Hello,
My marriage is not consummated for 3 years. Before marriage she said she is afraid of intercourse and told me she would need time. After marriage came to know she gets violent for small things and starts to throw things and threatens to suicide.
I informed her parents after one year of suffering and after showing her to different doctors - gynacologist, psychatrist, reiki, ayurvedic doctors etc - and of no use. She is having Vaginismus - severe contraction of legs and v**ginal muscles out of fear of penetration. I have a medical report with me.
I was not able to work in office in Delhi and Hyderabad - where i used to keep getting calls from home and threaten of suicide if there was a fight in the morning. These fights and threats were as frequent as once or thrice in a month.
I got fed up after a year and told her to work at previous company far from my work place and stay at her parents place or in a PG in Bangalore. After a month or two when her parents neighbours started asking them questions, they asked me to take her with me. I told her parents that our marriage is not consummated and I am afraid she might commit suicide. Her father threatened me to take her with me or would file police complaint.
For past three years I tried all possible things - about an year each .(1) we together out of bangalore in my work place - she spending time at home - she would not find a job. (2) she in Bangalore working in old company and we meeting every weekend. (3) Now since my life is not going anywhere, I left my good job and thought of staying with her - since she said I do not give her enough time and thats why there is fight.
There is no improvement in her. Whenever there is a trivial issue there is a fight and it goes physical. While protecting myself i would have to push her or hold her. I am afraid during these fights if she gets injured seriously her parents would go to police with complaint against me. They have gone to police several times in the past over other issues they faced. And have threatened me once.
I am fed up of all this and I do not want to spend rest of my life suffering like this. She does not get adjusted to My old parents and my parents are staying separately. After one year they are going to retire and they are thinking of staying away from me because of my wifes not gelling with them. My parents need help in their old age and it would be difficult for me to stay away from them when they need me.
I talked about divorce to my wife and she does all kinds of weeping, crying and begging and sometime threatening to use legal to ensure to make it impossible for me to stay away from her.
Finally after all fights I have asked we go together to hypnotherapy and know whats her problem. Hope she accepts last moment. She has refused this in past.
Please suggest what to do. Thanks a lot in advance.
