Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Need help on rcr

Hi all,

I am thinking to file for RCR.. But as my wife don't want to join with me and staying apart form me since last 1 year due reason which I listed in my last query and here given below.. So as I am going to RCR, can I add some of these reason in my RCR file, for which she don't want to join with me..Off course, once I will mention these reason then she will get offended and she will get fired and inorder to show her face in society she will file false case (498, DV...) against and my family..As right now it is very difficult to now her real intention, so if I will not include these reason in RCR and after that she will file counter case then I may be in problem..So I want to include these, so in case she will file some false case, then I can file divorce latter..Dear Seniors can you suggest me on this??

Last Query on this
Hi all,

We got married before 1 and half year. As I worked at abroad, after that she joined with me and we both stayed together for 5 month. By the time she was not ready for family planning for long time. Then when she accidentally got pregnant, but she and her mother was not interested on that pregnancy and after that it got miscarriage (reason unknown). After that once she go to India she don't want to come back me and by the time something changed in her mind which is supported by her parents. As we did not have any mediator or known person in between, and as her house is 300 km far from me, so now I cannot able to now her situation. Now she is telling that she want to job at India. As he know I want to settle at abroad, so she is telling like this and whatever she is doing she is not sharing with me, even she is using different Mobile which she don't want to share with me. Now our staying apart is around 1 year. In between in a occasion our family she came, when I also came down from abroad. But she flatly denied to come to abroad with me Then I called to her parent to my home to convince her and send with me. But instead of they support for our conjugal life, they took back to their daughter with her all belongings, certificates and gold ornaments.

In between following thing happened:

Reason -1: My wife had 6 lakhs of study loan for her study..Before marriage once I knowwe cancel the marriage, as I am from lower class family which I might not support. Then her father and my wife say that that is not my burden. Her father will return it. Then we did marriage. This thing I don't have any record.

After marriage now her parent took my wife and they put pressure to my wife. For that my wife say that I will do job near my home, "it is not necessary to stay together". As my parents are in financial problem, so I have to stay here.. Then I raise this matter to her father, now also I will return her loan but as she want to return her loan what can I do?

Basically her parents are playing dual game.. They are giving pressure to my wife, but her father is outside telling that he will return the loan..

After marriage one month she stayed at my parent's home, then she quarrel with my mom and sister in law and left her mother home.. Now she is saying that I will not give excuse to every body...For that unnecessary making some issue and she took her certificate and her parents are helping to give job near to their home town.

By the time as I stay abroad, by this procedure her dependent visa also canalled as she is not here for renewal..

As I am already 35, then also in phone she is denying for getting baby in near future..and she is telling it is not necessary to stay together.

Reason-2: Again she had a boy friend before marriage, and after marriage also in my absence they used to talk. In one record that boy claiming that '"I am remembering you too much..unfortunately I did not get my phone no. Otherwise I might I asked to him (to me) to return to her at any cost. Then he tried to ask many thing about relation"" Then my wife also please don't recall me this thing. After that I ask to my wife why you are doing such thing after marriage. When I told to her parents, then they told that nothing wrong with our daughter, she had many friend, that is her decision, we cannot do anything. Even after marriage also her parents are in touch with her old boy friend in many matters.

Now:

When last time I raise all these matter to her father, he is not ready to do send his daughter , not coming for compromise and no any step from their side.

In order not to join with me (and hide some of her faults) she is raise small small issue about my mother, brother, sister in law, brother in law.

Ø So what to do in such situation?

Ø Now I asked to my father in law to settle these issue with my family guardian, but they are very claver. Although he want to talk but same time my wife directly told not to talk for mutual discussion.

Ø Can parent's have right to take her and give job near to their home town, with my knowledge..Is it not necessary to stay together (husband and wife) after marriage..

Ø I don't think in this case RCR will help for me (somebody suggest me, although it may save some alimony , but it kills a lot of time and invite false 498a, DV etc cases)

Ø In case is it the sufficient ground for diverse, as she don't want to join with me.

Now my question?

Now very difficult to know what she want she what is her final decision. Over phone every time talk nice, but she don't want to join with me.

As she don't want to join with me anymore..

1. I am planning to ask for mutual divorce through advocate and if they not agree then I will file direct divorce.

2. Which one is more effective after filing 498, DV etc. on me (once I file RCR or divorce)

3. My advocate say that once she will file false cases like 498a and DV etc, and get arrested then we cannot get anticipatory bail. We can get only regular bail.

4. If any fabricated case on my relatives, those who have govt job, whether these false criminal cases may effect on their job

Reply Follow

19 Replies

Neelam Narania (partner) 17 February 2013

Hello sir yes ofcourse you can add

(Guest)

Dont file RCR but file divorce and make sure you have ground.

Get sufficient evidence and proof before you initiate divorce.

Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Thank you for your kind information..

Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Dear Stalker,

Thank you for your kind information..I wanted to file dovorce only on tne mental turture form loan pressure from his family and his issue with past boy frind (which I have some audio tapping) and not willing to join with me since last one year (telling that she want to do job near to her house)

but I know if I will file divorce then she will tell that she don't want to give divorce and she will mntion that she got metal turture + maintenance..

For that only I planned to file RCR, with all these allegation.. So that i will have some prrof that she don't want to join with me..after that I can file for divorce..But here one thing that she will file 498and DV quickly once I will file RCR..

(Guest)

Once you file RCR, she has to show the reason for not staying in matrimonial house and thereafter she will anyway file 498a. If you have made up your mind to take divorce, focus on that.

maintenance is inevitable if shez not a working woman so dont dig too much into it.

Get evidence and file divorce.

Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Dear Stalker Sir,

Thank you very much for your kind information. As I mentioned that if I will file diverce directly, then for that my ground will that much strong or not? As per I know Adutery, dissretion or cruelty are the strong ground for diverce.. But for my case although she say tell not join with me (even during this separation she is using different SIM card and she deny to share her email ID too) and staying 1 year apart from me.. She completely deny to tell about her motion about what she is doing right now?

She is BTech and MBA holder and before mariage she worked for 1 year.. (6 month with 20K and another 6 moth with 7 K).. This prrof I have, and right now her claim is that she want to job any where in India..Not near my place.. I asked her to join with me many time and search job.. But she make many small small thing to stay apart from me..(reaso difficult to know)..

That is the only reason to keep some proof, I wanted to file RCR, then after that she will not join with me.. then it will help for filing for diverce infront of eye..

Can you suggest meon this..

If possible can you give me your hand phone number and your suitable time, so that I can able to reach you..Please help me in this regard, as recently I ost my father so I am bit help less...

My email ID is: ramaaryan236@gmail.com..

(Guest)

Bro,

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Why-not-to-file-restitution-of-conjugal-rights-43385.asp#.USCTMlfnuRM

Follow the thread and you will get to know the strategy for not opting RCR.

I am not an advocate and so I am not the right person to help you LEGALLY. Search the forum, you will find many and get in touch with them. Other than that you may PM me for any help.

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self) 17 February 2013

Hello Singha,

You cannot file in cruelty ground nor on desertion ground.

Reasoning:

1) Does audio-tape that you recorded have any conversation covering the physical relation with her ex-boy friend or proposing love sentiments by her to him at moment, even if it had any such descripttion of the past, it has no relevance to your current marital relationship to claim ground on adultery,

2) Wife requesting husband to repay education loan is not cruelty unless it is to a level of threatening that cause mental disturbances, do you have any evidence to show case this ?

3) You cannot seek ground under desertion, as separation period is less than two years.

Hence your filing of divorce will be premature, hence proceeding with RCR first will be viable in this case, but have it plain simple, not mentioning any adultery or any other harrassment if you are sure that she will not join you,( underline if you are 100% sure)

No other go like many of members here, you need to equip yourself to fight 498a, no other choice. Else wait for another year, to seek desertion ground.

In all probabilty, MCD is best, if not possible, waiting is wiser choice, but in any case make NCR to PS and get copy and preserve, meanwhile make all mediation and evidence gathering steps.

Chetan Joshi (Advisory/Advocacy) 17 February 2013

RCR was a wrong step...You could have emailed your wife to join and a non reply or reciept would have constituted her unwillingness to join....

Now you will have to wait for a while now and yes since you've intervened court, you may expect the unexpexted from your wife....

Regards

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com

Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Your suggestion 1) Does audio-tape that you recorded have any conversation covering the physical relation with her ex-boy friend or proposing love sentiments by her to him at moment, even if it had any such descriptttion of the past, it has no relevance to your current marital relationship to claim ground on adultery,

My reply on Q.1: I have record about their conversation after marriage that "Every time I remember you too much, where I did mistake that I might talk to your hubby to return you at any cost".. Then my wife say, please don't remember me? When I ask to my wife not to keep maintain such thing, then she became silent and again in my absence she keep in touch with him (past boy friend).. Once I raise these matter to her boy friend, his parent's, instead of any suggestion, my wife flatly told that she don't want to join with me.. Then she say that "it os not mandatory to stay husband wife together, many husband stay abroad and wife stay at Indian but still they are happy"".. All these audio tapping I have.. Even she say that getting baby is the not only condition for marriage, I want to enjoy my life..after that she is away from me, since last one year??

So hope this is mental torture to me???

Your suggestion 2) Wife requesting husband to repay education loan is not cruelty unless it is to a level of threatening that cause mental disturbances, do you have any evidence to show case this ?

My reply on Q.2: Yes I have recording that I will do job at India at any cost to repay my loan.. that loan was in my name, and who are you to say on this?? after that she is away from me, since last one year??Here before marriage his father committed that, that is his responsibility.. Now his father also playing dual game and telling that is her decision I cannot tell anything to her.. have audio record on this..Even last time we had a discussion with herself and her parents.. Instead of compromising they start a unnecessary argument and they say that, my wife cnnot join with me..

Before marriage only one time they allowed me talk, and then finalize for marriage.. Hope this is mental torture to me???

Your suggestion 3) You cannot seek ground under desertion, as separation period is less than two years.

My reply on Q.3: I don't think so, that we will keep happy life ahead in such relation..

No other go like many of members here, you need to equip yourself to fight 498a, no other choice. Else wait for another year, to seek desertion ground.

In all probabilty, MCD is best, if not possible, waiting is wiser choice, but in any case make NCR to PS and get copy and preserve, meanwhile make all mediation and evidence gathering steps.

Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Dear Chetan Sir,

Thank you for oyur kind suggestion..

Your suggestion: RCR was a wrong step...You could have emailed your wife to join and a non reply or reciept would have constituted her unwillingness to join....

My Reply: As I mentioned
As I mentioned that if I will file diverce directly, then for that my ground will that much strong or not? As per I know Adutery, dissretion or cruelty are the strong ground for diverce.. But for my case although she say tell not join with me (even during this separation she is using different SIM card and she deny to share her email ID too) and staying 1 year apart from me.. She completely deny to tell about her motion about what she is doing right now?

I have audio record on all these matter.. So will it work for me to file divorce? Hopw you misunderstood, I haven't file ant RCR or divorce.. Just taking the final decission from senior from LCI member, then by next month I am taking my final decission on this..

Nandha (NIL) 17 February 2013

@singha

your case is weak.. you can neither file for desertion nor on mental cruelty. Even after two years, if you file for divorce on desertion ground, she may come up with some reasons which made her to stay away from you. Again there is risk of long battle.

As advised by some members, please file a NC report in nearby police station.

Then, approach State Legal Services Authority's mediation center and submit an application to call her for discussion. If she comes for discussion, then you can assume that she will be ready for some settlement. But, if she does not come for mediation, then you can assume that she is hell bent on filing false cases if you take a legal step. Because, if she does not come for mediation, it does not affect her case in any way and the authorities cannot compel her to come like done in Police Station.

Last choice would be that you have to wait for 1 more year, atleast to make a ground to get your case stand in court and get ready to face DV, 498a etc.

(Guest)

Singha bhai,

You dont simply sit quiet and wait but make sure the seperation and cruelty count. Gather EVIDENCE in whatever format you can......thats the most important part...You talk to your wife, get the details of the separation either on phone or by email or by RPAD...or ask for marriage conselling or mediation in court...

Or you can even file legal separation or divorce showing cruelty and wilful desertion

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Section-10-Judicial-Separation-14489.asp#.USCiE1fnuRM

Once you initiate, the process of any civil case in itself take longer time and you may get an opputunity to negotiate and settle the bl**dy mess. Dont just wait for the non-sense 2yr wait period that has no meaning in itself.

And most importantly I WARN you any legal proceeding be it civil or criminal that you pursue will have its own adverse effects and counter cases. So when you are absolutely sure that no cohabition and recocilation is possible with your wife then only pursue the legal route. till then you may rope in elders, relatives or well wishers to amicably come to an understanding and build your case accordingly.

Singha Rao (Engineer) 17 February 2013

Dear Stalker Sir,

Thank you very much for your valuable suggestions..

Yes waiting for another 1 year simply make no sence.. That's why as I have did not sufficient ground for diverce, so I may try for other route as per suggestion.. And during this way I will try to negociate their compansation.. by the time I am ready face all false litigations, and I am rady to fight for all the false litigations.. No other way, nothing in my hand..