24-Feb-2010 and currently residing in bangalore. We both are software engineers working in
different reputed MNCs.
This was a Hindu arranged marriage
with the consent of the bride and groom.
Due to my tight work schedule I couldnt spend much time knowing my wife before our marriage.
However, It was quickly evident from her behaviour and talks that we both lack heavily in compatibility.
Right after the marriage the same day in a fit of anger she asked me to file a divorce. Thats just an example of
how angry as a person she is.
I've been experiencing mental torture everyday spending my time after work arguing and fighting with her.
She had a laid few conditions before marriage i.e
 a) her widow mother to be allowed to stay with us after wedding.
  -- I rented a separate house(leavin my parents) as my current house would have been small to accomodate
 b) she should be allowed to choose any profession
  -- agreed
 c) no dowry
  -- not a single rupee as dowry. in fact asked to have a simple ritual at a temple

I agreed to all the above as she seemed to meet both mine and my families expectations in terms of behaviour and talks. 
Now, after marriage
 -- she is insisting me to let her give money to her elder sister(married)
 -- trying to distance me from my parents by not letting me meet my parents
 -- dont provide proper cooked food neither her mom or she
 -- lot of arguments and unnecessary quarrels

-- she is very very short tempered
 -- never lets me focus at my work, she calls me atleast 20-30 times a day inspite of requesting her not to do
 
My reaction to above
 -- i've become assertive and staying with my parents in the same city in a different home
 -- identified the root of the problem and asked her mother to leave to her native. They have some property in their native and a home.
 -- asked her to manage all household monthly expenses using her salary and the rest of the family financial plannin shall be taken bourne by me.
 
My above reactions to the problem has only added more fights and arguments in my life.
but am hell bent, and i dont want to stay away from my parents anymore.
I want to take care of them even if it costs my marriage.
My parents have been very good and kind to her which she and her mom too acknowledge.

I've reached to a decision and i dont want to continue with this marriage and suffer everyday.
My wife is not willing to divorce me or for any mutual consent.

Please help me and advice how to get out of this marriage asap.
I'm going mad each day. My life was lot more peaceful before marriage.
my parents too are very sad about my fate.I'm a 30 yrs old and married in Mysore on 24-Feb-2010 and currently residing in bangalore. We both are software engineers working in different reputed MNCs. This was a Hindu arranged marriage with the consent of the bride and groom. Due to my tight work schedule I couldnt spend much time knowing my wife before our marriage. However, It was quickly evident from her behaviour and talks that we both lack heavily in compatibility. Right after the marriage the same day in a fit of anger she asked me to file a divorce. Thats just an example of how angry as a person she is. I've been experiencing mental torture everyday spending my time after work arguing and fighting with her. She had a laid few conditions before marriage i.e a) her widow mother to be allowed to stay with us after wedding. -- I rented a separate house(leavin my parents) as my current house would have been small to accomodate b) she should be allowed to choose any profession -- agreed c) no dowry -- not a single rupee as dowry. in fact asked to have a simple ritual at a temple I agreed to all the above as she seemed to meet both mine and my families expectations in terms of behaviour and talks. Now, after marriage -- she is insisting me to let her give money to her elder sister(married) -- trying to distance me from my parents by not letting me meet my parents -- dont provide proper cooked food neither her mom or she -- lot of arguments and unnecessary quarrels -- never lets me focus at my work, she calls me atleast 20-30 times a day inspite of requesting her not to do My reaction to above -- i've become assertive and staying with my parents in the same city in a different home -- identified the root of the problem and asked her mother to leave to her native. They have some property in their native and a home. -- asked her to manage all household monthly expenses using her salary and the rest of the family financial plannin shall be taken bourne by me. My above reactions to the problem has only added more fights and arguments in my life. but am hell bent, and i dont want to stay away from my parents anymore. I want to take care of them even if it costs my marriage. My parents have been very good and kind to her which she and her mom too acknowledge. I've reached to a decision and i dont want to continue with this marriage and suffer everyday. My wife is not willing to divorce me or for any mutual consent. Please help me and advice how to get out of this marriage asap. I'm going mad each day. My life was lot more peaceful before marriage. my parents too are very sad about my fate.



Learning

 13 Replies


(Guest)

Hire a good advocate. Check the allegations made by your wife and counter blasts with cases.

Kiran (Consultant)     05 May 2010

You have to atleast wait for one year after marriage in order to file a divorce case in the court. In your case you do not have any material grounds for divorce which you can prove in the court. These kind of things will be considered as 'Petty quarrels'/ 'Ordinary wear and tear of family life' by the court and u will be ultimately denied divorce.

Try to talk to your wife and see if she can change her attitude and lead a proper life. If she is not willing to change try to convince her for mutual consent of divorce. If that too didn't work then my suggestion is not to file divorce until there is a continuous period of dessertion ( seperation ) for 2 years. Then you will atleast have 'Dessertion Clause' to fight for divorce.

Meanwhile she can file False Domestic Voilence/ 498-A cases against you and your family memebers. So take precautionary measures before hand..

All the best..

1 Like

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     05 May 2010

Can prove that your wife is well off with her income.. then no need to give maintenance

2 Like

unique horn (self)     05 May 2010

No provision in law to get divorce within 1 year of marriage, also it request 6 month period of living separate before considering divorce. You have lot of  time to think about divorce, so please sit and talk the misunderstandings and try to get it right. Hope you will...


(Guest)

1. Folks with odd hours of working and/or having different temparaments are bound to fall trap unknowingly to your type of most common problems currently in urban society. Infact harshley said then you are in most vulnerable situation due to DINKY lifestyle and if you raise your tentacles and read local media reports then probably you may like to follow para 2 suggestion to give it a try for next 6 months to see if it still may work honestly between you two.
2. Attend jointly counceling sessons of a professional Marriage Counselor by balancing your job and family equally/responsibly.
All the best.
Rgds.

 

1 Like

(Guest)

Thank you all for your inputs. Will contemplate on the same.

1 Like

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     11 May 2010

Good to contemplate as you can not have cacke in your hands and eat it too, that is divorce without maintenance.

1 Like

(Guest)

both of U NEED COUNSELLING not divorce

1 Like

Nandha (NIL)     19 March 2011

I also face the same problem with my wife. We got married in sept'2009 and have a child now.

For the last six months I am living with my parents here. My lawyer also advised 'desertion'? Wait for 2 years and you will find a way.

rajiv (helper)     16 July 2013

sir my wife files againts me & my family 498a in police station . she files also againts me 125 crpc act for maintence in trail court i want to divorce with my wife without maintence pls help me

rohan (cse)     16 July 2013

Hi, I arrangely married in jan. 2012,  the salary of my wife is more than what I am earning, everything was before marriage but neither wife nor her parents objected on this point though there was hardly any communication between my and her parents, so finally we married without a single peny . Since the financial condition of my wife's paremnts was not sound, my wife was taking care of her brother's livelihood and education which we agreed. After marrigae there were some adjustment problems to wife. She insisted for a bigger house but in Delhi I found it not easy to search a house which is within budget alongwith some savings for future but she was of the belief that present should be good without taking care of future. So me and my wife shifted to a bigger house leaving the parents behind. But still the problem was there because i used to readch home after 9 pm as the house was far from my office which resulted in arguements between both of us on daiy basis..  But after 4-5 months when she she was expected then she realised that parents should be near to take care then we shifted again with parents. Now giving birth to a baby girl I left her with her parents as she wanted to go there and because extra care can be given. 1 month back I came to know that apart frm her brother's educaiton she was also repaying loan of her father which resulted in hatered for me and  now she is not ready to come back to our house. Moreover her parents are also aganst sending her back with us though my wife is ready to live with me seperately. Please advice as what should be done, I need to have divorce.

Rajesh (Engineer)     01 August 2014

Hi,

 

I got married last year. We stayed together only for 12 days. After that i flew back to US. Its been now 8 months. My wife denied to come with me. and now have put harassment, dowry etc etc case on me and family and seeking maintenaince. This is absolutely unfair to give such people any money. Can please someone help me

sunil (sales)     06 May 2015

hi, i my self married with a banglore girl in dec 2012 and she went for delivery in 5th month  after that she born a baby and i went to see the baby and wife after 3 months and iasked her parents when u r sending u r daughter to my house they said in 5th month we will drop her but still 2 years gone they are not sent and also no response from my wife also i contacted several times to them and also went to after 1 year to her home but she is not at home her parents said she went to work and i asked them you are sending u r daughter  or not they said no i told them i am staying in lodge i will wait for her to meet i said bring u r daughter and talk to me her intrest i am staying with my parents they are old they are thinking that wife should care of house and me they are bother about my life why it hapen like that, we are haveing no problem still if she wants to come otherwise i cant wait more because my life is spoiling give me advice if she dont want to come how can i take the divorce and i want to know her reaction of her parents.

 


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