Custodial matter: The Bombay High Court case cited by you is one in which the High Court asserted exclusive jurisdiction when in reality it only has concurrent jurisdiction. The U.S. court can and will also assert jurisdiction. The U.S. courts are not bound by judgements of Indian Courts and vice-versa unless there are agreements under some treaties, which is not the case here. Judicial precedents are there for acceptance of foreign judgment in family matters and they vary across High Courts in India. Your husband could appeal to the Supreme Court if your matter is in Bombay and that Court or you relies on the judgment cited by you. Either way, the facts of your case favour you heavily in custodial matters, both in the U.S. and in India.
Alimony: If you are planning to reside in the U.S. and your husband initiates divorce proceedings in India, you ignore the divorce proceedings in India or delay them and initiate one in the U.S. Go back to the U.S. and the U.S. Court will Order alimony if your husband initiates divorce proceedings, given that you are unemployed. So a support system will be in place, at least in terms of finance. The divorce proceedings in the U.S. will finish much earlier and the laws are much more favourable in the U.S. for alimony, property, etc. In India laws are favorable to women only to allow women to harass men ad infinitum but not when it comes to financial matters. Hopefully, you are beyond that. If your husband intends to stay in the U.S., he will be bound by the alimony ordered by the U.S. courts and cannot waive any Indian Judgment as a defense. If he returns to India, its a whole different situation and he will not be bothered by what the Court in US has ordered. You need to analyze all "what ifs" and strategize accordingly.
Force: No Court can force you to leave your own country unless you have entered illegally or broken any laws of your country or a foreign country and the foreign country has an extradition treaty with India. None of this applies to you. Now with regards to your child, I doubt that any Court anywhere will forcefully separate a mother from a two year old child, especially a daughter.
Paranoia? Alternate Options? Nothing stated here by me is intended to encourage you to initiate divorce. In fact, given that you have a baby daughter, it should be the last resort for both of you and it appears, despite your long explanation, that your disagrements are simple monetary matters, regarded as ordinary wear-and-tear in marriage, certainly not warranting the extreme remedy of divorce. I am not even sure that a divorce will be granted to either one of you, in India or U.S. if the other party opposes the same because there just are not enough reasons to seek one,in your case unless you seek a mutual consent divorce. I am afraid that your concerns may be driven by paranoia. You can write reasonably well. Surely, with a Greencard already in place and a citizenship forthcoming, employment should be easy in the U.S. as well as here. If not as a software professional, at least as an administrative staff. You will be amazed as to how administrative staff in the U.S. can quickly move into management and earn a lot more, over time, then software professionals who mostly tend to stagnate in their career once they reach a certain point. There are many single mothers in USA who are in your situation. They are not suffering. You need to take a hard look at whether you want to be in their place. For a few weeks, take the thought of separation or divorce out of your mind as if that option is just not available and behave normally with your husband as if all-is-well and see what happens. Then come back and ask for advice. You may be surprised that you may not need any.
