Dear Vidhi Bedi
My life, liberty and property
204, Girls’ Hostel
The Law School
I am a student of second year (B.A.LL.B. Hons) in the same law school as yours. I stay in room no. 204, boys’ hostel and had been in possession of the same since the last one and half years. I take great pleasure in informing you that I fell in love with you at 3 o’clock on Thursday, first of August, 2008, when I saw you in front of the shop no.2, near Lenin circle, Lexis park street road, Pune. You were purchasing two note books of Navaneet publications at the price of 20 rupees each. Since the time I have seen you and talked to you between 3:15 to 3:45 pm of the date and at the place abovementioned, I have developed some kind of nuisance in my mind that is attempting to disturb the peace of my mind since the past 15 days continuously. For that purpose, I have decided to propose you via e-mail. Therefore the alleged lover prays that you may be pleased to carve out some precious time from your busy schedule and consider the following:-
1. My heart has cautioned me that it is skipping a beat whenever it sees you. It has further cautioned me that this perpetual condition may further result in sudden and grave injury to the heart. If the same is perpetuated for more than 3 months (the period of limitation) then it may cause permanent endangerment to my life.
2. I allege you of stealing my heart without my permission. I would like to approach you for a compromise or set off to settle the dispute permanently before I initiate any proceedings against you. However any kind of compromise would not be entertained if it results in damage caused to me i.e. my heart. For removal of doubts, damages included both mental and physical damages.
3. You may argue that you don’t know me at all and hence, you do not have the same feelings for me. Therefore my advice to you in advance is that we should meet regularly during a probationary period of three months. This will be the time when you can verify the veracity of my statements pertaining to my feelings for you and the degree of compatibility between us. After satisfying yourself within the 3 months, you may further take any decision with regard to our relationship. For clarifications, the costs incurred during the probationary period would be born by both of us. No further clarifications in this regard shall be entertained henceforth.
4. Any disputes if occur between us during the probationary period, shall only be referred to our parents barring any outsider and they will have plenary powers to decide the disputes.
5. You shall be required to provide me proper notice of your previous commitments regarding your earlier relationships that can be termed as love. The default of the same would be considered as betrayal and the punishment for the same would be life term separation between us.
6. In case you want to remain single for the time being and enjoy the usufructs of your blissful life, you shall have every right to do so provided that you confer me the right to pre-emption. Hence, I shall be your first preference among all the candidates for the post of your life partner in future.
7. You shall further provide me with the right to easement over the adjacent premises of every place in your possession. I shall have the liberty to talk to you for a time period without any limitation.
8. This proposal will loose its force without any notice to the other party in case of force majore or any other unforeseen circumstances that may render the implementation of this proposal impossible.
9. In case you fail to abide by any of the abovementioned conditions, any promises made during the period of probation shall be treated as null and void. After that I shall be at full liberty to break this potential relationship.
10. I have booked a 5 star restaurant for our first candlelight dinner together tomorrow and the booking charges including other associated fees have been paid. The receipt of the same is attached herewith the e-mail. The booking shall not be cancelled only if you accept to abide by all the abovementioned conditions.
Therefore the alleged lover prays that you may be pleased to consider the abovementioned proposal and grant me your unconditional love or any other relief you may consider appropriate. Alternatively the lover also prays that you may be pleased to grant me your friendship as a gift that I shall cherish for my life time.
I, the alleged lover, above named do hereby declare that whatever is stated in the letter from paragraph no.1 to 10 is true to the best of my knowledge, information and belief.