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Inder P. M. (Sr. Lecturer)     23 September 2010

SMS as evidence, How to record

I am 32 years old, residing at Jaipur.Wife has a very quarreling nature. Due to this we (Me and my wife) separated from my family (My mother and three sisters (All married, two of them living abroad, one living in Jaipur with inlaws.)). My father died 25 years ago.
We don’t have child. See was pregnant of 2 and half month, we consult with three different doctors, but foetus didn’t grow properly due to thyroid problem in my wife. Finally it miscarriage on 5th Sep 2010 (At her elder brother home (Jabalpur)).
From 15th Sep 2010 see went to his father’s village to attend a function on 18 Sep. Now see is sending threatening SMS messages on mobile like “MAR JA TU”, “MAIN BADLA LUGEE”, “TUM SUB NE MIL KAR MERE BACHO KO MAR DIYA” like that.
Now I have doubt that she can file a false anti dowry case against me.
I want to know that,

Can these SMS be used as evidence in court?

If yes how can I make these SMS messages as legal document to store for future reference? Because mobile can be damage at any time.



Learning

 27 Replies

aflatoon dash (health)     23 September 2010

if your phone has blue tooth or infra red .Transfer them to hard disc of  any computer and take a print out with the details.It will be an evidence.Dont get provoked remain calm .Thtas very important.She is just feeling insecure and unsure of your love and is seeking your understanding and acceptence in her own peculiar way.

AFLATOON

Inder P. M. (Sr. Lecturer)     23 September 2010

Thanks aflatoon,

I have bluetooth, but sms can't be transfered to computer.

Also, will these printout will considred as evidence?

If see is feeling insecure? what about my lonely mother?

With regards,

Inder


(Guest)

dont wait , file divorce on cruelty basis. if she is in revengeful mood she can destroy u.

aflatoon dash (health)     23 September 2010

inder Mela,

No dont file for divorce .Dont suspect she will file DV.Remember friend she has hypothyroidism and she has quarrelling nature .This means she may be having untreated depression /paranoia due to her hormonal imbalance and child loss .She is agitated and has lost confidence in her self.Win her with kindness ,love ,respect .Treat her as your dear wife who is disressed and needs reassurance ......Document your efforts sincerely Dont think of divorce Its not correct .Its painful.Dont get provoked by her SMS .Send her loving SMS.DONT GET PROVOKED BY HER VERBAL OUTBURST.BE PATIENT.SHE NEEDS REASSURANCE AND TREATMENT

AFLATOON

1 Like

Inder P. M. (Sr. Lecturer)     24 September 2010

This is not first time, previously she had sent SMS messages. Is compromising always good thing? Can I go to court and request to keep these SMS messages in written format on paper for future reference? If yes, what would be the procedure?

Any other suggestion?

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     24 September 2010

Aflatoon, if both women and men have this spirit you have expressed, homes would remain homes and they will not turn into heart break homes so easily. 

aflatoon dash (health)     24 September 2010

Yes Renuka. Maintaining health of relationship in intimate relationship is responsibility of both the partners.One should not give up easily specially when you married someone.Ups and downs are bound to happen .Partners will learn from thier mistakes and srive together to make marriage successfull.I never advise to break any marriage till I am sure that one person is sufferring beyound limits and has tried his /her level best at the cost of loossing onself and the other person is abuser beyound repair.

Inder P. M. (Sr. Lecturer)     24 September 2010

This is not my question. I want to know about future safety. How can I make SMS messages as legal documents for future reference?

aflatoon dash (health)     24 September 2010

take aprint out from computer after transferring them into the hsrd disc with all the details.that is sufficient for protection.But purusue ur positive efforts sincerely .Trust your hopes not your fears.

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     24 September 2010

Inder, this forum discussio sometimes do deviate from the exact questions asked because the query has inherent scope for such discussions. If such discussions leads postitive approach on part of a few, it is a useful deviation.


(Guest)

i guess her irritability is due to her thyroid problem.

 

better to get her treated properly.moreover she's also disturbed that she lost her child.

 

i m not saying that u r faulty...maybe she's not okay..but u need to be sure..

 

if yes,then be more sensitive to her needs.take professional counselling.maybe u r unable to see why she behaves oddly and during counselling sessions, u will be analyse the situation more clearly.did u also realise whyshe blames u for the miscarriage?

 

if u treat her with love and care such situtaions will not arise.... it's my advice not to engage in litigation...what if u were cruel and she shows some proofs against u? then?

 

rest u decide..

 

Inder P. M. (Sr. Lecturer)     26 September 2010

 

Now she has started threatening me on mobile.

If she is only suffering with thyroid problem, it can be treated. But her attitude towards my mother and sister is very rude. My sisters (living abroad) are visiting once in a year to my mother's house. She always trying to insulting them.

I am narrating just one incidence, on last Rakshabandan (24-08-2010) when my 3 years old niece (my sister's daughter) suffering from fever from 2 day's, after consulting with the doctor, I guided to my sister that let take her rest in my room (As in other room there was 4 days young baby (born on 21 Aug) of my other sister). My wife came in to room and told that here she is going to sleep, she speed up the fan, turn off the light and snatch the blanket from my niece. We said her that she can sleep in other room, And started quarrelling with my sister and these are few sentences from her mouth...

“US ROOM ME TO CHOUN-PAYON HOTI RAHTI HAI, MUJE WHAN PER NEEND NAHEE AATI HAI”

(The baby is making too noise, I can't sleep there.)

“TUM PET NIKAL KAR APNE BHAI KE GAHR AA JATI HO”.

(You came to brother's house to deliver baby).

After this my maternal uncle, with consulting with her elder brother, instructed us (Me and my wife) to leave the house.

Now we are living on rented portion about 2km from mother's house. Presently she is at her father's village.

Now she started me threatening that she will take revenge, Stating that “me and my mother is killed her children”, “We had given her tension of excessive house keeping job”.

Even there was a permanent servant in house, washing machine to wash cloths.

I am finding myself helpless.


(Guest)

record her conversations in your mobile. and take pictures of sms messages.

aflatoon dash (health)     26 September 2010

inder

  1. give her the space which she has taken from you..
  2. Change your mobile company .
  3. Send card on her bday
  4. Send card and token gift money on your wedding anniversary day.
  5. Write a lletter to her stating

" when you are angry and threatening I feel helpless .I dont know what to say and how to say.I also feel rejected as you have gone.I also feel sad that We cannot have any meaningful conversation.Your behaviour towards me makes me feel low.I want to talk to you but for your temper I cannot have any meaniingful conversation.I value my feelings for you and when you are in good mood and you are not angry I will talk to but please deal with your anger and hurt if at ALL it is there in more responsible way and dont forget to protect your love for me.I just want to be treated with respect and dignity."

   7-Write neutral letters from your end to maintain contact and continuty and keep thier record.9regtered letter.

   8- Give her cooling time.

    9-Look after your health ,finances and keep yourself busy at work.

    HAVE PATIENCE

     AFLATOON

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