rising up again (FFF) 18 December 2013

Can i get custody of my son ?? plz do help....

dear all,

here's my story...plz do advice...what u think are my chances to get teh custody of my child... OR what shud i do to get it ??

my case is about to go to courts...maybe in next 15 days. i am filing the divorce and she wud obv file dowry and dv against me. we have a son of 7 yrs and who is close to both. but he spends much much more time with me than her. she works in school and does not spend any time with him except taking care of his education at home in the evening hours. Other than that she has NEVER taken care of the child... instead my mother has taken care of the child since his birth - from waking him up in morning, getting him ready , sending him to school, recieving him back from school, serving him lunch, making him sleep, shopping for him etc etc etc.... I buy -- medicines, fruits, clothes, toys everything for him. i pay his school / tutor / doctors / everything fees since birth. The son sleeps with me and not with his mother. (just to mention that me and my wife live in different rooms in the same house).

I even have been attending school PTM's and take son out on outings - malls, playgrounds, relative houses, adventure parks, etc etc... when i come home around 7 pm... he does not even go to his mother.. just stay with me..and spends time with me.. has dinner with me...and plays/ talks/ sleeps with me.

how do i ensure that i get the custody of my child..????????/ cannot leave him at any cost... ? advice what all i can do to strengthen my case and help in getting his custody. also, how to handle all this in court to convince the judge.

your advices will be real helpful and life saving !!!!

thanks

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10 Replies

gautam (not disclosed) 18 December 2013

Getting custody of kids for men is very difficult, in all such judgements, the welfare of the kids is of paramount importance. If there is an adultery on part of your wife, or her mental imbalance, then it is easy to get custody.

As the kid is more than 5 yrs of age, you can attempt to get custody of the son, especially if the son is more attached to you and may say in front of the judge that he wants to stay with you

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 18 December 2013

I believe your child is with you only now?, you have not filed a divorce case yet, you both live under the same roof, where is the question of custody of child now? This question can arise only if he is away from you after getting divorced and she opts to stay away from you along with the kid.

rising up again (FFF) 18 December 2013

Dear gautam,

I understand the court seeks "welfare of the child" - but what are the parameters of this ? as i have been taking care of "ALL" his expenses and handle all his daily chores, shud i not be given the custody ? what all comes under welfare ???

AND as said by you....how can i attempt getting the custody of the son first and let her file the custody case ? what shud be the action plan in this case...?

Dear Kalaisevan Sir,

Yes, she is staying with me in my self acquired property and i know i cannot throw her out. then what wud happen if i apply for divorce in courts ?? what if she fights the entire case from my house only ? then at what stage can the custody case come ? and can i first run away with my kid and let her file for his custody ? i cannot allow her to run away with my son....as she might brainwash him against me.... PLZ suggest what all shud i do from now to ensure that i collect maximum evidences to show in court and get the custody...

PLZZZZ help !!!

rising up again (FFF) 18 December 2013

Dear gautam,

AND as said by you....how can i attempt getting the custody of the son first and let her file the custody case ? what shud be the action plan in this case...?

gautam (not disclosed) 19 December 2013

taking care of expenses is parents responsibility, even if she gets custody of the child, you will have to contribute to the child's expenses as decided by the court.

Court will take give custody to you only if they are convinced that his interests are served best with father rather than mother.

how will you prove it, just taking care of his expenses won't be enough. Engage a lawyer who can guide you,

If at some point of time event comes where child is asked whether he wants to stay with mom or dad, and if he chooses you over mom, then it may turn in your favor, but asking the child to go through that situation would be cruel.

rising up again (FFF) 19 December 2013

yes, i agree gautam... i really wud not want the child see that !!!

And to make my case stronger, what shud i do other than bearing the expenses of the child ? what all things wud help me prove that i am better than the mother ? Give me a list of things, i shud start doing / collecting / following to convince the courts. can i not prove that if the child is with me, he has a safe and heathy future as i have many properties which i wud give is his name, where as if he goes to the mother...he will have to struggle to make a good life for himself...as he will dependant on only the maintainence i am giving.

am just so confused....lawyers do not give a concrete reply...just say....we will do our best , dont worry.....etc etc.... but i honestly am very scared... !!!

Also, gautam...plz reply to the query i have asked...Mr. kalaisevan.....

thanks buddy for ur time.....and help..........

pankaj singh (XXXXXX) 14 February 2014

dear experts..

plz answer on this question...am sure it will help many men seeking custody of their kids.

my question on the same - what are the clauses the court will look for...to give sway the custody of the child... WHAT IS THE MEANING OF "WELFARE OF THE CHILD" WHICH COURT CONSIDERS.. ???? WHAT ALL IS INCLUDED IN THIS CHILD WELFARE ??????????????