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sheryl francis (student)     25 June 2014

Ristrictions on education after marriage

Dear sir/ ma'am,

After a marriage has been solemnised, the husband puts a condition that the wife should not study further then after that what is the solution...

One of my friend has done her 1st year M.Tech and her husband has put up a condition that she should not continue the 2nd year. Is this a right thing to do??? no this is a frivolous ristriction  which is totally wrong. I want a solution to this. Isnt it wierd to have conditions in marriage. Marriage is definitely not a business.

Thank you,

Francis 



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 9 Replies

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate )     25 June 2014

Francis this type of restrictions are illegal and covered under domestic violence , no one spouse can put such condition, make an amicable solution with your husband and tell him you wants to study further hopefully he understand . initially don't go for any legal action , take him in your confidence and ask him about your desire for higher studies , you can also take help of your elders or family friends in this regard.

sheryl francis (student)     25 June 2014

laxmi kant joshi sir,

thank you for your response, but sir he does not want to understand and is staunch on his decision? and also the parents, instead of solving the problem and binding the situation do not seem to play any role or be seen in the picture. 

now what do you think should be done?

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     25 June 2014

She has been caught between devil n deep sea. Food is necessary to nourishment of body and further studies are equally important to quench the thirst of minds.  But can a woman's queer for further studies and ambitious careers be acceptable in male dominated society?  Any attempt from her side to pursue further studies invite matrimonial dispute. Now it is her call to take decision.  

sheryl francis (student)     26 June 2014

Sir, can you please explain the legal actions that can be taken in this regard. As they come under the christian marriage act and under the act there are just 6 grounds for divorce and does this fit under " cruelty". and Sir in this era where women empowerment is predominent, male dominance  should no where given important.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     26 June 2014

No madam. Neither the Indian Divorce Act (applicable to Christians) nor Hindu Marriage Act describes the demand of the wife for further studies as cruel act to entitle the obscurantist husband to get divorce.  But the male dominated society (including judiciary) looks on this problem in a different way.  The husband's allegation against wife that after marriage she has forsaken her responsibility of cooking, washing and dusting for the house and not producing and rearing the children and not attending the poor and old inlaws and abandoned the domestic chores for selfish reasons of getting good degree and later on acquire a position in higher echelons amounts to cruelty.  The judiciary will eat out of his hands and nod vigorously to his arguments and come to conclusion that even though pursuing higher studies is not a cruel act but abandoning the domestic duties caused immense physical and mental pain to the husband and entitled to divorce.  So, if she can convince him about his studies it is O.K.   Otherwise, he will knock the court doors and get away with what he wants.  But if she wants to pursue her studies and keep the marriage in tact, the only way out is that if he approaches the court, she has to take a line that he agreed for her higher studies at the time of engagement but reneged from his promise.  It may help her not to get divorce but not to keep the harmonious relationship, which is quintessential in matrimonial life.  That is why, I said that it is her call that matters - to go for further studies or to live with him burying her legitimate desire with a hope that when times go by she can change his view point and his obstinacy may reduce.

sheryl francis (student)     26 June 2014

At the time of arrangement of the marriage it had been discussed between the parents and the husband about her future studies. That was the pre cursor for the marriage to be solemonised. during that time it had also been put forward by them that not only they will get her  post graduation done  but also phd.

and talking bout the daily chores she did it whole heartedly and also took care of her studies and stood 1st.  she does not have any children. 

and now talking about the in laws they contributed more towards problem creation than solving problems.

sheryl francis (student)     26 June 2014

Adv. Sir by cruelty i meant, the husbands ristriction on his wife's further studies.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     27 June 2014

@Sheryl,

Try to read my earlier post carefully and try to understand what I am implying.  I know they had promised not to create any obstruction for her further studies and in fact they said that they would incur the expenses for her higher studies. But now, they go back from their promise and say in the court that they never promised as such.  Next, undoubtedly she must be doing domestic chores meticulously, but in court they put false allegation that she abandoned her responsibilities.  She must be giving utmost respect to her old in-laws.  But in court they lie from their teeth that they are himiliated by their arrogant and obstinate daughter-in-law.  The husband and his family will not flinch even an inch to tell lies so that they get divorce.  The only sin the daughter in law does is that she asks permission for higher studies.  As a matter of fact, this her demand they will not mention in their divorce petition.  This is the way how the cases run in the courts.  Real issues will be covered up and false issues are raked up.

We all have seen that a brilliant lady doctor, who completed her MBBS is asked by her parents not to pursue post graduation because it is difficult for them to get good husband with less dowry.  This is the situation in India.  If the girl studies more, she faces the problem to get more intelligent husband.  In our  male dominated society, men with a few exceptions never would accept the more intelligent and taller and healthier girls than they.  that is why girls compromise in their studies, in their food habits etc. so that they appear to be inferior than their egoistic husbands.  It is the fate of this most backward country.

So, if she wants to pursue her higher studies, she can do so but at the cost of her pretentious peaceful matrimonial life.  I just warned about the future consequences, without advising her to do this thing or that thing.  As a parting shot, I say that after the marriage, if the husband says that he wants to pursue his higher studies, every one around him will give a big applaud and praise him for his predilection towards studies than bodily pleasure.  If the same demand comes from wife, it is deriliction of her family duties.  God save this country.   

Venki (Fin)     28 June 2014

@Sheryl,

Your friend is at loss - loss situation. If she goes with divorce by cruelity, she has to spend months/years in court yard for getting divorce. She cant concetrate on her studies because of this. 

Even if she continues with marriage, she cant do M.Tech. Thus in both situation she cant do it. Better is to take MCD if her final call is M.Tech than her family.

 

Think over.


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