Sonia 16 July 2015

Divorce

Dear All. My Name is Sonia, married in Nov-2008, having 2 kids (4.5 Years & 5.5 Years).
I got love cum arrange marriage. My husband is very uncaring & unresponsible after marriage.
He handover all the responsibilities of home home, kids & others on me.
My parents helped me a lot in this period. They cares me & my kids in every way.
Since I am a working lady, my parents looked after my kids for last 5 years but my husband behaviour is
very bad towards my parents. He abuses them a lot & dislike very much.
He also abuses me & mentally tortured very much. Several times, I tried to separate from him
but every time our & my husband's relatives denied me to do so. My husband's bad
activities have been increasing continuously. My parents had some money, which they deposited
for my kids but since we are rented, they spent the money for purchasing the home for me.
But my husband has not helped me & denied to take the money from anywhere.
He has propery in the village but he clearly refused to sold the same for taking home
or for the welfare of the kids. Due to all these things & some other reasons, I am living with my parents
I want to take the divorce from my husband as soon as possible but he is not agree for the same
He make phone calls & make pressure on me & my relatives & his relatives also pressurise us. Please help me in this regard.

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4 Replies

Prasad (Systems Engineer) 16 July 2015

Hello Sonia...

If you have lost all trust and love on your husband [whom you chose to love and marry], then you can file for divorce based on cruelty and dessertion and get lot of money and divorce from him.

Indian marital laws are one sided and support women and so you have lot of advantage.

Indian marital laws are blind and consider only men as faultering.

But if you have some love and trust still left in your heart for your husband, you can read below for few suggestions that is to save marriage and your kids happiness and future.

What are those "some other reasons" that you are living with your parents?

You wrote "He handover all the responsibilities of home home, kids & others on me."

Then you wrote "Since I am a working lady, my parents looked after my kids for last 5 years".

So, you neither have done your parental duty to your kids.

So, you have behaved the same way as much as your husband.

You loved your husband and married him and hence you are responsible to carry him forward throughout your life as much as he is responsible to you.

You both cannot simply put aside your responsibilities after a love marriage.

Do you have list of reasons of why your husband husband is very uncaring & unresponsible after marriage. ?

Are you still caring for him? If so, why you want to separate from him.

In your all query, you are more interested to know how to separate and get money from your husband even by selling his property.

But you does not seem to have taken any effort to live with your husband.

All seems to be because you are earning.

Please think, You are earning and hance may be able to easily throw your husband away.

But your kids at this age need their father.

You have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to interfere in your kid's right to access their father.

So, you should consider living with your husband or give as much free access to your kids as required to your husband.

Else you are not doing any good to your kids.

At this age, after your marriage, you need your parents and they are helping you.

But, at this age of 4 and 5 years, you are not giving your kids access to their father.

Please be kind and responsible to your kids.

Your kids can trust only their father and you, the mother.

So, please try to talk and live with your husband that you chose to love and marry.

Else, you live separately and give your kids free access to theiir father. It is their right.

Do not bring legality between you, your husband and kids.

Bind all of yourselves with unconditional love, care and trust.

stanley (Freedom) 16 July 2015

Parents should not interfere in daughter's married life: HC

TNN | Feb 19, 2011, 09.50PM IST

NEW DELHI: The interference of parents in the married life of their daughters has become a major reason for discord between young couples after marriage, the Delhi high court has rued.

While upholding a divorce decree, Justice Kailash Gambhir expressed concern over cases landing up in courts that show frequent rifts between couples due to parents' persistent interference in their daughters' married life.

HC granted a decree of divorce to a man on the grounds of his in-laws' frequent interference in his marital life and noted that parents should "draw a line" and let their daughters lead a happy, married life.

"All parents guide, teach and discipline their daughters and are concerned about their welfare after marriage but it is imperative for parents to draw a line as the prime concern should be that their daughter is happily settled in a new atmosphere at the husband's place," Justice Gambhir said.

But, it should not mean day-to-day monitoring of the affairs taking place at the matrimonial home of the daughter, he said.

Parents should not become uninvited judges of problems of their daughter, become an obstacle in the daughter's married life, plant thoughts in her mind and gain control over her and promote disharmony in her family life, the judge said.

"They are expected to advice, support and believe in their upbringing, maintaining a discreet silence about the affairs of the matrimonial relationship," the court said.

"The present case is an unfortunate example where the parents of the appellant, instead of putting out the fire have fuelled and fanned it," the court said, dismissing an appeal filed by the wife challenging the lower court's order granting the man decree of divorce.

According to the husband, the differences with his wife started a few months after their marriage in 1990 due to frequent interference of his in-laws.

He alleged that he was even hit publicly by his father-in law two years after his marriage.

Seeking decree of divorce, he had approached the court, which allowed his plea on the grounds of cruelty by his wife due to continuous interference by his in-laws.

Anand 16 July 2015

With all do respect Prasad, she is asking for legal advice on a law forum. Not marriage counselling.

Mrs. Sonia, sorry to hear of your plight. I think your first and best option is go to the police so that you can discuss with them your options on stopping the torture your husband and in-laws are causing. This is in the best interest of your family, and in particular the child's. It is your right to have a divorce and I will leave it to learned advocates here to provide advice on the same.