Repeated adultery - separation/desertion

Dear betrayed

Was in very similar situation as yours. Can you answer the following questions for the sake of improving the quality and depth of response from the legal proffessionals.

1. Do you have any hard evidence of his adultrous affiars ? 

2. Under which marriage laws did you marry  ? HMA ? 

3. Do you have the "Doctor adviced separation" in black and white ? Is this his statement that he has been adviced to stay away from you ( so that he can be with his paramour ? ) 

4. Which Country/State are you, your husband and children in ? 

5. What does the other women do for a living ? Is she married too ? Does she have children ? Can you contact her ? 

# If  you want to preserve the family from breaking down, I would suggest you both go for counselling together. 

# You need to start looking out for yourself and develop strategy to protect family assets and properties. He may be spending family/community cash and assets on his whores. 

# No counseller would advice that the cheating partner stay away for an extended duration of 3 months, unless he has acquired some veneral diseases. 

 He is going counselling and his doctors have adviced an immediate separation.

1) can I stop him?

No. You cannot stop him.  No one can stop other one to move out.

2) If he leaves and docs keep on extending time period (1st they said 1 month, now extending to 3-4 months) - what do i do then

You can file RCR, which is quite useless.  You can file case for shared household and maintenance for yourself and the child.

3) I am earning very little as am a freelance writer. what maintanence will i be entitled to. We live in a rented flat and husband pays rent. a lawyer tod me I can get as little as 1/5th of his salary.... which is nothing and cannot possibly meet my and our son's expenses at all.... How can i ensure i get good maintenance.

About 1/3rd to 1/2 of his income for your and son's maintenance. In future also, once court gives shared household order, he will pay rent. 

4) i am told i can refuse to give divorce unless mutual divorce on financial terms i agree with is workable - is that so?

Yes.

5) basically, if he separates and does not return - what wd my next step have to be?

As I said earlier, you can file maintenance case and DV case for shared household.

6) At present he and his counsellor say - I and child do not need to move out, insetead he will move out and continue to pay rent and send me money as now for 3 months. If I agree and he doesn't return - then wl I hv to file in family court for maintenance? what about rent, child's education, my expenses etc?

You can file cases as said above.

Dear Ms X

The kind of situaton is really troublesome, The court of Law is in favour of restoring family bondings with every possible manner. i advise to consult the parents, relatives and real friends before going to court. And above all this is the time a women should stand with confidence and show her capabilities.

Why would doctor suggest seperation rather than asking him to mend his ways?

Are you sure it is the doctor advising him? I would suggest you change the doctor. 

Maintenance is the right of your child. He can not be denied that. As far as you are concerned, it would depend upon your income and all whether you would get any maintenance or not.

Must say, you have a big heart to forgive something like adultery and that too repeated. But your forgiveness should not be taken by him as consent for his wayward life.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com