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disturbedman (mgr)     12 February 2010

Divorce with psycosis wife

I am a senior IT pro (40+) and my wife (34+) is a post-graduate house wife and ours was an arranged marriage for 10 yrs now having 7 yrs old son and 7 mo old daughter. There is a serious personality issue with my wife; very adamant, abnormal human behaviour - talks and murmurs self, curses others within self for no fault of theirs; does not like to go out even for provisional shopping; no social movement - even within the known circle such as close friends, relatives etc.  I've been observing this abnormal behaviour ever since i've married. Some how I've been patience enough to adjust my self to this and even attempted to change her behaviour through psychiatric counselling with no success. With her suspicious behaviour, irritates others and there have been many instances where she has gone wild and curel and even attempted to kill herself and myself and kids - kicking, scratches, fist fights etc.  Noticing danger to self and my family, took her to the well known psychiatrist and got her admitted into the mental hospital thhree times one week each time.  The doctros confirmed that she has mental imbalance which is a form of psychosis which can only be cured with medication alongwith the psycho therapy.

I was decieved at the time of arranged marraige and my in-laws probably know her behaviour already and did not take initiative to cure this abnormal behaviour before marriage - so mean parents who do not even know what their kids are upto !!!  Now that they are blaming me and my family for her behaviour.

I can not any longer reconcile with her and lead my life with this attitude and planning to file for a divorce petition on this ground.  I've tried to do it mutually discussing with my wife and being so adamant she does not want to take a divorce; but would expect to lead the life as is.

I could sense on the other hand that, my inlaws and even wife are preparing to frame a false 'harassment' case to drag me into legal and police matters.  Here are my questions:

a) how can I protect myself proactively in this scenario from any legal/police cases may be filed by my wife and inlawas

b)if i file for a divorce petition, could my inlaws and wife can still file a 'harassment' case ?

c) could i get possession of kids in my custody  on the cruel and psychosis behavious basis

d) as we are living together how do I do divorce ?  how long the process is going to take

appreciate any view and legal advise. pardon me for a lenghty descripttion of my situation.  hope i've made it clear.

thanks



Learning

 15 Replies

R.R. KRISHNAA (Legal Manager)     12 February 2010

If you anticipate that your wife/inlaws will file false cases against you, you can very well safeguard the proof of your wife's medical treatments(like doctor's certificate and the proof of the details of treatment taken by her) etc to show that she is mentally imbalanced and her any complaint against you is false. 

 

Before your wife/inlaws file a case against you, you immediately file a criminal case against them for cheating you in marriage hiding the mental sickness of your wife under the provisions of cheating (sec.420).  This could be a protective shield for you and the entire control of the situation will be in your hand.  You can also use this situation to get divorce easily.

disturbedman (mgr)     12 February 2010

thanks. where should i file this case....in family court/lok adalat/police station ? pls let me know

R.R. KRISHNAA (Legal Manager)     12 February 2010

First give a police complaint that you are cheated by your wife and her inlaws.  Take the assistance of a lawyer to see that the complaint is perfectly done without errors.  Parallelly file the petition for divorce before the family court.  

 

Immediately contact a lawyer. He will appraise you / clarify you about legal issues.

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     12 February 2010

 

 

Sorry Mr.Krishna, but Mr.Distrubedman has been married for the last 10 years and court will never consider this fact that MR.Distrucb did not findout her medical status for so long.

So the maximum he can do is, he can file an informatory application of threats by her inlaws to the police to safeguard himself.

R.R. KRISHNAA (Legal Manager)     12 February 2010

Mr. Kamal

 

Mr. Disturbed man can plead that he recently only came to know that his wife is taking medical treatment and he can file the case. 

disturbedman (mgr)     12 February 2010

Mr Kamal / R.R. Krishnaa - As mentioned, ever since got married, my wife's behaviour pattern was 'abnormal' and it took me a while until I realize that it is a case of psychiatric treatment.  Her parents who were supposed to know their child better hidden her personality behaviour with me and now they are backing off when the situation of my wife is worsened.

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     12 February 2010

Mental Cruelty can certainly be pleaded to claim divorce from the other spouse. Under Section 13 (1) (ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, either spouse can seek divorce or judicial separation on the grounds of cruelty, which includes mental cruelty. The husband is fully justified in living away from the wife in case he is suffering mental cruelty at the hands of the wife. A petition for divorce or judicial separation can be filed detailing each and every incident of mental cruelty. The instances are required to be specific and should be of such a nature as to be construed of causing mental agony to the husband and should not be merely day to day minor quarrels which normally take place in a married life. Going by your version you are living not ith a wife but with  monster.But if you really loved her why dont you take her for medical check up?

1 Like

sugandh (student)     12 February 2010

Mr. Disturbed Man....after reading your problem...and without reading other suggestions...i would only give you one advice...which is beyond legal logics...!! May be it sounds filmy to you...but i have seen cases like yours...and this is all because of certain lack of love your wife is sufering from, most probbly. Rather than taking your wife as mentally sick, and treating her like abnormals...kindly try and understand her problem...and give her some love and attention...remove all communication gaps between you ppl..and just talk to her without hesitation....you can cure your wife yourself, but only if you want to...and yes....you have to be patient enuf..as this wud take time...I know advising is easy then implimenting...but its your task...as you have pledged to take care of her during marraige...be a Man and support her, else you will riun your children's life, her life and ofcourse your life....but you will understand my words only if you love your wife truely...if she is nothing for you...then divorce her, and marry some one else....!!

Regards,

Sugandh

1 Like

hemant sharma (service)     12 February 2010

Dear Sir,

Please note that in ur case Cruelty as defined in NG Dastane v S.Dastane (1975) 2SCC326 is dvisent which is a ground for dissolution of marriage.

May be defined as wilful and unjustifiable conduct of such a character as to cause danger to life limb  or health, bodily or nental or as to give rise to a reasonable apprehension of sucha danger.

As far as the matter of condonation is concerned Sc has held in the same case that "Condination is always  subject to ;the implied condition thatthe offending spouse will not commit a fresh matrimonial offence."

 

rajni bhatia (service)     13 February 2010

Excellent Sugandh for the answer...so many law experts here....people who post question here are not necessarily becoming ur clients so y everybody gives advise which is always to break n never to unite...mr disturbedman..u r disturbed by ur wife's condition...agreed ..its not easy to live with violent person but if u wud hv luved ur wife it wudnt hv reached such a stage..no girl has guts to raise hands at their husbands until they r really really mad..n how cn u say after marriage from starting itself her behaviour was 'abnormal'//is your behaviour always normal..it just depends upon perception..nobody in this world has proper normal behaviour everytime n that includes you too....& abnormal doesnot mean psycosis...if you love your wife..shout at her even you can give her threat that you will leave her if she continues with this behaviour but after that just sit close to her n ask her why she does it n what does she want n try to sort out your differences (atleast for your children sake)...why there are so many cases of psycosis wives now a days...are our past generation females were perfect?


(Guest)

I have gone through the above legal as well as philosophical pieces of advice.  For philosophical advice, I leave it to the phylosophical experts.

What ever you posted in the forum, reduced it into a complaint form and file it in the police station where you reside and keep a copy  with police station stamp on it with you.  It would give some evidence that any criminal case would be filed against you.

File a divorce petition under Section 13 (1)(iii) along with (ia).  Keep the medical records in original.  You can file it in the family court, where you reside.  This case can be followed when both reside together.

While giving suggestion, let me make it clear my sympathy is not only towards you but also towards your wife.  But you asked legal advice and hence I am giving it.

anupam sharma (Legal Officer)     13 February 2010

HI.Mr. Prabhakar is very right while sympathising towards you and your wife.I fee it's your wife who is to be sympathised.After 10 years of marriage ,it would not be right to leave her in lurch.talk to her,consult another doctor,go through some counselling..and Iam sure things would be fine......The law sure is on your side if you ever wish to seek divorce but my advice,based on humantarian grounds,is that you should first seek to save your marriage as It not only you who is going to be affected but your children too form part of my consideration......

disturbedman (mgr)     13 February 2010

sugandh and rajni bhatia - i appreciate advise.  fact of the matter is that i had been doing just the same to save my marriage and self in making her a normal person - have got her medically diagnised and got her treated as in patient for violent acts; but there is no co-operation neither from her or her parents and kin.  I am at the cross roads now when the violent behaviour is becoming unctrollable beyond my tolerance levels.   I do not any more want to ruin my life which I've already did for the last ateast 7 t 8 years.  I too have been thinking on humanitaran gounds and tried to change personility of my spouse to make her normal and lead normal life; when there is no co-op from either parties, i hav no option to stop this torture for the last 7 to 8 years

Mr. Vijay Raj (Practising Lawyer)     12 March 2010

Recently I came across a case where one person was married for two years and his wife was taking medicine which was confirmed to be to control her mental problems.

The husband filed a divorce applicattion in the Family Court (from his residence which was their last residence) at BUXAR, Bihar.

The wife parents after coming to know few months later filed a dowery FIR at her home town where the marriage was solemnised that is Chhapra, Bihar, accordingly the Chhapra Court issued non-bailable warrants against the boy and his parents, the boy parents could somehow get bail after several months but the bail application moved by the boy was rejected and hence the boy is still absconding.

Here it is worth mentioning that as the boy is not so rich he cannot afford to go to the High Court.

The interesting part is that inspite of the Court at Chhapra being informed that a divorce suit is pending before the FIR was lodged the Court still did not consider the bail application of the boy.

 

SO BEWARE BOYS, GIRLS CAN STILL OVERCOME YOU IN EVERY WAY IN THE NAME OF DOWERY EVEN IF IT IS THEIR FAULT.


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