(Guest)

Deseration coupled with illicit relationship

I got married 11 months ago. It was an arranged marriage. Before marriage, my wife worked in her city. As she was in educational field, she continued her job till the academic end for 4 months after the marriage and then resigned her job. She came to my home and lived for 20 days in my city. In the 20 days, she didn't show any interest in my family or household works. She was busy in her phone/internet only. We had some difference. Citing the difference, her parents separated my wife from me and took her to their home. Without my consent, they took her away. Her parent said they would leave/drop back in 3 to 4 weeks, but they never did. SInce then we have been living separately for nearly 7 months.

In the 7 months, I called her a lot of times, but parents avoided us. they asked me to leave my parent and live separately. And they requested my wife to stay with them, I haven't agreed to it. Among my relations, they spread a lot of false allegations and lies about me and my family, we have refuted mostly everything.

Our difference got bigger.After hearing her false allegations and lies, I have made up that I can't live my rest of life with her.It would be a shame to me and my family if I take her back. My family values are damaged completely. Hence I stopped calling her parents or her.

In the first month of our marriage, I came to know that she had a love affair with a guy before marriage. She hasn't openly admitted her relationship is an loved affairs, but indirectly told to me. Her phone details and facebook chat message/her friend are proof. I had got her phone call details to verify, but didn't get facebook chat messages. Her relationship with the guy continued after the marriage as well. After a big quarrel, she said she would stop the relationship with the guy. I am now quite confident that her relationship was not over, but it has been continuing in a covert way. I had got some proof as well: they changed their way of communication and phone numbers. We had a lot of difference due to this. After I prohibited her communication(70 sms per day and 1 to 2 hours of phone calls per day both before and after marriage) with the guy, she was changed completely and finding fault in each of my activities.

Since her past relationship was completely exposed to me and my family members, she is also not interested in marriage life with me. She is a money minded person. If I gave her money, she would give divorce me. I would like to divorce her without giving any money/alimony as she destoryed my peaceful life and I was cheated by her and her parents. She is a quarrelsome person and we won't have conjugal happiness. Hence I can't live with her. I don't know what to do. Please advice me what I can do next to end this.

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6 Replies

ishita (Copywriter) 23 January 2014

Talk to her peacefully and ask her what does she want? If she is ready to stay with you, keep aside your ego and start living together. Both of you would be required to adjust at some level and you being the one who has brought her your home, try and give her some space and time to settle in her new life and surroundings. Bend a little in the beginning and life ahead would be a happier one. But if she says she wants to end it, tell her you both would apply for MCD once you complete a year of marriage. Do not bring in the illicit affair matter as of now and not let her know you have proofs with you. You getting excited might backfire on you with cases being registered.

But first of all try and see if things can be worked out between you two. You are her husband and can speak directly with her instead of going through the parents routes. If the family is nice and her parents understand the problem, involve them too but be respectful. As humans we are no one to punish anyone for the misdeed they do. There is god to punish them and whoever does wrong always suffers in the long run. So first try to mend things the way you think would be the best way, if they do not work out then just disengage in the most peaceful manner possible. Do not waste your time running in courts.

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I need guidance now. (Harassed by Wife and her family) 23 January 2014

The sujestion Ish*ta has given is good for people who has heart. this girl ahd an relation before marriage and now she is still cont it then its of no use. atleast she should be loyal to husband after marriage. irrespective of what she wants its not correct on a human to desert for long time with false statement, and complaining telling lies is anothe part of cruality . do you advice for a compromise in this type of case. its better to forget her and go for DV. this type of relations will not get any benifit cause this girl has no heart or moral.

talk to a good lawyer and get the sepration by mutual concent. and let her know u have a life to live too and its ur right which she cant put in trouble.

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Biswanath Roy (Advocate) 23 January 2014

When your wife has greed for money then you can take that opportunity to get her consent in mutual divorce petition and submit before the court for order or you can go for mediation through Family Court.

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T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 23 January 2014

If you have decided to bring an end to your married life due to the observed goings on, you may talk to her about the amount she needs for final quit and then arrange to pay it at the second motion of the agreed mutual consent divorce, that is the only relief available now.

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braveheart (entrepreneur) 23 January 2014

I started this thread by posting the first message. I thank and appreciate each and everyone for their comments and advice.
You are giving new directions. It really helps to understand the issues better before taking any action. Please post your advice if you get any information related to it.
I'll definitely update my current status on this sooner or later.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 23 January 2014

Thank you for your compliment @braveheart; you may post your queries here for which I am sure that you will certainly get good and proper answers, you are always welcome.