Husband filed divorce

 Depends;

1. If you want to re-establish matrimony then tweaking your past position (step taken) seek mental health treatment help from husband and his side of family for a better tomorrow. 

2. When you tried entering matrimonial home some witness should have been observing such attempts on your part. Those are your evidences. A person who prays relief from Court has to plead his evidences and in this case it is your husband who has to possibly pre-ponder ld. Judge to grant him relief of divorce by placing those possible evidences of constructive desertion on your part before the Court. Your job in instance court case is to defend your position of a willful spouse and deny his pleadings. 

2.1 Just yesterday I placed few judgments of Hon’ble SC on desertion (constructive / willful neglect) here in this very forum, suggested to get hold of them via Google search or from your hired advocate and read them to understand what goes on to establish and/or deny relief as prayed by your husband in instance court case against you. 

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Other experts advice are also expect and thanks for above reply.

Once I had try suicide and left home

Without knowing the full facts about your attempt to commit harakiri and abandoning the matrimonial home, it is difficult to give precise legal advice.  As you are separated from your child, I suggest you to file domestic violence case against him seeking the residential rights and custody of the child (under this very Act and not under separate Act) and seek interim relief of both these reliefs by filing interim application along with the main application.  On the other hand, do not neglect to contest the divorce petition on merits and take care how to put your pleadings there.  The language of your pleadings are like your above query, you will have very difficult times ahead.  So, at the cost of repetition, I suggest you to put your side of version very carefully in the domestic violence case as well as in the reply in the divorce case.  If you feel that due to your attitude and behaviour really you created a fear factor in your husband, which pushed him to the wall, then you talk to him and assure him such attemps would not be repeated at any cost and you are ready to stick to him in rain or shine.