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Sanjeevani Bhosale (-------)     23 February 2013

Advice for avoiding divorce

Hiii ..... I am 29 years old ... 2 years married with 8 mnths old Son ... Since last 2 mnths i am staying with my parents ... My In-laws and my husbands siblings are mentaly harresting me .. my husband is not taking intersest in family issue .. he ignored everything as he dont want to hurt his parents .. he always telling me to dont keep any expection from me .. you just resolve ur matter ... don involved me ... due to depression i left my house .. my parents told me to stay for few days with us ... search for job be independen and then go back to your place ... before one month i called my husband for the same i request him to give me some time to come out of this situation and request him to give me my education certificate ... but he denied for the same ... he said no need to do job ... i am capable enough to take care of you ...  i didnt argue with him and kept the phone .. few days before me, my dad and my uncle visited there place for the same .. they again started with same arguments ... my sister in law slap me in front of my parents .. they insult me lot .. saying " tu bhikari aahes " "zopadpatit rahtes" and they used to talk like this .. for documents we did NC against my husband and we received documents ... but he threaten my uncle saying that " now you look and watch the effect of this "....

The second day of that they are started gving me courtacy call ... i wont understand .. why they are  doing this

I dont want to be seate from my husband ... but i am scare to stay with his family .. bczesponsibility and ignoring everything ... i requested him to be seprate from them but he is not ready

I really dont want to give him divorce .. but i cant stay with his family as well due to there mental tourcher

I am filling tht they are taking some legal action

Please help me ... what can i do ... plsssss



Learning

 29 Replies


(Guest)

Sorry to hear that :(

File Residence order under d.v. and ask for protection

1 Like

stanley (Freedom)     23 February 2013

Newtons thrird law of motion for every action there is a equal and opposite reaction !!

Now that you have your certificates look out for a job and be independent . 

Once you file a  Non Cognisable complaint  and  you approach the cops it becomes difficult to patch up. The trust is broken .

For your child at any cost he would have to pay maintanence as for you it would be difficult to get maintanence as i presume you are qualified and have the capability to work .

As you say you dont want to give him divorce tell him to file for divorce and even tell him that his petition may not even be accepted on such silly and clumsy grounds of minor quarrels and if accepted he would be spending years and years in litigation .

1 Like

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     23 February 2013

From your post you apear to be real victim .

 

I agree with Mr Stanley that "Once you file a  Non Cognisable complaint  and  you approach the cops it becomes difficult to patch up." Even without that it is not easy for you to patch up.  Right now your husband sitting in his house is not a loser and only you are loser. When you take shelter of law then he starts losing. Thereafter he has a motivation to avoid law and work for reconiliation.

 

You have so far not disclosed any dowry demand and you may not be even knowing what is dowry and what is demand.  Without this generlly none resorts to Domestic Violence.

 

But placed in the cirumstances you have no choice.  Actually the stric lasw like DV Act, 498a etc are made for benefits of victims like you and you neglect to take shalter of such laws and only false complainants swell the statastics.

 

You said that "my husband is not taking intersest in family issue .. he ignored everything as he dont want to hurt his parents"  Very good, he may not even like his parents and sister to be in Jail.  Such like husbands easily agree for the terms of peace.  If you approach CAW cell, they are bound togive him a chance of reconciliation befor egoing for FIR and he will have to compell thme  to file FIR agains thim by maintaining the hostile posture (as you describeded). 

1 Like

Sanjeevani Bhosale (-------)     23 February 2013

Sudhir sir .... can you plss advice me .. what should i do ... can i go and talk to my husband again or i will wait till he take any legal action 

 


(Guest)

@stanley

 

"As you say you dont want to give him divorce tell him to file for divorce and even tell him that his petition may not even be accepted on such silly and clumsy grounds of minor quarrels and if accepted he would be spending years and years in litigation ".

 

 It is true that court will not accept divorce petition filed by her husband on lack of grounds???

 

stanley (Freedom)     23 February 2013

offcourse @ Charu google the grounds for dissolution of marriage and he has to prove those grounds . so you can convey to your husband the same thing :-) 

Divorce petition writers write a story book when it comes to divorce and whatever true or false allegations are mentioned in it have to proved :-)


(Guest)

Wow...thats gr8. Such a good news. I thought petition can be filed just like that..without any reason. Thank god...:)

 

@ Sanjeevani... i understand marathi.... if your in laws are saying those things to you.

Then you must smile and say...." He bikhari tumchi sunbhai aahe...aasun me tumcha saathe rehnarr e ...manje aapan cha ghar zhopad patti aahe kay????" Assa vicchar tya logala.:)

Sanjeevani Bhosale (-------)     23 February 2013

True@ charu .. i respet elders and really dont want to give them back ans ... I also need there love ... but they dont understand this ... they are ready to take me in the house in their conditions ( papa ani mummy la bhetaycha nahi ... tyana call karaycha nahi )  which are not acceptable to me ... bcz they are our responsibility as we dont have brother

Anyways ... dont want my parent should suffer for this

But I dont want to loose my self respect as well

Sanjeevani Bhosale (-------)     23 February 2013

@stanley 

 

Can my husband send legal notice .. stating she is not leaving with me and can court force me to stay with his family ??

 


(Guest)

@ Sanjeevani

Courts will not force you to stay with his family...if you deny to stay with them. There is nothing wrong in staying with them. Initially everyone faces problems in their in laws house. Dont have to be soo rigid ...for such silly things.

How is your rappo with your husband? try to develop good understanding with him...as time passes he will definitely make you comfortable in his house. You need to give some time to each other.

Good thing i liked about your husband ...is he is not taking sides. This shows he is balanced. Dont open up your complain box infront of him. Because , its obvious he will get irritated to listen bad about his family.

Concentrate on your kids development. Let your in laws...kool down with time. Please advice from my side is be open be humble and accept to stay with them for sometime. Dont keep yourself away from your husband . This will make his love for you and your child fade with time.

Join him and be mentally and emotionally strong. Dont give in ....for silly things.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     23 February 2013

 

You plan to go and talk to your husband.  No harm.  Atleast he should have a chance to “U” turn because path ahead is deadly for him.

 

He has already said that ( papa ani mummy la bhetaycha nahi ... tyana call karaycha nahi ) If I understand Marathi correctly then he wants you as slave and I repeat that strict laws are there for protection of people like you.

 

 

Court cannot send you to live with a family addicted to domestic violence. 

 

You do not want your parents to suffer but you have no choice they are suffering and will keep on suffering till you decide to end your suffering.

 


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Sanjeevani Bhosale

@stanley 

 

Can my husband send legal notice .. stating she is not leaving with me and can court force me to stay with his family ??

 

Sanjeevani:


Your in-laws are troublesome to you, insulting you, so you dont want to stay with them is it?


and you think that now as you are  not  staying with your husband, he will file divorce case is it?

Sanjeevani Bhosale (-------)     23 February 2013

@charu ... i have never complaint him about his family ... the things are happening in front of him and he is ignoring tthats y i m worried ... since last 2 mnths he never called me and he never asked abt his child .. he is telling my father to leave ur daughter here and consider that she is no more for you .. before leaving t that house  ... my husband was stop interacting with me from last 5 mnths .... i left that house bcz of his behav and ignorance towards his family behaviour ... i was totaly depress ... its just nt question of his parents ... i can tolarate their behav also ... if my husband will support for that ... if everyone in family will start ignoring my presence .and will start insulting me the way they want .. how i will cope up ... we are 9 members in family

Sanjeevani Bhosale (-------)     23 February 2013

@stanely

 

Yes ... I am feeling that he will send legal notice to come back  and stay with them


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