Vivek (Manger) 31 December 2012

Compatability problem with my wife

Hello Everyone,

I want your advise on my case.

I got married in month of Feb 2012 and some how our marriage is not working.Its arrange marriage.

My wife is very stubborn , egotist and careless. In one word, she is the most selfish person i have seen.

She is always having fights after my parents , and the weired part is that my parents dose not stay with me.

We are in Bangalore and they are in Lucknow.She dose not talk to any of them even on phone.

Many a times i requested her to talk to my parents , yes "requested" but she always says dont tell me what to

do and what not to do. Let me live peacefully, she used to find lots of shortcoming in me and used to say she

refused many good marriage proposal.She has threanted me for bad things. Her uncle is chief judicial

magistrate,so she is indirectly telling me to drag my whole family to jail.

I tried going to Marriage counselling but she is not agree and says its me who need to go for such things.

She thinks she is very smart and using me like credit card.

I never expected such kind of behvaior from my to be wife.She is not ready to leave my place and even i told

her bad behavior to her parents but they never talk to me. Even i requested them to come and stay with us for

a month and they can decide what is wrong and right. But they did not call me either.

Seriuosly, I wanted to get rid of her but dont know how.Because of her attitude i did not plan for kids.

I dont want my kids to see all this drama.

Please suggest how i should handle this one.

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7 Replies

sanjeev pawar (service) 31 December 2012

hi vivek,

has she filed any cases against you as yet?

is she with you at the moment or with your parents.?

has she ever complained against you at any police station?

beware, as she might file false cases against you like 498a DV etc. hence take preemptive steps first, hire a good advocate and narrate your true and honest story, and take steps next. if she has not complained against you, i would advise you to approach the womens cell of police and narrate your experience first in writing and let them summon her for counselling. if you apporoach the police first, your case will be stronger in future. this is what my advice. i hope the other learned members agree to my advice. also advice you to refer to advice of TAJOBS in this forum, he will definitely give an excellent advice on your case

HARSH SHARMA (SERVICE) 31 December 2012

Hi Vivek,
I am also going through the same issue of 'compatability' with my wife.

Wish to be advised on the following from lawyers :
1) What pre-emptive action can i take before she files a false DV case ?
2) Can i file for divorce ? if Yes, on what grounds ? (does 'incompatability' hold good in law ?)
3) We donot have a kid yet, and i am deciding not to go for Kid until our issues are resolved. is this decision OK? can such a decision backfire in the divorce process ?
4) I have 2 flats in my name (1 where i am a single owner and 2nd where i am joint owner with my mother). What should i do about these flats in order to protect my interests?

Vivek (Manger) 31 December 2012

Thanks for your input.

She has not filed any cases against me and she is staying with me at Bangalore since our marriage.

So far she has not filed any complaint in polic station.

Just wanted to know if going to women cell is good ?

Is it like i have to go there and tell all the facts and they will summon my wife there for counselling?

Once she has threaten me to put false allegation of dowry, domestic violence and mental torture.

Will women police trust me ?

I am ready to spoil my 2-3 years instead whole life by staying in alliance with such lady.

Please guide me.

Akshay Sahni (Founder/Partner) 31 December 2012

Dear Sir,

We would be able to help you through, for any further details please visit firm's website : www.indialawhelp.com

Regards

Akshay Sahni

Advocate

09891982832

Partner

India Law Help

vera (none) 31 December 2012

Hi Vivek, I feel sorry for what you going through. Taking recourse of law should be last option while dealing with family matters. Is your wife a housewife? If yes then try to get her some job , as you said family members does not stay with you in that case it is highly advisable that she must do something to keep herself busy. As far as using you like credit card is concerned you can always control it, except for logical expenses dont allow her to waste your money. Passing comments on parents is the worst thing any spouse can do, you need to tell her clearly that you cannot tolerate this. At same time keep your cool. It must have taken lots of efforts for you to get married and now if you chose to get rid of your wife then whats the guarantee that you would get understanding partner in future.

Vivek (Manger) 31 December 2012

My wife is working lady. she works in small finance company .

Unfortunate to write all this , but this is what happening. Regarding money matter, Your point is correct, but i thought

might be she will understand that i dont care for money, just want something else from her.

I asked her to browse some online guides for happy married life but unfortunately she is not interested and used to preach me.

Even I asked her, what is she expecting from me. But she says she don’t have any expectation. I asked her to give one her month where she simply follow me,if she find anything wrong then anyway things will be not worse.

But she is not agreeing for this also. I end up doing all of my house hold

works, dropping her at office, picking up.Fortunately my current organisation is providing timing flexibility so i am able

to manage. But does not appreciate anything. She does not believe in any creative work, neither in cooking. She only

dose facebook and keep watching others scrap book.

As you mentiond to keep the cool, that is what i am doing. But dont know how long it will go.

Since her parents are not supporting me to get things better so finally i decided to take advice on this.

Whereas the matter of getting life partner again , this is enough for me in this life.

Now I just want to know what should I do where less trouble should be caused to my parents?

As suggested by sanjeev pawar, is going to women cell is good option?

Just to highlight again, her uncle is CJM, so please suggest the best possible option.

vera (none) 01 January 2013

Hi Vivek,

If your wife is really full of hatred for you then i don't feel going to women cell would help. Women cell would definitely listen to her side as well and what if she speaks bad about you or makes up some story against you? You need not fear of her uncle being CJM but do contact a lawyer as she is giving threats of filing false cases. Marriage counselling might have helped, but your wife is not ready. My advice would be to get in touch with an advocate in your area and explain him everything.