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heart (partner)     20 July 2017

Live in relationship

I got married in the year of 2000, but soon subjected to extreme cruelty by my wife with 498A/125 and other related cases. After fighting a lot, with significant harassment, I got rescued myself and my innocent parents. I got mutual divorce. Since then, I am alone.
 
Currently, I am feeling of getting old, and genuine need of a life partner. But I have no energy left in me to face similar situation once again. What I always felt that marriage in India invites 125/498A/504/34/DV cases and may be 50% of property and alimony on divorce. 
 
I am interested for a live-in relationship, possibly lifelong. I would also like to sign a legal agreement with my future partner to ensure that I would take all her responsibility, but she would not harass me with any court cases. 
 
May I know the legal aspects of the matter? I guess live in relationship is much safer for male than marriage. Or at least less harmful. 
 
Can someone please provide me with appropriate advice please?


Learning

 8 Replies


(Guest)

Gentleman, very sorry to learn whatever happened with you. 

To my knowledge (my lawyer friends correct me please) there is no law in India hovering around Live In relationship which has primarily came from Western countries. Although, often I see some judgements which do speak about Live In relationships. 

The best is to seek for a life partner on Social media, socialise for a considerable period till you gain her background and insight on thought process and then propose a mutually agreeable relationship either in the framework of Marriage or Live In whatever deem fit. I do understand that destiny had been cruel for you in the past but have a positive outlook and take a calculated risk.

Rishi kumar   20 July 2017

Respected heart, 

it it is true that cases like these can sap your energy dry. But even in live in relationships, she can slap a DV case against you. 

I will write here what I feel. Can go for a well enquired, arranged marriage. Avoid divorcees.  Keep a proof for everything. No demands, no dowry but get it in writing by a set of people from either side. Pay everything by credit card. Preserve bills with names. Keep a hard disk full of photos of each outing. Even get the provisions home delivered every month by paying with your credit card. Otherwise she will say he made me go hungry.  Keep a dairy. Write only good things. But keep a tab of where you were on any given date. If she asks say disarmingly that I fell into hot water once, so scared of even cold water. Dear, life has to go on. Trust God, do the right things but be more careful. Now a days love is not blind, it can see material comforts. So keep a list. Talk softly, allow her people to dominate, any way they will. We never had any guarantee when we were born, so let be. Go ahead and find out someone. Good luck.

2 Like

(Guest)

Rishi yes yes yes

Heart , Cheer up, there is definitly good for you in store heart

 

1 Like

A walk alone (-)     20 July 2017

Nobody can stop you from live-in relationship. 498A abuse has become normal and lost 95% of sting. There is new monster in legal system false 376 complaints. There is a LOT of sting if you are accused in 376 case. Live in relationships have risk of turning into 376 case. If you stay away from greedy women then you may be fine but it is hard to tell these days.

Online.498a.DV.Act.Crusader   20 July 2017

IPC Section 376

376. 1. Whoever, except in the cases provided for in sub-section (2), commits rape, shall be punished with rigorous imprisonment of either descripttion for a term which shall not he less than seven years, but which may extend to imprisonment for life, and shall also be liable to fine

Section 2 of PWDVA 2005

Shared household4 is the household where the aggrieved person and the respondent have
lived together in a domestic relationship. The household need not be owned by either of the
parties. All that needs to be established is that both parties have resided in the place together.

Aggrieved person1 defines who can initiate proceedings under the PWDVA. This includes
women who allege that they have faced domestic violence from the respondent.

Monetary relief: To reimburse the aggrieved person actual expenses incurred due to domestic
violence, such as medical expenditure and the loss of earning, as well as maintenance.

Compensation orders: For mental torture and emotional distress caused to the aggrieved
person, which may be in addition to orders for monetary relief.

Interim and ex parte orders: Can be granted before final orders on proof of a prima facie case
to maintain status quo and to prevent the respondent from committing any act that detrimentally affects the rights of the aggrieved person recognized under the PWDVA.

My opinion:

You could not live with this one, you cant live with anyone.

If you had to live with this one, you would have lived, happily or unhappily.  You dont know to adjust. If wife is not ready to adjust, husband should adjust.  Only then marriage will survive.

If you want to for for live-in.  Person like you will go to jail under rape.  or end up paying alimony under DV act.

Dont venture into remarriage or live in.

You can ask yourself this question. Am I a person who will adjust with anyone?

The answer is no. Dont agree?  See your divorce decree. That itself is proof that you wont adjust with anyone.

Adopt a kid and look after it, give life to a orphan, atleast that will be more satisfying experience than feeding a female who will never be faithful and always being scared of going to jail.

Your parents have seen enough because of you, at least now give them some happiness by adopting a kid.  Think big.  Have a big heart, adopt a orphan.

Live-in relationship will not last even a month and it will end worse than your marriage.  Dont spend the rest of your ilving days roaming to court and police statiion.  Even if you do, please think about your parents, at this age they go stand in police station  because of the great mistake they made?

Think about adoption.  Good luck.

1 Like

Ms. Usha Hegde (CEO)     21 July 2017

The above advice consorts with the problem at hand.

I think there cannot be a more precise answer to the solution than what is posted above by ONLINE fighter.  Liked the reply.

heart (partner)     27 July 2017

Thanks to all for replying. 

I wanted to know how the IPC 376 or DV Act will be applied, if both the parties willfully signs an legally valid agreement before entering into such live in relationship. The terms and conditions can be that both the parties consents willfully to enter into the relationship and they will not be involved into any litigation in any Court of Law in future. In case there is any dispute, both the parties should resolve te same at home withut proceeding for any litigation in a Court of Law. 

That agreement can be signed and registered before the Court prior to entering into the relationship. 

Please inform about the validity of such agreement in the eye of law. 

Anand   27 September 2017

Very sorry to hear about failed marriage. While you may have had a bad experience with your first marriage, not all marriages automatically mean harassment for men. The key to a successful marriage is that both parties should marry for the right reasons. Live-in relationships may not automatically solve your problems if the person you choose to move in with has a hidden agenda.

The best bet for you is to find someone either through dating sites or traditional matchmaking sites. Be upfront about the fact that you don't plan on getting married immediately and that you need time to become familiar and truly understand the person. If a live-in relationship happens naturally, then it's fine. It gives you all the benefits of being in a committed relationship without having to go through a divorce if things don't work out. However, please remember that the woman can exercise her rights pertaining to protection against any form of abuse no matter what your relationship status is (and vice versa).

Live-in relationships also come up several disadvantages. The society has a dim view of this arrangement and if you have children, they will face some issues, there are legal issues as well. When you are in a live-in relationship, basic things like applying for a visa, getting an insurance policy, hospital visitation might become problems for you. Please read my in-depth blog post on this topic

You should look for compatibility, shared goals, attitude towards life, lifestyle choices and of course basic chemistry when you pick someone to marry to move in with. Don't rush into a relationship because you are lonely. Good luck and best wishes.


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