Child Abuse seeking protection

@uma

thats what i was asking here about protection or restraining orders for my safety sake

last time my mother barged into the house early in the morning at 6 and went into the kitchen throwing utensils.

she just barges inside without informing and creates nasty scenes

1. Yes we do have restraining Orders which is the most common Orders we pray before jurisdiction Court and it can be effected upon by approaching a Court of law in jurisdiction this lady lives making herself and her matrimonial family as aggrieved party and her mother as respondent party. Dependent upon the relief granted (which can very as to no communication in any form to no visit or stray near an area of 500 mtrs. of this lady's home to no physical contact etc.) she can very well enforce upon the Orders on her mother via local Police or Court.


2. For proper understanding of the matter you can refer the case of BCCI and another vs Netaji Cricket Club and another 2005(1) SCALE-0121-SC.

Namaste,

I really feel sorry for you...forget both your mom and MIL....if possible shift to a different city with your hubby and live happily everafter...or take a new apartment far off from your mom's place, so that she finds it hard to come every now and then :P

MOving to courts, etc, can only worsen your tensions in life, believe me!

The most important thing that a couple should understand is that "spouse" is your lifelong support. Your mother has her hubby and your MIL has her own. You and your hubby hav the right and duty to decide about yourself and your family. Be bold and take a decision. As you have said, your hubby appears to be a good man, so you need not worry.

I am still happy to know that you are neutral enough to openly state the wrongdoings of your own mother and not just MIL. So, you can use your intellect to tackle the situation and save your life..Best wishes to you!

@Tajobsindia

thats what i was asking all the while

So, you want aggressive measure ONLY...

Here it is:

Go and file a civil suit of "INjunction" against your mother in family court.

Along with the injunction suit application, file for a temporary or interim injunction too.....if that satisfies you.

You can also claim damages (money) from your mom in this suit.....khush?

Hi Namaste: Firstly, who opened the door for your mother? If she has keys change locks. Use a CCTV camera or other spying device to keep watch and/or record her destructive behavior.
For Restraining order, Tajobs has given you specific advice. Also look into advice from liveandletlive.

@uma

i opened the door for her.

she barges in early in the morning. I thought its the newspaper guy who was ringing the bell

when i open she just intrudes inside 

i will get a restraining order but also im trying to leave this city and relocate elsewhere

When I saw your post first time, I observed that, some contradictions are there in your statements. Now I understood the cause of your action.

The story is this:

Your parents / mother promised to give a flat on your marriage.

After marriage, they were not in a position to keep the promise.

Though you and your husband ignore the said promise but your mother in law could not. She feels herself a victim of false promise. She orally / phonetically attacks your mother. This causes your mother to attack on you, as it was her expectation that she will get your help in this matter, but you disagreed on it.

Your present status is this:

You and your husband living separately, apart from your mother and mother in law. The party financially self dependent. Spouses are united. Outside attack of mom and mom in law is there.

Solution:

You treat it in number of ways. But the best is, you both have to leave leniency at this juncture.

The husband should tell his mother that, as the flat in question is concerned - “the said flat is our property and we got it. How? Need not to answer.” Therefore now onwards you (your mom in law) never call/talk to her (your mom) on this issue.

Similarly, the wife should tell to her mother that, now onwards, I shall ring you regularly, but please do not ring me, or visit my home, without prior information to me. If there is any call from my in laws please do not attend it. Where the said flat is concerned,  - your son in law has enough income to have it one. Just forget about it.

So far court’s interference is concerned, it should be kept out so far it is possible. I hope your straight and clear instruction can stop this fighting between your mother and mother in law. They are fighting in the name of keeping the interest of both of you. You both are unhappy with this.

Action of your mother in law is not so unjustified. She has a feeling of deprivation. But the way she chose clearly attracts the provisions of dowry act.

Action of your mother is also justified. She is anxious for you. Several cases are there where murder and suicide  took place. Therefore you ring her regularly at per your as well as her convenience.

@arup

we were living in the said flat for 3-4 years and then we got a flat from my husbands company to reside so we left my mothers flat 

My husband helped my mother to get a tenant on rent for lease agreement. My husband also painted the said flat. We told my mother to give her bank account number so that the person living on rent can transfer deposit and monthly rent into her account monthly

My mother called up my husband and verbally abused him saying that he as captured her flat and she said that im the real charltan behind all this. She said that she wants all the documents of the flat and the keys. To which we readily send everything back to her. 

My mother in law as never called up my mother on phone or personally and asked for the flat. She only asked it before marriage and now when after many years my mother in law realised that yet the flat is not transferred in our name so she keeps saying that my mother in liar, cheater. She as all the right to say that because the marriage bureau person also had shown her our profile since we were having a flat and her son (my husband) doesnt have a house in this city. The marriage was solemnised based on the agreement that my husband and me would be allowed to live in the extra flat that my mother as apart from the other flat she is residing in. We are just two children and the said flat was purchased by my father who died of heart attack. He had told my relatives before his death that after his death the flat will belong to his daughter my mother does not show us his will. 

This issue is not about the dowry, flat or any money. Its about pure mental torture perpetuated by my mother right from childhood.  She is just like any stalker who keeps following and causing harm. She attends my husband side relatives wedding without invitation, she visits his relatives house without invitation, she as poisoned my sis in law against me by feeding rubbish about me.

My mother as serious psychological problems known as narcisstic personality disorder and she needs psychatric help

https://mental-health.families.com/blog/dealing-with-a-narcissistic-mother

perfect answer by arup.hats off to him!

this is the best you can do.

as for ur mum barging into ur house forcefully,kindly fix an eye on your door,so that one someone rings the bell in the morning,you can check who he/she is.if ur mum is standing,dont open the door.pretend that u r not at home.

or u may install a door chain.so when u open the door,it opens partially becuase of chain.if she tries to barge in,she wont be able to.

also alert the chowkidaar of your locality that if ur mum tries to come,he shud lie to her that u both are not home.rather he shud not even let her enter the colony.

good luck!

@Roshni,

I cant close the door on anyone. My conscious would not permit that.

Neither i can tell chowkidaar such things its just not possible for me to morally do such activity

And if i could have done that then i would not have been in this situation today. i would have become

a criminal, psychopath or antisocial element long back because of the hatred i have inside..

somewhere deep down i dont want to be just like my mother.....