U are talking about visitation rights only.Are U not interested in child custody?
FOR UR INFORMATION I AM PUTTING IN SOME MORE INFORMATIVE ARTICLES ON DIVORCE BY MEN:
Why filing divorce can be dangerous for men
Having gone through the problems created by wives and in-laws, many men are fed up, mentally tortured, and plainly looking for a way out of daily uncertainty that has become their life.
So filing for divorce seems like a natural way to proceed. Many of them are also misled by the wily wives (and in-laws) who tell them: “let’s file for mutual divorce”. Our straight/linear thinking professional men don’t give a serious thought to the question that if the wife wants a divorce anywhere after 1 day to few months of marriage, why the hell did she agree to get married in the first place?
No, they don’t dwell on that question much, because for them wife saying “let’s go for mutual divorce” almost seems like a Nirvana compared to the being married experience they have seen thus far.
If you married daughter from a feminist family, then once you file divorce, any or all of the following can happen:
- Wife will file DV (domestic violence case), and ask for both monthly maintenance, and compensation.
- Or she may file CrPC 125 and ask for monthly maintenance. Here the advantage for her is that she may or may not make that serious allegations as in DV, so she keeps one option open to show that she can still come back.
- Your wife may file RCR (Restitution for conjugal rights), which means wife says that she wants to come back. Then you get trapped because in front of the family court, you appear like the dowry-seeking, not-satisfied-with-one-wife kind of husband that the old TV serials used to show. And your wife will appear to be the ablaa-naari who wants to dutifully go back to husband’s home but is so scared right now that she stays at he parents’ home.
- She could simply file HMA 24 to claim interim maintenance while you run in courts for next few years trying to speed up the case. Again, she will be able to show she is the hapless woman left by husband because that story is all too easily believed by the white knights in society.
- Wife/in-laws will file IPC 498A on you. This may happen before, after and any time gap with DV or maintenance cases.
- Along with IPC 498a, other things like IPC 406A (recovery of stridhan), 324 (assault), IPC 506 (criminal intimidation) and such sections are added usually too.
- The latest trend is that wife may file IPC 377 on you (unnatural s*x), IPC 376 (rape) or 354 (outraging modesty of a woman) on your father or your brother etc.
So what happens usually is that once people face these cases, they forget about divorce and spend their time fighting above cases. The whole scenario changes to proving you are not a bad husband/person from proving wife was not a good wife!
Most husbands who file divorce are totally unprepared
- They are unprepared for the delays in family courts of India, where the cases start after about 1.5 to 2 years and only after 5 years or so are pursued seriously by the judges. It’s also be design, the family court judges award only mutual consent divorces, everyone else is supposed to do the rounds of courts for 7-10 years at the least for having done the unpardonable crime of having applied a divorce petition to family court! Read this post where a recent example of delay is pointed out by Chennai HC, this kind of a thing is the norm, not the exception!
- Most people who apply do it out of frustration to get out of their situation. They do not collect much evidence, and all they have to tell the court is that their wife has left them and hasn’t come back. At maximum, they will have some messages from wife where she says that she will come back if he takes a different house, doesn’t stay with parents etc. Such messages will not prove anything conclusively whether it was wife who left him deliberately or she was troubled by her parents which will be her routine answer. The woman empowerment theme which is all the rage these days means that her words even if full of contradictions and lies will carry weight compared to his defence of his parents.
- They are unprepared to handle the DV, 498a, maintenance cases filed by wife.
Men file divorce, and then flock to men’s support groups
We had started discussion and community groups for men on WhatsApp and Facebook in Jan 2015. It has been going quite well, and joining these groups has given people courage to take a firm stand instead of giving up even before a ‘fight’. What is being seen is that many men are joining these groups AFTER filing divorce on wife, and then coming to us when they face multiple retaliatory cases by wife which can be any combination of DV (domestic violence) case, CrPC 125 for maintenance, IPC 498A to keep you (and family) busy in criminal courts, and so on. It is clear that their learned lawyers didn’t inform them of the 99% chance that your wife will file such cases after you file divorce case on her. That’s how the lawyers work, their focus (and maybe even duty) is about filing cases, and not getting any defined results for client. But it maybe not too late to learn even now for those husbands who have filed a divorce case.
To tackle this issue of rising divorce filings by men, and subsequent flocking to men’s support groups; I have written a book on the topic of divorce for men: containing topics like wife’s cruelty, desertion, false cases/allegations by wife, adultery by wife, annulment due to fraud in marriage etc. One reason of writing that book was also because many of our members were deeply curious about the topic of divorce, and when people are curious about something but they are unable to satisfy that; they will most likely head to a lawyer’s office in search of a solution, and the only solution lawyer can give is to file a divorce petition. He’s not going to look at merits of case, probability of winning, how many years it might take the client to get divorce even if he has good evidence, and so on. Lawyer will file the case, and then the client will be there for at least 1.5-2 years, by which time the client again starts to lose patience, and this time he comes to men’s rights groups asking about: “my wife is not coming to court in my divorce case, but she is attending all her maintenance hearings”. That is the rule, not the exception. If you are in same situation, what you are going to do about it is what matters. Or is there anything you can do about it at all?
To tackle such issues and reduce time and effort of MRAs getting diverted into these issues, I have written the book on topic of divorce for men. It contains more than 70 judgments on topics of divorce due to cruelty, desertion, adultery, false cases by wife, wife’s adultery, annulment etc. The best way to approach this book is as a self-study guide. Read the judgments (including my summary, and commentary), and make own conclusions about strength/weakness of your evidence, case (if already filed), and what to expect down the line.
