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S M SHARMA (RETIRED)     05 December 2011

Harassment to my daughter

 

This is regarding harassment to my daughter. Her problem started after birth of her daughter in  2009.

After this, her inlaws  started harassing my daughter. First they stopped her mobile phone so that she can not talk to us freely. She was allowed to talk  to us only on their common phone. Her mother in law always keeps watch on what my daughter is taking to us.

Her in laws started verbal emotional abuses to her. Her Father-in-law, Mother-in-law and her husband joined together to frequently insult her on one plea or the other. She was alone to bear all this.

My son- in-law stopped coming to our house after this. He never comes to our house to take my daughter back whenever she comes to us. She her self has to come to our house and go to in-laws house.

Her major problem started after this. For the last eleven months my daughter came four times (on various festivals) to our house but she was not allowed to take her daughter with her. They often tell her to “go to your parents house, we do not want you” but they will not send her  baby with her.

Her mother in law has kept my daughter’s entire jewellary (both from our side and their side jewellary) in her custody. 

My daughter became a KAMWALI BAI in her in laws house and tolerating emotional and verbal abuses, humiliation etc. because my daughter’s weakness is her attachment to her baby. My daughter’s baby is only 2 years old.

I am interested to save my daughter’s married life. I will be thankful to you if you kindly guide me for the steps to be taken under these circumstances.

 



Learning

 16 Replies

Zeeshan (Hidden)     05 December 2011


(Guest)

@Author,

 

You do not need advise from legal point, you need advise from normal human point of view. Talk to your Son In Law and Inlaws and find out what the problem is.

 

There can not be smoke without fire.

 


 

1 Like

Self service (None)     05 December 2011

Most of problems you are saying your daughter should be able to solve herself, assuming she is not minor. Do not interfere, you looks over reactive and end up in spoiling your daughter's life. Better let her solve issue herself or use some mediator...None of problem you narrated is serious for legal help.

1 Like

Self service (None)     05 December 2011

Also do not use word harrassement, this normal huma behaviour where ever 4 people live in house some kind of difference happen. But looking your over reaction and reacting on daughters internal family issue I am sure you will end up in mess.

Your problems are also feminine kind ..Do you want to keep her jewellary correct? If your daughter wants she can ask jewellary. I am sure all these things came from your daughter if she keeps passing on such information to you and you react on such issue then none can help. Also what kind of freely you want to speak to your daughter if your daughter is making calls and speak against them tahts what you are expecting? As you said daughter visitied 4 times in 11 months is this normal? Generally married woman goes 1 - 2 times in year so doen't look your daughter has any restections.

2 Like

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     05 December 2011

i wonder why my in-laws did not post the same question at LCI !!!


i m facing the same complaints from my in - laws.

 

Aishwarya (Teacher)     05 December 2011

 

Sir.

Its best to talk out the whole matter , with both the sides along with some more relatives who can take the issue in positive direction and can resolve to have peaceful talks .

.You have to first make ur daughter be emotionally strong and be confident not to fear anything or anyone no matter what..Its she who has to take the lead in the whole matter..I would advise u to take a lil backfoot if ur discussing her problems.., let someone else say for all this..as the other side may blow out hearing all that stuff either from u ..

If possible tell ur daughter and son in law to talk about all this first,.as its common that  he may notdiffer from his parents view..but initial steps are meant to be taken by ur daughter only ..If ur keen to save her marriage then she must do all she can to save it rather than u doing it for her..

Not to worry as this happens jewellery isues, and doing all the household chores..What u can speak about rightfully is ACCEPTING the girl child with no issues..this they should accept along with ur daughter..You can convey that your daughter shall adjust but even thye should give her space and acceptance . 

Things are not that bad and can be controlled, give you daughter the lead. ..

1 Like

cm jain sir (ccc)     05 December 2011

@author

1)First you should try to findout why you SIL is not coming to your house. If your behaviour or giving respect is not up to the mark then he will not come. Thats a common thing.

2)Mobile is taken- Your daughter may be telling you the small small things/complaint of her house. You may be misguiding your daughter as per them so they had taken this. whats the problem if she phones you in the presence of other members in the house. 

3)You may be interfering in their home affairs through your daughter so they want to control it.

4) Now these days if a qualified girl works in house then they thinks that she is a Kammwali bai. You already married her in a joint family setup then if she will not do the house work then are you expecting that her MIL do all the work.

If you want to save the marriage then you pls advice your daughter that by doing house work she is not a kamwali bai. She has a beautiful daughter and she should concentrate on her family as well as daughter. you may also requst them to visit your house. one day definetely they will appreciate you approach.

The reply given above may look harsh but pls save the marriage otherwise it will give more trouble to both the families.

1 Like

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     06 December 2011

The best way is to talk directly.

 

As of now, it is a social problem, unless there is a drastic harassment, you should not make it a legal issue.

 

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

**Victim** (job)     06 December 2011

This is a very common problem i personally had listened my mother in law blowing my wife's ears and teaching her all bad stuff. One day i heard my mother in law teaching my wife that get a baby and then once she gets a baby just come over and then your husband has to pay maintenance. I don't blame husbands family as truly mentioned by expert there cannot be smoke without fire.

 

@ Author why do you want to control things i don't see any harassment here these are small patty stuff which can be resolved within family.

**Victim** (job)     06 December 2011

My son- in-law stopped coming to our house after this. He never comes to our house to take my daughter back whenever she comes to us. She her self has to come to our house and go to in-laws house.

**Victim** (job)     06 December 2011

My son- in-law stopped coming to our house after this. He never comes to our house to take my daughter back whenever she comes to us. She her self has to come to our house and go to in-laws house.

 

@ Author if your son in law is not coming to your house then you should drop your daughter to her inlaws house and then can also see your grandchildren. It clearly reflects from your post that once your daughter comes with your grandson or granddaughter next would be the legal step itself and her inlaws don't want this to happen this is the main reason they are not allowing your daughter to visit your house with your grandson or granddaughter.  But once again there could be some mistakes from her inlaws as well. They cannot abuse or insult your daughter just like that and such issues should be resolved within family legal step is definately not an option.

Zeeshan (Hidden)     06 December 2011

Originally posted by :S M SHARMA
"

First they stopped her mobile phone so that she can not talk to us freely. She was allowed to talk  to us only on their common phone. Her mother in law always keeps watch on what my daughter is taking to us.What secret you want ?



Her in laws started verbal emotional abuses to her. Her Father-in-law, Mother-in-law and her husband joined together to frequently insult her on one plea or the other. She was alone to bear all this.

Did she ever told what missbehave your daughter done with her in-laws ? Did you ever ask your Son in Law the reason ?

 

My son- in-law stopped coming to our house after this. He never comes to our house to take my daughter back whenever she comes to us. She her self has to come to our house and go to in-laws house.

Why ? There may be some reason.  Is he mentally retarded ?

 

Her major problem started after this. For the last eleven months my daughter came four times (on various festivals) to our house.

If they are cruel why they send her even for 4 times ? This mean they donot want there DIL to leave her family..

 

but she was not allowed to take her daughter with her.

Means here girl child is not a issue. I think they did right. Most of the scene started by DIL was  after the birth of child. After taking kid . Hence Blackmailing....

 

They often tell her to “go to your parents house, we do not want you” but they will not send her  baby with her.

Who told you this ? Why do you believe her ? If they donot want her then why you do they keep her ?

 

Her mother in law has kept my daughter’s entire jewellary (both from our side and their side jewellary) in her custody. 

Regurlar blaim taught by unscrupulous advocate.

 

My daughter became a KAMWALI BAI in her in laws house and tolerating emotional and verbal abuses, humiliation etc.

How do you know ? Your daughter told you ?

 

because my daughter’s weakness is her attachment to her baby. My daughter’s baby is only 2 years old.

Daughter is also the weekness of father.... Isn't this ???

 

I am interested to save my daughter’s married life. I will be thankful to you if you kindly guide me for the steps to be taken under these circumstances.

 If really,  then just try, Scold your daughter not to sing her in-laws aggravation and also sometime listen to your son-in-law's problem also what wrong your daughter did. Remember nobody is perfect.

"

 

 

I donot write anything in the begining as I do not want to start controversy. 

I think your daughter's in-laws are role model for us. May be they previously suffer by 498a/dv etc. due to these type of telltale daughter in laws.

Sorry but I don't find a better word.

 

I donot find a person in my whole life who tell his/her ill-doings herself..................

 

3 Like

chandra mohan (power)     06 December 2011

Almost 80% of the complaint is matching with my case and now facing 498a and other cases. As Zeeshan and Anonomouus told that its all common complaint which DIL tells. I dont have any answer as all the people here already explained the real issues.

Til ka Taad aur Rai ka Pahad mat banaiye shrma ji nhi to Hus Wife dono ki jindagi barbaad ho jati hai!!!!

raj malhotra (M.D)     06 December 2011

all problem is in your and your daughters thinking mr.sharma...let them live their life...dont interfere if u want ur daughter to be happy...ur support is making her ego more strong and ur ego is already strong..thanks to 498a and domestic violence act...everthing is in ur hands..handle it properly...rightly advised by all members here..follow it..


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