divorce

dear madam i think there is not any trick its only a way to suggest u that if ur fight will continue then he will file this case in court but as of now there can not be said any legal trick  to get the case drafted in itself is not a crime because if u both can't live togather then he or u can ask for divorce i don't think there is any wrong in this. if the matter goes in court then it will be decided on merits and court will follow its own procedure. no one can get divorce by just drafting of case, he must approach to court of law to get it decided. 

hi, thank u for ur reply. i dont mean to say that he is wrong beause he got the divorce drafted or its a crime. i just wanted to know his intentions. Actually we have 2 daughters one ageg 3 years 7 months and other 2 years 6 months. 

i told him that i dont want to take divorce but repeatedly he is saying that he knows that i want divorce and when i asked him what about our kids if we take divorce he said i did nt ask u to give birth to 2 girls.

i just wanted to know what could be the reason for getting the divorce drafted but not filing the same.

thank u.

dear madam,

now see i want to give u personal advice not lawyer's. one thing u must keep in mind that divorce is the other name of BARBADI specially for ladies, moreover, u have two daughters also, think about them, first of all leave every kind of expectations from your husband, and try to cool him down, because he is a father also. it is very difficult to live without life partner, instead of thinking about divorce just avoid fighting with him and try to console him, build confidence between both of you, tell him about ur problems and don't impose urself upon him. to some extent u may also have made mistake, give ur life a right turn. ur case has not gone to court therefore u still have chance to make things rights otherwise it will b too late my no. is 9654423507 u can talk to me if wish to do so

i understand what u r trying to tell me. i dont want to take divorce, he is the one who is blaming me that i want divorce, i clearly told him that atleast for kids sake we should stay tgeather and i apolizised me for any fault of mine.

We are not staying togeather, i am currently staying with my parents, when i called him to tell that i want to stay with him he said he dont want to stay with me.

@ Author

From your several briefs it seems that there are differences due to female children born out of the wedlock.

However, since he is half sure what he intends to do suggest;

1. Return back to Matrimonial home and stay put there.


2. Tell him next time if he talks of ‘divorce’ of the gender biased laws in favour of women and ask him to go ahead with filing divorce and say I will oppose it as I have not faulted in anyway till date. He will realise soon once he seeks the huge lines in Court and come back to family harmony track for a happy tomorrow with you and for kids sake.


3. If above fails then show him news of women on top positions in society and tell him now-a-days there is hardly any difference if there is a son or daughter born which is not anyonce hands and both are equal and daughters can also reach top if jointly groomed well hence sit back and pay attention to family otherwise file as you may please I and our children not moving out of our home" !

All the best.

don't wait for his call, just go back to matrimonial home alongwith daughters and show him that u r his wife and he has duty to accept u and maintain u. he has legal duty to provide u residence and maintenance. he can't shun his legal duties over telephone

I AND MY WIFE MADE PETITION FOR DIVORCE ON MUTUAL CONSENT 13(B).NOW SHE WANT TO WITHDRAW AND WANT MAKE FALSE CASES AGAINST ME.I AM GOVT EMPOLYEE, HER FAHTER HAVE 2 WIFE's AND BOTH ARE RESIDING SEPARATELY.MY WIFE IS VERY TEMPERED AND ONLY DAUGHTER OF OF 1st wife. HOW I CAN FACE AND TAKE DIVORCE FROM HER. CAN THEY FILES CASED AGAINT ME, AND UPTO WHAT LAVEL  MUTUAL CONSENT PETITION SUPPORT ME.PLS WRITE ME IMMEDIATELY.

.GIVE ME SOME STRONG IDEAS. THANKS

thank u very much .

actually , we both had taken divorce out of our first marriage, i was divorced earlier due to financial problems they were harassing me for more dowery, so i took divorce .i stayed with my ex, only for 2 months and parted away and after 1 year we applied for mutual divorce and got the divorce.My present husband said that he was divorced because his ex had an extra marital relationship with some prerson.

but after marriage i learned from his relatives that actually he had an extra marital relation ship with a lady and had a son out of that relationship and settled it out of court.he than married a post graduate girl keeping her in dark about his past relationship.once she knew this he divorced him.and than we both were married. i came to know all this soon after marriage.not only that before marriage he said that he is a graduate and had a business in which he is arning 1000000/annum.but the fact is he studided till 10th and he did not had any such business.

we had may problem because of his attitude,and i commited for suicide, fortunately my parents who were staying near by rushed me to hospital and i was saved, later i gave birth to 2 daughters.y husbands father used to stay in delhi as he owned some sites there and after 2 years of our marriage he went to delhi stating that some one tried to gab those lands and he should help his father, i was ok with that as ithought he will return after this is resolved but its ben almost 4 years but he never said he will come bak,but he usd to visit us once in 2 months for weeks time.i was working with a corparate copany n i left my job and went to delhi, but again himself and his mother started harrasing me and they sent me to hyderabad after 2 months, n i tired to call him but he never answered any call and after 8 months he sent a legal notive with all sort of false alligations and he also mentioned that i attend late night parties ,booze, smoke and get dropped at home by male collegues, yet he wants to stay with me for the sake of kids,initially i thought iam done with this person but for sake of my parents,kids and society i thought i will stay with him and this person blackmailed me emotionally nmade me sign on some stamp papers which states that i was at fault all the time and will never repeate this.he told me that he actually dont believe in all this but for his parents sake i should sign otherwise he cant take me to delhi.i trusted him and signed the papers and went to delhi,again the same attitude of his and his mother was repeated and this time it was even worse and i was sent back to hyderabd.this person got a divorce drafted by a lawyer and for support he submitted the legal notice,rply i gave, the stamp papers he made me sign,suicide note(actually in that i have mentioned he is not responsable for his i dint want any sort of leagl burden on my parents).he said he will not file for divorce when i called him to tell that we will go mutually.but i dont understand why he got this drafted.and remainng is mentioned in my first question.

ca u tell me what his intentions might be

thank u harsh for ur help. but iam not looking for an advocate to tae up my divorce case, actually i would like to seek experts suggestions.

I prefer to suggest you as my own take of your family situation, as follwos----

First of all I would suggest you to calm down and do not utter any escalating sentences and 'D' words while talking to husband.

With the limited information, it would be my guess work to say that 'neither of you meant seriously about 'D' word but out of outburst and provocation uttered to live apart.

But don't let it embroil into a larger controversy.

Best thing is to restrain oneself first.............pacify the other party..take some time..........don't put other party into defensive............nobody likes to take blame and nobody likes other party playing 'politically correct' and winning social sympathy also. it results the other party getting into even more defensve stance.

Remember...................... even he might have something objectionalble to say about your temperament etc etc ............Neither you nor him are perfect (It is evident)

Many marriages which are actually not on the verge of break-up ... unfortunately led to the path of break-up due to above......and it affect the whole family.

You husband said 'you will get what you uttered (your loose outburst...its not really acceptable many a times ....but still it is correctable caling it a loose tlka and emtional outburst .... Even males/husbands commit hundreds of blunders and females/wives pardon them.........)

In your situation you (both)  need to find a 'successful retreat from your verbal stand' and allow him also to retreat from his provocative response'....

Kya aap .... Daldal mein fase ko 'Sorry' bolne ka bhi mouka nahi degi?....ya aisa mouka aap ke liye bhi nahi chahegi?....

is situation mein jyada haat pair marenge to jyada hi niche dal-dal mein dhase jaoge!!!

who knows?...probably  neither of you ever gave other party a chance even to say 'sorry'!!!!

But you need to do it quickly...and here time delay aggravates the problem and rather core issues are sidelines and people start fighting for vindication.........but when 'D' word is uttered there are no winners......both are become losers ..... as neither party would relent/buckle easily.

Try and give ample attempts to show that you intend to do something 'for marriage to work'

and also don't take credit also for that as if you only understood the value of marriage...

even other party might be going through enormous stress for likely hard decisions.

Erase the climate of suspecion in between you ......  And it can't erased by any third person (third person can only widen the gap.) ......... or talk by not talking the issue .......... but the message of 'White Flag' should reach to other party smartly ......         ....... Let him realise by actions ......... and being candid in approach.

"Office mein bhi sabke samne jab kabhi boss chillata hai to sabhi haske hi lete hai...to private mein .......... husband ke sath ego problem kyu hai?".

Don't involve anybody except you both .......

(anybody means ANYbody.........from wither side of you both..and it includes parents, relatives, friends and so counsellors also.....all these would make harm only in case like yours..........both of you seems not be controlling emotions while fighting to each other...you both are culprits) 

most probably...........................Even your husband must be under stress...best thing is put extra responsibilities on him about kids...so that he keeps involved and attached with kids..

Don't allow him alienate him from kids! make him feel he is indispensable father and husband.

Bure aadmi ko bhi agar dus baar kaha jay ki 'wo achhha aadmi hai' to woh bhi dhire dhire badalta hai.

Thank u for ur suggestions.

But the thing is when I try to talk to him he never responds in a positive way. Actually when I call he he will answer the call n I will be the one who keeps talking, he never responds, if I ask him to tal something, he just says u r the one who called so if u have something to say , say it other wise you can hung the phone. So I don’t understand why is he answering the call when he don’t want to talk.

And I really don’t understand why is that it seems like iam the culprit and so I have to do whatever I can n this person is least bothered to keep the marriage. He bluntly says that his life is spoiled because of me and he don’t want to live with me any more.

Actually , he is the one who lied to me everything about him and of course we had arguments and fights, its pretty common in every house, when ever we used to have a fight he used to go to his sister and mother and used to say nonsense about me and he even tells them that I force him not to meet them, but I swore I never said that to him.

On the other hand his mom is the person who made my life worse and even he sometime tell his mother to change and be good to me n he very well know how she behaves towards me, but as now we r staying apart and we r not in good terms he is saying that his mom is correct and she never ill behaved with me.

I really don’t have any hope.....

When I say kids wants to talk to u he feels as if iam making them a barrier to reach his house. I don’t understand how he can be like that with out knowing how kids r and how are they.