Legal advice

Software engineer

 

Hi all,

 

I am a 26 yr old guy.I was in love with a girl for 4 yrs right from my college.Initially things went well and We decided to get married after we get settled in career.We had physical relationship.But later, she did few things which hurt me badly.She used to lie to me a lot even for silly things.When asked about it, she used to shout and abuse me verbally and even physically.She wud talk bad about my looks and compare me with other guys and degrade me.She used to comment on sensitive issues like my manliness, and call me impotent etc.A lot of times i wanted to break up, but she wud come and beg for forgiveness.I used to pity and accept her again.She used to promise she ll never lie or hurt me again.But again after some days,she wud do the same thing.This was becoming a never ending story.At last,we had a big fight and she herself asked me to get lost.She said she wont change for me and that she ll get 100 guys better than me. After that my parents started searching a bride for me.When she found out that,she came to my house and abused me in front of all neighbors.She said i have to marry her else she ll commit suicide writing a suicide note that i am responsible for her death.She even went to the house of one of the brides,which my parents had seen for me and told her that, she should'nt marry me else she would suicide.She also sent emails threatening her.Since then, she has been torturing me daily,forcing me to marry her.She threatens  to go to the police to file a rape case against me.Some times i wud get frustrated and tell her that i myself will go to the police and tell them what happened.At that time, she wud cry and beg me not to do so and spoil her name.

It has been 3 yrs now.She is not marrying anyone nor allowing me to marry anyone.She says she cant think of marrying anybody else except me.I m not able to proceed with my life because of the fear that she would create problems to stop the marriage.I m waiting for her to move on, so that i can also move on without any problems.I dont know what is her plan.I tried to contact her parents but she begged me not to call them.Somehow once,I spoke to her father to ask him whats her plan.He is not even aware of all this.He knows that we loved during college,but he says that he thought that we parted after that.He does'nt have any interest on me as i am from a different caste.I dont know what she has told her parents.He told that if we marry,his reputation in the society will get spoilt. He asked me not to talk to his daughter hereafter.But she is not leaving me.She  keeps emailing, texting and calling me telling that she will only marry me and if i don't marry her she ll die etc.I don't know how to get out of this.I want to move out of city and live somewhere else to avoid her but she has contact with all my relatives and friends.So she can easily track me.

My life is now stranded and I am clueless what to do. Can i take legal action on her before she takes on me?But what if she puts a counter rape case on me.I don't want to have any criminal record or else i may lose my job.Even an FIR on me can get me terminated from my company.So i have no guts to face all that.I didnt rape her and we had physical relation only with her full consent.In fact she herself came and stayed in my house where i was staying alone.I didnt plan to cheat her.At that time, we both thought that we ll get married. And moreover we broke up mutually.I have proofs in email where she abused me and asked me to get lost from her life.Now she says she told in anger and never meant it.My life is screwed up and i lost all my mental peace.I repent now for choosing the wrong girl at a wrong age.I know i have caused irreparable damage to her but that was not my intention.In fact she was the reason for us breaking up and now i dont like her at all.I dont want to marry her.Is there any way i can get some restraining order on her, so that i can move on with my life? Sorry for the big story, but the problem is really serious.Any advice would be appreciated

 
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Fighting Frivolous 498A case

Find a good girl and get married.

 

Once she sees that you got settled in life and have moved ahead...she will not harass you any more. However ensure that your would be knows all these or else you are in soup :-)


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Software engineer

Thank you so much sir.But what if she knows about my marriage and creates problems for me after my marriage is fixed.She has already done it once by trespassing into one of the bride's home and threatening them.If that happens the bride's life will also get spoilt.And what if she goes to police and complains that i ditched her after having physical relation and married another woman ?One more problem is her suicide threat.She told me that she attempted suicide three times but she was saved by people.I know it is surely a lie but she is continouosly threatening me.A friend of mine who is a lawyer told that,even if she attempts suicide, i ll be in trouble.I dont want to any criminal records on me as it will affect my career and future.Is there any way i can get a restraining order or something on her legally, so that she ll be forced to abide by the law and hence stop contacting me?

 
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Fighting Frivolous 498A case

I do not understand..you were not scared when you did many things..and now you are scared of consequences...Be bold buddy..


My non-legal advise, If possible move out of the city and find job in another city for 2-3 years ..mean while make no attempt to contact her..change cell number etc etc..and make all attempts that she can not contact you. See how it works out. Time is best teacher and helps forgetting everything, who knows meanwhile she gets hooked to another guy ;)


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Worker

ur confession is genuine, but not sufficient to save u from legal implications !!

 

advise of Never Give up may be the easiest way to solve ur problem  !


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Software engineer

Thanks a ton Mr.Never Give up and Mr.Amit Shantanu.I will do as per your advice.I will move out of country  or at least out of the city very soon.But since we have lot of common friends,it may be easy for her to track me.That is my only fear.Suppose she initiates legal actions on me, I will be left with no other option than compromising and marrying her,because i cant spoil my career and our family reputation by landing myself in jail.If she forces and marries me somehow, can i divorce her soon?I can never forget what she did to me.It would be impossible for me to forgive her and live with her.Is there any way i can get a divorce from her,under the grounds that i married her by force , without any interest.Can i get a divorce even if she doesnt give consent?If so , how long that would take?

 
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Worker

when u are having intimate relations, u are suffering to this extent.


now imagine, if u marry her, what would be your fate !!


forget marrying with her.

if she contests ur divorce petition, the case will go on for eons together.

 
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Dont Commit Mistake by Marrying her, as said It will take then years for you to Take Divorce, moreover she will harrass you for Maintenance & Alimoney,
Most of girls Take advantage for "Family Reputation & Guys Career".
Fear is your Biggest Enemy,
Explain Everything to your Would be Spouse, if possible Collect those Suicide Threat and Give Information to Local P.S.
In India If Girl Ditches you, Guy will be Questioned, If Guys Ditches Still He is in Fault.  Rest Advice is Sufficiant given by others.


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Software engineer

Thanks a lot for all your replies. If i leave the country and cut all contacts with her, will it be possible for her to track me somehow ?If she goes to police , how difficult/easy is it for her to find me after i change my phone number and cut my contact with her and all our common friends?

 
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Software engineer

any ideas on this pls???

 
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