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san   11 May 2016

Filled a case on my husband to live with me and my baby

My husband avoiding me and my baby from past 1.6years, due to girl baby born. Left that baby in hospital bed alone & went with their parents. At that time i was in ICU. He is fully surrender on his parents hand. His parents telling me directly, soon give me divorce, we are planning to take a girl with 100 sovereigns. He plan to put divorce case. Before that i filled a case to live with me(Contigous rights for me and my baby). He planning to travel to abroad within 6 months and planning to do second marraige.

Tomorrow is first hearing
My questions are,
If he not appear on tomorrow means, what will happen?
If he appear means, how many number of counsellings will be?
If he not satisfy in counselling means, what may be the next step court will order him?
I not interest to give divorce, he & his parents eager to get dicorce. what will happen at this situation?



Learning

 13 Replies


(Guest)

Mam please engage an able counsel/advocate. 

Rit Arora

Advocate 7838737001

san   11 May 2016


Shall i know, how many number of mediation/counselings will be?
Clarification - If he accept to talk we both, whether i need to close the case immediately or shall i ask 6 months or 1 year to close the case. I have doubt after withdraw case, he left we both again. For safety purpose i'm asking this. Any possibilities available to get time span.

JustAdvisor (IT)     11 May 2016

do you want to stay with a guy who has so low respect for women that he left both of you just because a baby girl was born (assuming your story is true)? engage an able counsel as advised.

san   13 May 2016

Yesterday Both attended First hearing, and I have put a petition for maintenance for legal expenses with him.
In counselling, he is not open his mouth for a single word. He said with counsellor, she only put petition so you ask with her, what happen dont ask me. Counsellor saw baby photo, and asked with me whether he saw this baby? I replied NO. Counsellor said, dont show this cute baby photo until he come back to see baby. At that time also, he not ask to see photo.

Finally, he telling that my parents only important for me until end. Then counsellor said, bring your parents on next hearing. He replied at that time itself, i wont allow my mom to foot step inside court. She is precisious for me. He is fully on their hand.

Now i thinking fully about my kid life. In birth certificate she having father name. After that in school, & other certificate she not have means, she will wound i feelings why i alone father not having. Moreover if i remarry for my baby life means, whether other person take care my baby & my baby will become wound because for no original father...

My only point is my baby want to be safe, If i not, in this world means no person is there to take care of my kid. So she is important for me.

 

 

A walk alone (-)     14 May 2016

I can't understand why you are running to that person who doesn't care you and your baby. Life is a gift of god. Truthfully speaking once family issue comes in court only divorce happen. No counsellor or judge can force him to life with you. If you are not interested in divorce then be bold and contest his divorce. As no one can force him to life with you same no one can force you to divorce. Instead of thinking counselling focus on strong points of your and focus to fight divorce case. In court also he has to prove his allegations. Without proving he can't get divorce. If by money or anything he got win then you can appeal in higher court. Without divorce if he married then first gather evidence then file case on him of bigamy. So sister instead of being weak be strong. Many children brought up by their mom only. You are her mom you can brought up. You can play role of her father also.its not easy I know but not impossible. She is your child it's your duty if her father is not talking her responsibility then you should be strong to take her responsibility alone. Be bold and take her responsibility as mother and father both.

san   17 May 2016

Your right. Actually counselling is need for me only, how to live husband with bold. Still now i only taking care of my baby, as a mother and father. But also someside heart searching him, whether he will come to live with baby.

He not having care on we both. Always giving importance for their parents. But in other hand, he tell before a month with his close friend itself, still i love my wife and have eager to see baby atleast in photos & moreover he brought some play kits and toys for kid. How i can judge this? I saw his chat msg. I can understand that in his heart, there having a place for me and baby, but he is full of his parents control. I dont know how long his parents will control him?

But first i not goto court. His dad only start a talk of divorce. He tried to put a divorce case by false alleigation, before that i put to live together. I love him that much, that's why he not ready to understand my love and need & telling we both dont want. With counsellor itself he telling that, i cant able to take this issue until 60 years. So we complete this. If they ask a solution means, he was silent.

Let me give your suggestion please....

Dana Kayoni (Expert Humanitarian and Lawyer)     17 May 2016

Regular format which girls and her parents need to follow:

1.  Marry, go stay with husband wherever he is, adjust.

2.  Parents of girl need to keep abay and not interfere in husband and wife family life.

 

In your case even after baby born, husband not ready to cohabit?  It shows severe interference from your parents or lack of trust between you both, or you not adjusting with his family.

 

Marriage calls for adjustment, if that is not there, nobody can do anything to save marriage.  Take divorce and be happy.

san   17 May 2016

I adjusted more and more with him. That's why i can able to be with him until my pregenancy. After he left me in house 10 days, he was fine.. After that only their parents create problem and take him from me totally. I ready to adjust for him. If he pick we both and take care of we both means ok. One day he telling dont want girl baby. One day he buying a toys. Which is true??

But always telling parents only important until end. I cant able to leave my parents at any time. Their parents are living in native and he living in work location, distance kms will be more than 500.. He having 2 brothers with their family, they not taking his parents with them. Because they know very well, they will create problem in their family.

 

Born Fighter (xxx)     17 May 2016

From your version it seems all problems rest with your husband /inlaws. But just for a change do you think you have gone wrong anywhere ???? If answer is No then i think you should go for divorce as you are too good as a wife for ur husband who is all wrong !

 

Marriage means loads of adjustment/compromises. It seems evident that u have tried to take ur husband away from his parents....now when the husband is going away from his child u r concerned about the childs future as he needs a complete family. 

 

Please think and do some introspection if you can....u might get answers to ur problems.

 

Courts are meant for divorces, there is no room for reconciliation looking at ur husbands stand. The way he has behaved in counselling reveals he knows law and will be a tough nut to crack.

 

san   18 May 2016

Shall i know, how many number of counselling sections will provide?

Whether the counsellor will put an order to live together until next hearing or anything like that?

What will happen, after all round of counselling completes?

san   18 May 2016

Shall i know, how many number of counselling sections will provide?

Whether the counsellor will put an order to live together until next hearing or 6 months?

What will happen, after all round of counselling completes?

 

 

 

Born Fighter (xxx)     18 May 2016

You have not replied to my earlier revert..... anyways...what makes me to write back again is bcos i genuinely feel you should sincerely give ur marriage a second chance.

 

It appears to me......Ur husband came with his parents to the hospital after birth of the child to see his new born, which happened to be a Girl. May be u were already seperated from him. He could have avoided coming to the hospital after knowing the new born is a baby girl but still he visited. Ur own version says he had got toys/gifts for the baby girl and through his chat messages it appears he does care for the child/You. Now that things have gone to court ur alleging that ur husband did not want a girl and hence left you. And Even after knowing this u still want to go back to ur husband..................ur own thinking and ur actions are contradicting madam.....

 

Pick up any contested divorce case where the wife has a small daughter in custody after seperation, its a standard allegation that the husband did not want a girl child and hence reason for seperation. U went to the court first and claiming that u want to go back to ur husband.......again a contradiction

 

You may dislike my reply but let me tell you there are many wives who do all this ...thinking the husband will fall at their feet once you file a case and takeaway the child from him. But they realize it only towards the tail end of the contested case that their strategy has backfired and what seems inevitable is divorce.

 

Im sorry if i have hurted you but just wanted  to warn you that there is still time to reconcile. Looking at ur husbands stubborness ,Your counselling sessions will not go beyond min 3 sessions . He may also tell counsellor that he does not want any further counselling and then case will enter the court. Counsellors have no right to ask you to go back to ur husband. Please leave egos aside and do some introspection. Im not saying ur husband is right and ur wrong....all that i mean is perhaps u have stretched the matter too far n hurted ur husband too much. However if what i have narrated seems nonsense to you then i have already opined you should go for divorce.

1 Like

(Guest)

Once you have filed court case marriage is over. Sooner you realize this fact the better for you. If you go for mutual divorce now, you may be able to negotiate some alimony from husband and also have a chance at finding a new relationship where you can be happy. If you bang your head in courts many years will pass and same outcome will happen but with more bitterness, no alimony and no opportunity to find love somewhere else. The outcome is going to be same, it is your choice if you want to waste years in court or not. 


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