Need your helping suggestion

The divorce decree can be granted by two ways: firstly by mutual consent. Secondly if one of the partner intends to take divorce then he or she needs to satisfy the court with sufficient ground that he or she should be given a divorce. Your's will fall under the second category.  

In your case as much as I understand you intend to take divorce on the ground of cruelty. In that case you need to file a divorce petition in the court stating your reasonings.

Thanks P.Bashista. But what preparation required from my end for false cases? Because when the things don't go as she wants, she will take revenge isn't it?

Sir frankly speeking there cannot be a full proof strategy to safe gaurd yourself. Unfortuntely the kind of situation we have in our country for laws in favour of females it will all depend on your luck that to what extend you are able to save your self from the cases which she might  file against you. The major weapon she has is 498A.

On your part you need to collect all such evidences which will prove you inocent and infact to an extent prima facia are able to help you to get an anticipatory bail, if she files a case under 498A.

Apart from it she will also claim maintenance from you under DV Act and 125 of Cr.P.C.

As in your case you intend to file divorce on the ground of cruelty, so the more you have evidence related to this the stronger your case would be to get yourself protection (to an extend) from other cases.

@P.Bashista: Thanks for the reply. Yes I understand the situation of law. She will not get maintenance as she is working and earning enough to maintain her self. [which is my understanding after reading threads of this forum for last one year :-)]

@Need Justice:  Yes, I agree with your answer. But in my case, the problem is--whatever she do and say, in her family is right and they support her because she is the earning person. What I understand is that if someone is doing wrong thing and if you try to teach them the right way in polite way but still if you get rude reply, so what will you do? 

Thanks all for your time to read my post and reply. 

I still request experts in this forum to reply if they have any other different views and suggestions. 

Hai, 

In general I am expressing my views.  Later we will discuss about you and your wife.

1.   Have you ever changed your decisions instantly when others suggested?

2.   If answer is “no” you have your own views and ideas and  basic character of your own which is must for every one like your wife.’

3.   If answer is “yes” you are a man of without strong views and ideas and constantly changing person.  Means - for example somebody told coffee is bad and instantly  you stopped drinking coffee.  And after some days another man said that coffee is good for health instantly you started – likewise you have been continuously changing your attitudes and ideas – just think this situation.

4.   Your opinion: She has made lot of false allegations about me and my family members. – is this not allegation of you against your wife?

5.   She did not follow any of the things decided between us before marriage.  Why should she follow? She has her own ideas – she is following for which you are blaming.

6.   In any situation, she always thinks that she is right and whatever she does should be accepted by all my family members. – like wise you are also insisting her to follow.  What is difference between you and she?

7.    She is not ready to learn things as they are being done in my home. Not respecting elders, talking bad about them to relatives/family friends etc.,  – Refer 3^rd point.

8.   It is clear that she has ego problem and dominating nature. -  Ok she has ego problem – why don’t you try to explain and try to get her out from that ego problem as a husband.

Now let us discuss about your problem from your side.

You are thinking about you and your family members is she not your family member.  She is also your family member. Just remember your sister or cousin sister’s behaviour how she behaved and reactions to the issues. You will find maximum similarities you will find between your sister and your wife.

Always try to look the situation from the side of your wife as she is new to your family.  She needs time to adjust in your home. Slowly explain the terms and conditions and customs to her and try to explain her and allow her to adjust accordingly.

Try to visit homes of your friends and relatives as many as you can and understand the situations that are prevailing in those houses and their wives.  You will come to understand that the issues you found worse than that of yours still they are continuing their bond of marriage.

The above discussion is about to compromise in life and definitely tshe existing stuation will change (this can also be known after examining other families you come across)

Now what will be the future of you if you decided to give divorce?  

1.    You will lose honor in society as a second marriage person.

2.   Can you adjust with the 2^nd wife

3.   Can your 2^nd wife adjust with you

4.   If the 2^nd one also like first one – can you go for 3^rd marriage? In that situation must lead your life like a slave.

5.   You have to give maintenance till your wife’s 2^nd marriage.

After discussing the above my suggesting is

1. Try to adjust with her 2. Wait till the situation changed. 3. Her Attitude will be changed as time rolled on. 4. Let her come back and allow her to mingle in your family. 5. Always understand her behaviour and attitude in positive attitude. 6. Change yourself for her she will change for you.

Considering the above decide yourself and act accordingly

With Regards

B. Srinivasa RAo

Advocate

9948563635

Mr. Rao,

It is not a quetion of adjustment, because adjustment comes from both side.  While she did not live in her metromonial house after 10-12 days of marriage.  It mean she has some other plan or having some other relation.

Atleast you have spent time to understand the person (husband) and others family members.  If than they not adjusting themself only the factor comes to seperation from the family members not from husband. there after if differences still comes than only the last option (divoorce).

regards

that there is no perfect marriage but there are ways on how to make your married life happy.Never both angry at the same time.Never yell with each other unless there is an emergency.AppreciateSupport your partner. Acceptance.Communicate with your partner.

Niks. you need to decide very fast. at this age you will be able to start new life all again. but of course, that means after giving equal chance to your wife. try every possible means to communicate with her. what is really bothering her? Just in 10-12 days no girl will start reacting as wht you have mentioned in your query above. In case, she has a relation with other guy then 1. she will not wait till now 2. she will not accept to come again & stay with you. It means there is something else disturbing her. try to find out, this can be done either by you or counselling. Prepare ur pointwise action plan , after that come to any conclusion.    

@All, Thanks for your replies. 

You can understand from the fact that there is no communication between us for last one year.

When I try to initiate for communication via someone, I get reply with some conditions (which other party know that I will not agree) and if I agree then only communication will happen. I tried 3-4 time but as a human I feel that I too have a self respect.

If I was trying to teach the right way and I got rude reply and I have said something which is right, then it is right. Still why I have to bent down. Is it only because the law in our country is more safeguarding women? I completely agree that such law should be there but there should be something in the law itself which stops anyone (even if it is women) to misuse it. Just because law is women's side, that does not mean they can do anything what they want. 

I completely agree that we (husband + wife) should look at the situation from all the angles. But tell me one thing, who should be the first priority of wife after marriage?

Thanks.

Originally posted by : Rama chary cell no:9989324294
	that there is no perfect marriage but there are ways on how to make your married life happy.Never both angry at the same time.Never yell with each other unless there is an emergency.AppreciateSupport your partner. Acceptance.Communicate with your partner.

I second rama chary ji here.

Out of boiling blood nuts take decisions as to approach legal ways.  But seldom do they understand its a one way route.

Once you get in, no coming out of it, than alone.