I actually take offense to this. I am not saying that torture cannot be from both sides, but the odds are against the women's favour- As someone who is suffering immense mental torture, I have this to say. We leave our family homes and our people and live with the husband's family.
We are suddenly asked to change ourselves completely overnight and if we cannot do something according to the in-laws tastes, we aren't capable of anything. Our mother's teach us everything they know and was taught to them, but all that learning is wasted when we go into a new house among strange people who expect us to unlearn everything and learn their ways.. we do that too... We are treated like outsiders because we are not born in the family. Untill we have children, we remain guests. We are supposed to make everyone feel special , no one bothers to give us one special day...All they do is expect us to telepathically know what they want.
We are expected to adjust and sacrifice(two words I heard the most in my marriage) and not say a word . While anyone comes along and says what they want to and moves on. If anything at all goes wrong , we are conveniently blamed for it. If its not us directly, it must be the bad luck we bring to the family.
We are expected to work to bring in good money and then at the end of the day return home to cook, clean and look after the kids too. And in all thisif we want to take a breath for ourselves we are told that we are kaamchor. No matter what we do we are misunderstood and boycotted.
We are people who end up living alone with a group of strangers who corner us at every opportunity they get. Marriages are now not marriages at all. It is just a way of securing a dumping bag in the form of a wife and a daughter-in-law.
Men have the support of their family, we are left alone in the cold. we are twisted and turned till we become what they want. We lose our identities. Do you really want your daughters to end up this way? After all the effort my father put in educating me and gave me so much love, just for me to end up being a doormat.
And I worked, but after running around at work, I didn't have the strength to run around for the in-laws... a human being has limited energy. No one wanted to share my work load.
I have gone out in the rain in high fever to bring vegetables while my husband watched cricket. I have been severly sick and no one bothered with me.
This still happens. Inspite of all the sweet talk- she's our daughter now, she's a member of our family now....please.... It doesn't matter if it's 2012. If we cannot legally define our affliction, we have to choose the one that is closest to it. These laws help us that way. Ask the person who is going through it.
These laws are made by keeping the majority in mind. Nobody wants to end up alone and nobody wants their marriage to end.
And to those who think this is a matter to joke about...you are not the ones who have to cry alone or contemplate suicide. Just looking at your replies here , would make me not hire people like you for any case.