Need advice urgently

legal manager

Dear Experst,

Pls. give me a suitable advice in respect of the following matter.

One of my friend had a love marriage approx. 3 years ago. No issue till the date. Her husband ill treat her i.e. he use abusing words and also beat my friend (3 times till now)from money issues. Both are well eduacted and also well settled and self earned. Hw got very upset when he had no money and start to blame my friend. Her both the houses i.e. her mother & father & also her in laws are supported their marriage. 

She could not leave his husband as his father & father in law have passed through major by pass surgeries. She lives with her husband only beacuse of this reason, else she doesn't want to live with husband. After some time, her husband said sorry and felt guilty only for some time but after some days, the same things are happen.

Pls. give me an advice that what steps/action should be follwed by my friend to live her life.

Pls. suggest a proper advice, as she suffered through a major frustation/depression stage due to all this.

I suggest her to take the divorce, but she can't leave her husband beacuse of his & her family members.

I felt very bad that still in our country a woman can't able to live her life smoothly.

Regards

Pashyanti 

 

   

 
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Advocate/Legal Consultant (rpchughadvocatesupremecourt@hotmail.com)

Dear Colleague at the Bar, 

 

She needs to take a call herself. Depending on the way she goes - there are end number of rights that women have in the country and can exercise. If she refuses to help herself nobody can help her. 

 
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legal manager

Thanks sir for your quick reply.

Could you pls. suggest some of the rights that she can use?

Waiting for your reply.

Regards

Pashyanti

 
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it is for the lady to decide whether the situation has arisen where she can not continue any longer..........divorce is a situation when things have gone irretrieviably wrong.........lawyers come in picture only after the lady decides that she had it enough..not before that..a lawyer is to assist her in obtaining divorce....it is not ethical for a lawyer to dwell upon these personal decisions of the lady.

 
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legal manager

Thanks sir for your reply. It means only she can decide waht to do.

 
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LAW PROFESSIONAL

Dear Pashyanti, you are her best friend. You have suggest her to take the divorce, but she refused becasue she can't leave her husband  & her family members. What I feel is, your friend is still attached to the family members and is very emotional towards her relationship. Under such circumstances.. please ask her ..if the father in-law passes away what she will do? Will the attachment still continue or she will then go by your advice of taking divorce.

 
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"paani jab sar se upar chad jaye" tab hi divorce.  There is a lot of scope between them to resume their harmonious matrimonial relationship.  He does fault and later on seeks apology, but repeats the same behaviour.  This attitude can be cured by psychological treatment.  At this point, he requires the assistance of the psychologist and not advocate.

 
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Professional

Hello Pashyanti,

I understand and appreciate your well-meaning concern for your friend. At this time, the best thing you can do for her is offer her your unconditional love and support. With time, she might realize that her husband's behavior is affecting her negatively and choose to leave or she may not.

She cannot control his desire to get psychological help and she cannot force him to do so. But at the same time, you must understand that his apologising over and over again gives her hope that her marriage can be saved and she is clinging to it because like you say, she is attached to her husband and the extended family and no-one really gets married with the intention of being physically abused or getting a divorce.

I am also concerned for your friend's safety because living with someone who is physically violent is not a very safe situation to be in. So while I am advising you to let her take her own time in deciding when she wants to leave (if she does, she needs to take that decision herself, without influence or pressure from anyone). At the same time, if you can ask her to keep a phone with some emergency numbers with her at all times, save some money and keep it aside for herself and keep an emergency bag ready to leave should things reach a point where she is afraid of being hurt.

She doesn't have to do this with the point of view that she is deciding to leave, but as a safety measure for herself. God bless your friend and give her the courage to do the right thing.

 
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legal manager

Dear experts,

Thanks for your valuable replies. It really very supporting me.With all your blessings & support she can start her life newly with a positive hope again.

Thanks & Regards

Pashyanti

 
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lawyer

As advised above, it is your friend who needs to take a call.

Please understand that tolerating the wrongs on one person is a more serious wrong. She needs to react to the ill treating.

It is better to involve the senior members of the family to solve the issue.

 
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