Please give me some valuable advice

@Sufferer

and that too in Women's CAW cell where the women say justice will be served. Lol

all that the women police can do is threaten the person about false cases if he doesnt listen to the wife. Thats called justice!!

And Sudhir, till now I didn't see one single good advice from him. His suggestions are always various paths to break marriages.

@Saloni

What stopped you from filing an FIR? the same would have stopped your husband from filing divorce. Neway Divorce in india is not easy for a man to get it.

 

Husband did not desert you. You filed a complaint and you stayed away from him in your parents house. Now you tell me who deserted whom? 

 

I will stick to my earlier opinion, neway you didn't mention the reason for you to take up the legal route. Why did you give the complaint in a police station? what was the issue? is it such a big issue that negotiations can not solve it. Then in such a case divorce is the only solution. It doesnt matter who files it when the life itself is spoiled.

 

When you have used the pressure tactic to mend your husband then your husband has also got an equal right to play few pressure tactics and mend your ways. Its as simple as that. Once the wife steps into the police station that relationship is as good as dead.

 

Finally, treating you as my own sister, I suggest you to stay calm. If you still love him and deep down you know hez not totally wrong, then give the relationship some time. Time will solve the problem. I am sure he will get back to you. Its your mistake when the relationship is not totally dead, you stepped into police station, that's a horrible mistake. Its upto you to decide.

Some low class people will suggest you to file false cases on your husband. Don't do that. I really don't understand the logic when woman files false cases on her own husband. I can never cheat an woman I love. That's not possible for me. Once someone files false cases, the man gets motivated to fight the evil otherwise what we got to drive us to fight all the false cases?

Thank you everyone for your advice.

And yes let me tell you here WPS is directly monitored by a police officer not less than a rank of DCP. And no officer will listen to stories and file FIR just like that. They call both the parties for councelling and test them their behaviours and also their way of answering the police and believe they are not fools to miss on who is who.

Once they are convinced they advice the way forward and file / compromise the issue. And in case of FIR the parties have to be ready to fight the battle in court for years.

They dont force anyone nor they favor anyone. They only do their job thats it and yes they do use their own vocabulary which is not so popular with civilians.

I dint file FIR because my husband was my friend before marriage and i love him. I complained at PS because my MIL wanted to send my belongings back to y house started bad mouthing me and my husband saying that we both dont love each other, so i filed a complained to warn this lady to stop her mischief.

Oh is it!! Thanks for explaining the process of police counseling. In this context I have a question, sorry to bother you but did they get you couple to a compromise. Good to know that the police have solved your issue. Congrats and enjoy the ride!!

Hmmnn..amongst all there were few really good advises. I keep learning ...thanks experts. Now the reason for policeasking you to lodge fir is adding fuel to fire.....are you aware if its a 498a, they would arrest every tom d**k n harry from husb. Fly including him Then thdy wd threaten , arrest and ask for a hefty amount in p.s..... Its like golden period / feasting time. They take money, file fir and finally try councilling , whdn bored enough would send the matter or ask you people to approach court. Finally back to square 1.... So it would rather spoil rather than settle issues

don't go by police advise, indians know their reputation

They want you to file cases/FIR so that the case becomes complicated and then it becomes a candidate for them to extort money from parties (whether right or wrong)

here is the analysis of the situation

a) Whatever reason between you two, your husband has deserted you and are not very civil about it.  You are bound to be hurt, but if you think why the husband/families take such harsh measures (like MIL asking to send your belongings to you and disowning their son verbally) is to protect themselves legally (as laws are heavily skewed in favour of females) - probably this fact may lessen your anger towards their action.  These action are not directed against you but to protect themselves

b) You have the following options

i)  Don't do anything, continue your life and wait for the other party to take the next action.  Pray for miracle that the other party realize their mistake and attempt at reconcillation  [morally correct decision as well as legally]

ii) File RCR petition telling the court/husband about your intention to continue the matrimonial relationship.  If no positive result achieved by this, at least it will help you in Point iii)

iii) File a divorce case on basis of desertion, claim maintenance and alimony [ again morally and legally right approach].  Here woman gets short changed as they can not always prove husband assets or income and may not get the right maintenance or alimony.  I guess Indian laws need to amended to address this problem as women's should not be wronged here.  hence few women file false cases

iv) file false cases against ur husbands and their family, get them arrested run in court  (morally wrong step, will land up in mess, have lot of mental tension and no chance of getting back with husband

Madam,

You seem to be not interested  to proceed legally. Of course law cannot come in between two emotional relationship. Take the help of your husbands close friends. they may be knowing his address. Try to contact with your husband; communicate with him; take him into confidence.; Tell him your emotional feelings.

next your inlaws seems to be have some information about your husband otherwise how could they they say that he would return after one month!!!

It means they know his where about ' Take the help of  elders of your family or neighborhood et the so that they can get the information from your husband's parents.

At this time do not confront with them. You can only protect your family from disrupt and disturbances. You need patience and  "SILENCE"  must  exercised in all matters.

When you do not want to take the help of formal institutions. it is better to take the help elders/well wishers and friends

do not lose your heart .There is light at the end of  every tunnel!

To all the new advisors on my query.

What should i do if my in laws are coming forward to talk. You people ask me to go and talk and sort out without taking police help. On the other hand they say that their relative is a big lawyers and they will get divorce in one day.

What is stopping them from filing for divorce then. If my husband is absconding that itself shows that he is not confident of himself. What max can i do with 498a ? arrest him he will get bail then ..??

I want them to realise their mistake and not repeat it with anyother girl

I am working my dad is not well. Every now and then i have visits to hospitals police stations, that fellow is not even coming forward for divorce.

Few men should not get married if they think that marriage is only about a lavish wedding, honeymoon and nothing else.

"SILENCE" is good but not after a certain limit. And few people only understand police language or court trails. Normal talks doesnt get inside their heads.

And his relatives are telling me to file case and make them get nice beatings at police station. They are infact ready to come and say the same in police station. I gave the WPS people my in laws relatives number and they the police that my in laws are only torturous and they are not lsitening to anyone and the girl is right and to help me.

Even i felt bad that my in laws are not getting any support from their own relatives. I asked the officer not to take any stern action against my in laws and leave them. Only thing i want is proper one to one talk with my husband , Thats it i need an explanation and he ows me an explanation for what he has done to me,

My MIl and SIL spend my husbands hard owned money, dont give me proper food, they are always jealous of he speding time with me. They cant see him having a life with me.ANd now when its coming to tracing him, they say he is not giving us money so he is dead for us.

Its high time that my husband realises the fact that, not only the girl suffers after divorce, but even he will hve to face a lot of resentment from his own family members. becoz at the end of the day its only we both who are going to suffer.

And at some point of time or the other everyone has to think about themselves, and not get carried away by moral boosts from family members.

Even i get to hear from my relatives to file case against my husband and make him realise and make hsi life miserable. BUt i am not doing that right. Becoz i want to be with him or leave him, but not take revenge like this. GOD has his own ways of teaching lessons and purifying the soul.

@ querist,

Iam very much eager to know that at what ground you will file a true 498a on Your husband and MIL/SIL????????

and here  Iam asking true 498a ,so don't  be disguised by False 498a  as they can be filed even at Sleeping:))

Thank you need jsutice.

I dint go to police station on my own i was asked to come there as my in laws submitted an application for NOC. Which their advocate might have advised them to get.

I was called at police station even my in laws were called, then i told the officer my side of the story, he told me to file a formal complaint against them and cancelled their NOC, after that i counsulted a lawyer to know what these legal terms are.

They have actually invited trouble for themselves not me. And the police officer gave a good advice of not filing any case, though i have proofs of they taking money from me from the saving i had before marriage.

I dont know what others have experienced in police station but the officers i came accross are IPS officers and they are sensible in giving advice. They asked me to take care of myself and not go into depression, carry on some further studies, continue doing job and think of my iife and safety than husband and in laws.

Becoz at the end of the day its my hardwork that is earnring me a living and not any relationship.

 

Marriage ie married life should consist of love, affection, caring, babies, respect for each other and not police, police station.

@author, you should not have visited the police station.

When you know that wrong has happnd to you and that these ppl are not worthy enough to be talked about or dealt with, and your conscience is clear as crystal, you should have moved on rather falling into these circles.

Lady, no matter how developed India has become or will become, the thoughts of average indian will always be the same, till now you did not go to any police station, but now as you had been there, all will blame you only, that she is the one who went to police station, how could one live with such a girl would be the first thing in badmouthing about you and your character.

Nevertheless, dont be afraid, take divorce and move on.  Your life is much more  precious than fighting for nothing with these good for nothings!

Good luck.

Sudhir Ji,,,

I have notice number of times that you are pretty biased on your approach.

Take this on affidavit, Once a girl will enter PS, the relation will be broken for life........Husband will never trust her again. What extra-legal methods police have ??? They can only threaten him & infact they will threaten him that they will put him in jail if he do not act as a puppy to his wife.

Do you have any idea, whether Police officials are trained marital dispute counsellors. We have IO's in our country who are just 10th passed. How can u expect a counselling from police ??? 

Dear Sudhir Jii>>>>>>>>>>>>> To know better abt police, file a RTI in ur area and ask from SSP in RTI application that who all are the trained counsellors in ur District and the answer will come NOBODY................Also, do check the MHA Circular on 498A which clearly states that for marital issues only trained counsellors shud be used for counselling and Not Police.

Pls pls do not misguide the members here