Domestic violence plus homelessness

Firstly, i would advise you to stay strong.  He is playing on your mind as he has understood you have no support. As time passes, his harassment will only increase but do not leave the house under any circumstances.  While you are there, collect as many proofs as you can regarding his income and your lifestyle. Yes, you can claim maintenance and will be eligible for the same given the huge disparity in income. 

I can understand your hesitancy in applying for Divorce as this is your second marriage.  In such a case, you can try reaching out to his parents' if you share a good rapport with them and involving them or any other elder in the family who you think can prevail upon your husband. 

Many thanks for your response. He plans to sell this house and shift to a rented property , don’t know why. I sometimes get really frustrated as every night I sleep with the fear that I will have to move out. I am tired of uprooting myself all the time. I have zero support in this city unfortunately his parents are obsessed with him and have been telling people that their son can leave his wives but not them, hence don’t see any affection or empathy from them. I was told that if I work ( though I work as a consultant ) I cannot get maintenance. If I file a case then I will have to look at my defence mechanism too ,it will be a lot of harassment plus will be expensive too. I am stuck now. Can I ask you something , can I travel for work if I have to( my current project expects me to travel), should I be informing the police etc before I go?

thanks in advance for the generous and empathetic reply....

Keep emotions on the side. You can get divorce on cruelty or desertion. You will have to prove either of the two. Desertion has to be for more than two years (I think) and by him and not by you. Cruelty is difficult to prove unless you have solid evidence. As for maintenance, the question asked of you will be why you are leaving separately. You will need a just reason. If you can prove that it is unbearable to live with him, you show your income and provide his. The Court will grant maintenance to you to live up to his standard of living. Conclusion: You need solid verifiable facts to approach the Court for divorce or maintenance. If you have the evidence, go ahead and you will prevail. If you are going to exaggerate allegations or make false ones, you will not prevail. Emotions have no place in Court proceedings. 

Yes, you can travel. The last I checked, India has not merged with Saudi Arabia so until then, Indian wives should be free to move around -:)

Why should you be informing police of your travel plans? Are you a criminal against whom there are restraints imposed by a court? I hope not. So, why would you approach police? 

So you are widow who remarried.

Once divorcee or widow or widower, you simply remarry for namesake.

Now in that yo uwant that this, who cares?

If you want to pursue matter in court, you will die in court halls. that is how family matters proceed in court.

Whatever it is, stop acting as abala naari and be happy that you have husband.

Dont rely on husband alone for  money.  

You also work. You earn like he does. 

Be a model woman. 

Begging is a crime.  Law has given women the right to beg after marriage/through marriage.  Dont degrade women pls.

So you are widow who remarried.

Once divorcee or widow or widower, you simply remarry for namesake.

Now in that yo uwant that this, who cares?

If you want to pursue matter in court, you will die in court halls. that is how family matters proceed in court.

Whatever it is, stop acting as abala naari and be happy that you have husband.

Dont rely on husband alone for  money.  

You also work. You earn like he does. 

Be a model woman. 

Begging is a crime.  Law has given women the right to beg after marriage/through marriage.  Dont degrade women pls.

So you are widow who remarried.

Once divorcee or widow or widower, you simply remarry for namesake.

Now in that yo uwant that this, who cares?

If you want to pursue matter in court, you will die in court halls. that is how family matters proceed in court.

Whatever it is, stop acting as abala naari and be happy that you have husband.

Dont rely on husband alone for  money.  

You also work. You earn like he does. 

Be a model woman. 

Begging is a crime.  Law has given women the right to beg after marriage/through marriage.  Dont degrade women pls.

So you are widow who remarried.

Once divorcee or widow or widower, you simply remarry for namesake.

Now in that yo uwant that this, who cares?

If you want to pursue matter in court, you will die in court halls. that is how family matters proceed in court.

Whatever it is, stop acting as abala naari and be happy that you have husband.

Dont rely on husband alone for  money.  

You also work. You earn like he does. 

Be a model woman. 

Begging is a crime.  Law has given women the right to beg after marriage/through marriage.  Dont degrade women pls.

Thank you for your email, only if you knew that I have been always the one who has been giving up. Who doesn’t want to work? It’s is a volatile market and I am trying my best to secure a permanent job, I have a contractual one, plus have no home to go back too. Restarting takes time. I do not take money from him , I have changed everything now just unable to keep up with the humiliation and abuse. Thanks for enlightening that begging is a crime ,is standing up for ones choices and respect is a crime too. One can just say and do anything and then say you work , have a spine etc. these things look good when you have at least even one support form your side. I have none .

thanks again for your response.

Hi Samir,

thanks for your response. Well I am a bit weary leaving the house as he plans to evict me and I don’t have anywhere to go. I do have proof’s on cruealty. His financial status compared to mine. Do you think it would be make sense to file a DC and maintenance case or I should just keep quiet and look for a job and move out? Quite frankly the lawyers here have confused me and there will be money involved too I was thinking of saving it to get into a rented house. This city is New and I forget support I hardly know anyone here so even if I file a case I am emotionally very weak to handle such crisis.

thank you again....

Originally posted by : N
	Thank you for your email, only if you knew that I have been always the one who has been giving up. Who doesn’t want to work? It’s is a volatile market and I am trying my best to secure a permanent job, I have a contractual one, plus have no home to go back too. Restarting takes time. I do not take money from him , I have changed everything now just unable to keep up with the humiliation and abuse. Thanks for enlightening that begging is a crime ,is standing up for ones choices and respect is a crime too. One can just say and do anything and then say you work , have a spine etc. these things look good when you have at least even one support form your side. I have none . thanks again for your response.

if husband not looking after you, there is defect in your relationship with him.

Why? U know. he nkows.

Now if he does not look after you, even courts cant do anything.  You can give petitoin for stay under government shelter for women.

There you will have to pay paltry sum of money per day.

Courts can order alimony, but if he does not pay, what can courts do? put him in jail? if he go jail you have to pay jail 100 rs per day for his maintenance. that is 3000 per month more headache for u.

Either you go beg on street or find some job. Dont sit cyring.

Originally posted by : N
	Many thanks for your response. He plans to sell this house and shift to a rented property , don’t know why. I sometimes get really frustrated as every night I sleep with the fear that I will have to move out. I am tired of uprooting myself all the time. I have zero support in this city unfortunately his parents are obsessed with him and have been telling people that their son can leave his wives but not them, hence don’t see any affection or empathy from them. I was told that if I work ( though I work as a consultant ) I cannot get maintenance. If I file a case then I will have to look at my defence mechanism too ,it will be a lot of harassment plus will be expensive too. I am stuck now. Can I ask you something , can I travel for work if I have to( my current project expects me to travel), should I be informing the police etc before I go? thanks in advance for the generous and empathetic reply....

Dear N, while i can understand your fears, it is only and only upto you to fight them and emerge a stronger person.  It is because of these fears that your husband is holding you to ransom.  If you ask me, in your opinion, you should file For Divorce and maintenance but you to mentally be ready to face the tough times ahead. 

He plans to shift into a rented accomodation only to deprive you of your legal rights. Do not leave the house under any circumstances. 

Even if you are working, if there is a big disparity in your and your husband's income and you are unable to manage yourself within your earlings, you will be entitled to maintainance. 

Yes you can travel and dont need to inform the Police too.  Only thing I would advise you is avoid travelling for some time while the situation is delicate. Go only if it is unavoidable.  

Well I am a bit weary leaving the house as he plans to evict me and I don’t have anywhere to go.

Nobody can evict anyone without due process of law even if you are residing illegally.  If you are evicted, you file a criminal complaint with the police and the magistrate under Section 145 and 146 of Cr.P.C. and in Family Court under the Specific Relief Act Section 6. If you are expecting dispossession and have a right to possession, then you can initiate a suit yourself.  I suggest that you file a NC with the police about your concerns. BUT DO NOT MAKE FALSE ALLEGATIONS. POLICE HAVE BECOME AWARE OF WIVES FILING FALSE COMPLAINTS SO THE MORE AGGRESSIVE YOU ARE, THE LESS THEY WILL BELIEVE YOU.

I do have proof’s on cruealty. His financial status compared to mine. Do you think it would be make sense to file a DC and maintenance case or I should just keep quiet and look for a job and move out?  

To file a divorce or not is a highly personal decision that no lawyer can help you with. It is something to talk with your family before you come to that conclusion. To file maintenance case, yes, you can do so but make sure that you have evidence first that he has refused to maintain you. 

Frankly the lawyers here have confused me and there will be money involved too I was thinking of saving it to get into a rented house. This city is New and I forget support I hardly know anyone here so even if I file a case I am emotionally very weak to handle such crisis.

Again its a personal decision. You seem to write well enough to draft your own legal papers. Family Courts are very lenient about procedural aspects. In fact, the Family Court Act specifically encourages litigants to represent themselves. The Indian Evidence Act and the CPC (procedure law) are both not adhered to strictly and all this is expressly covered in the Act. Lawyers will not disclose this to you because it does not help their profession.   But before you step into Court make sure that you have exhausted all other remedies. Indian Courts (or for that matter any Court) are not for the weak at heart.  If you are emotional about all this, get your emotions in control first before you file cases.

Thank you so much for your response. I must say, they’re balanced and grounded. As for my situation, in a developing story, my husband has moved out of the house with furniture’s , tv etc, has locked all rooms except one. He has moved to his parents place and I am obviously now isolated in a a space that is a bedroom and living area, kitchen and bathroom. Said he is unable to stay and I need to fend for myself. He would come to visit his property but i need to stay here. In a fix now, don’t have. A permanent job , plus now just living as if I am serving a sentence. He has been telling people, that he has not left me roofless, I am all on my own in a city which I do not know of. Really stuck! Don’t know what to do.

...my husband has moved out of the house with furniture’s , tv etc, has locked all rooms except one. He has moved to his parents place and I am obviously now isolated in a a space that is a bedroom and living area, kitchen and bathroom...

Frankly, for a single person, a bedroom. living room, kitchen and bathroom is all that is needed! For 90% of the world's population, to have this all to themselves, they will be ecstatic! If you really need access to other rooms (or need some adventure in your life), just go ahead and break open the locks! Make sure you have your family members living with you before you venture into this.

In any event, I see absolutely no way that you are going to lose your place of residence. It will take years for him to dislodge you through legal proceedings.
If you want a divorce, approach him with this suggestions, see if he is open to it. If so, file for a Mutual Consent Divorce with maintenance and other issues settled in the consent terms. Done... Start fresh! If not, file for divorce. If you think there is hope to salvage the marriage, then try to do so. But decide. Indecision can kill you.

From the quality of your writing, it appears that you should not have any problem getting a job. Something feels incongruous between your clearly well-educated writing and the pathetic state-of-affairs you are portraying.  May be its the emotional state of affairs that you are in. To cheer yourself up, think of all the miseries some mortals go through... handicapped ones, children without parents, homeless ones... So... consider yourself blessed! Have fun!! Cheer up!!!