tired and exhausted (Production Manager) 05 July 2014

Divorce

Dear Sir. Ma'am

Myself and my wife are staying apart for a year after a fight last June 2013, as she was using abusive language and F words in front of my parents and on repeated request not to use that kind of language she didnt stop and in that anger and fit of rage i slapped her and in her retaliation even she did... After cool down i realised my fault and apologised to her in front of my parents who strongly condemned my behavior.. As they were travelling to US and thinking that in their absence things can go bad and after having a word with her family asked her to go for sometime to Bangalore and stay there and once they are back she should join.. She took up a job there and i have visited her 3 times between Sept 2013 to Feb 2014 to make things work and asking her to move back.. But she has become very adamant and has decided to stay put and not to return. About 2 days back when we asked them if she is not coming back we shall go for divorce they are refusing.. she says i wont come back neither i will divorce you.. He elder sister have even threatened that we can go ahead and do whatever we want and they shall respond to it.. Want to know in this case can we or should we go for Restitution of Conjual rights? or we directly go in for filing divorce.. we would like to work this out amicably and get out of it without getting into mess.. also i after some research on net is got to know that there is a Mediation dept in High Court Delhi which helps in mediation and tries to work out things without confronting.. can you please suggest what should i do to safeguard myself and my family from 498a.. any advice, help, suggestion will be more than welcome..

Thanks

Naveen

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8 Replies

Nitish Banka (lawyer) 06 July 2014

RCR is good option but you may get 498a in return.If you move for divorce then also you are not immune to 498a, its better to apply for anticipatory bail.Also don't worry mediation also happens after 498a

(Guest)

As per your query you want both things which ever comes earlier.

If she will join you then you could proceed with her.

If she doesnt join you then you need divorce.

In this condition when wife's nature is under suspense as what she will do, its advisable to file RCR.

Reasoning:

1. Is she joins you under the influence of rcr then also its ok to you.

2. If she doesnt join you then also its ok to you, as you will get decree after waiting one more year after sepration and rcr decree in favour of you.

Drawbacks:

If she turns for a single day and again ditches you then you have to start again with afresh filing of divorce petition as all your allegations in rcr will be condoned after your oneday honeymoon alongwith her.

Logical strategy:

File for divorce right now stating her desertion without any reason. No cohabitation , no conjugal life and no chances of reunion.

For this you have to show evidences that desertion ha been crossed two years and you have tried many atimes but she is adamant to join. In this you wont have to pay any manitenance or alimony to her if desertion is prooved.

Start with legal notice, registered letters, mails and phone calls that you have tried a lot for reunion but she had made you life hell and alone.

Ps: 498a and dva cases are just icing on cake when you really need a freedom treat against your dead marriage.

Enjoy the ride without any shock absorbers. We indian males are borne to be tortured. So, dont get frusrated with these kind of hurdles when you need to reach at your destination.

Good luck.

ESIS

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 07 July 2014

Filing RCR petition is of no use when she is not willing to live with your anymore. Better take advise of a local prudent lawyer and then proceed as per his advise.

tired and exhausted (Production Manager) 07 July 2014

Thanks!! will be seeking help soon from a lawyer..

K.K.Ganguly (Advocate) 12 July 2014

1. What do you want now? You want to file divorce suit or want to ways to get immuned to her anticipated complaint u/s498A?

2. Foir both the cases, you shall have to collect evidences like her abuses and indecent behaviour which amounts to mental cruelty,

3. Her not returnin to you at your city from her working place at Bangalore after resigning from her job is no ground for filing divorce suit,

4. Meantime, maintain good rapport with localpolice station to ensure that you come to know about the FIR no., should she files FIR against you, to obtain anticipatory bail from court.

tired and exhausted (Production Manager) 12 July 2014

Dear MR K K Ganguly, thanks for your kind repy...

My recent talk with my wife i spoke about going in for mutual consent. which she refused point blank and told me that i wont come back and neither i would give divorce... I have enough evidence if need may like messages and some mails... and there are few other things which i have which i cant share here as dont want to malign anyone character.. but as i said i can definitely provide as evidence in the court..

I did go to the police station and the women cell in my district and met the high officials there and as per them i need not have to worry even if the case of 498a is file against me and my family i will not be arrested with immediate effect and wait for the court to investigate in the matter.. which is relief for me..

I just need to understand that when she has made up her mind of not coming back and i go ahead and file in for divorce what should be my strategies?? as in how do i safe guard my self... and what can i expect from them?? we as a family have taken a conscious decision for divorce after the way she has behaved with us all and we are afraid that if she comes back she can probably create or make situation even worse...

are there any ways we can make them go in for mutual consent?? how much is legal mediation dept helpful if we go for it?? can you further enlighten me??

K.K.Ganguly (Advocate) 13 July 2014

1. My first advice is not to blindly depend on what the police people said. You will be shocked to find hat the same police people are chasing you to arrest you with the sole intension to extract huge money from you for not arresting you, should your wife lodges FIR against you u/s498A of IPC. such demand for money goes even upto Rs.5 lakhs depending on the size of your purse, 2. There are two ways left before you as under: a) File an application for restitution of conjugal right and after getting favourable order from the Court directing your wife to join you, wait for 1 year for her joining you. If she still refuses to join you, file a divorce suit. This is a sure way to get divorce in case she refuses to join you but is very time taking process. I do not recommend it. b) You manage to take a transfer to her place of employment and send her a legal notice to join you within 7 days. If she fails, file a divorce suit. 3. Please note that she has the right to work at a place different from where you are staying. You can not force her to resign and join you at your city. Court will not except such ground. That is why you should manage to take a transfer to her place of working and ask her to join you. In this case she will have no excuse to refuse to join you and if she still fails to join you, it will be easy for you to get the decree of divorce.

gautam (not disclosed) 13 July 2014

I agree with ESIS

if you file RCR, she can say her employment does not allow to join husband,

with so many adults involved in marital disputes, I sadly fail to understand why things have to go to court for solving.
If girls dont want to continue the marital life, they can engage with spouse and others actively and have a conclusion to the whole story (legally or out of court) rather than dragging things and putting up false situation which is even worse.