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latha (unemployed)     12 May 2013

Should i file a divorce first

Sir,

My marriage happened because of my father-in-law. He came with his son saying that he want better life for his son. My husband is 4 years younger than me. He insisted in this marriage, but he kept silent after speaking to me. So I called him and later he urged for sudden marriage. His mother was not interested in this marriage and she didnot come for any of the proceedings. His father, and my mother were the only evidence and the marriage happened in a temple. After that we registered the marriage. married since 9 months my husband says that I have STD and is not having any contact intimately with me. I examined myself with a lady doctor, and she said i have good health except for PCOD. I took tablets for becoming pregnant, i was scanned in 10 days and reported of fertile. But my husband still didnot accept for contact blaming the climate and some other fake reasons. Also he tells more lies and gets money ( nearly Rs.1000 ) from my mother daily,. Recently when I went to his house then he told about the divorce plans his mother has. He is demanding a car for his survival as he is not trying for any other job. Because of his habit of lie, we refused to buy him a car. When I started asking him about his mother's idea of divorce. I asked him, "What if you file divorce after we buy a car for you ?" He got angry and beat me up. Then I left his house and now we are living seperate for 10 days. What should I do. shall i wait for 3 more months to see whether they are initiating divorce. If they initiate, am damn sure they will blame me insane, because their motive is not in living together but getting money at any cost of telling lies. I am under my mother's maintenance. I am unemployed. My mother is worried of her savings being drained by her son-in-law. Pls advice me whether to file divorce or to wait.



Learning

 11 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     12 May 2013

1. First decide what you want instead of thinking "it ain't over till (or until) the lady sings" kind of psychic thinking.  

2. If marital life is becoming incompatible then best would be to wait for the marriage to be over 1 year old and then file under Mutual Consent Divorce.

3. Plain vanilla divorce without valid grounds except occasional incidence of one beating and monthly giving son-in-law 1 K are not that valid grounds for divorce under personal laws. Both can be objectively denied and shown as defence by his side. Demand for car by husband can be rebutted with specific denial; when once mother-in-law is pensioner so how she can give a car?

Go back thinking deep on para 1 and if convinced that divorce is only option left then opt for mutual consent divorce.

1 Like

hema (law officer)     12 May 2013

Your husband is fit to be thrown out.  He is a criminal for demanding the dowry in the name of car.  he is further criminal to beat his wife.  He is further criminal attributing STD to you.  Wait for 12 months and file case of divorce.  Do not forget to file Section 498-A case and DV case.  Your socalled husband is fit to be put behind the bars.

The above Tajobs India is a sham legal adviser.  He is as much criminal as your husband for condoning his beating as one time beating.   One Bangalore High Court Judge also did the same mistake and received severe strictures from Supreme Court and is barred to decide matrimonial matters.  This sham legal adviser forgets your husband's consistent demand of car and milching Rs.1000/- every day from your mother. This sham legal adviser..  He advises you to go for mutual consent divorce and forget husband's cruelties.  this sham legal adviser fought his cases against his wife and lost all of them and now behaves as your husband's paid advocate. Now he comes and hand out that in 98% of 498-A cases there is no conviction, so do not go for 498-A.  He threatens that contested divorce cases  take years together and you have to spend a lot of money for advocates and run to the courts and spend your entire youth in courts, so go for mutual consent and leave your criminal husband to his own fate.  See  how this b*st*rd describes your  physical pain and mental agony as "plain vanilla divorce without valid grounds" in para 3 of his reply.  This socalled sham legal adviser is as much criminal as your husband and the presence of these people only, the criminal husbands after beating his wife occassionally and milching their money running away with mutual consent divorce decree to harass some other innocent girl.

So, file immediately DV case, Section 498-A case and after completion of one year file divorce case and save yourself and other innocent girls.    

fighting back (exec)     12 May 2013

@hema......... Please restrain yourself from making abusive comments on a senior member of this forum......TAjobs is a respectable member of this forum....please reply in a professional manner.

You might be having difference of opinion against his reply, however your abusive manner in replying is deregatory....as for lawyers like you....you people instigate people to file 498 and other bullsh*t cases so as to milk them dry....and fill your pockets.....

what is wrong in the advice given by tajobs? he has given a practical reply to the author to carry on with her life... and not make her run around the court for years...your so called justice takes years to unfold. until then the author wont even realise that her hair has turned grey, has wrinkles all over her face and fallen tooth. this relization, however might be too late........

Nina Rakheja (unhappily married)     12 May 2013

Lolz....very funny reply by Ms Hema.

BTW I agree with her reply regarding the query..for other points seems they are old friend( :) )

generally impotent hubbies do make such accusations.


Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     13 May 2013

Originally posted by : hema, Law Officer
 
XXX

The above Tajobs India is a sham legal adviser.  He is as much criminal as your husband for condoning his beating as one time beating.   One Bangalore High Court Judge also did the same mistake and received severe strictures from Supreme Court and is barred to decide matrimonial matters.  This bl**dy so called sham legal adviser forgets your husband's consistent demand of car and milching Rs.1000/- every day from your mother. Bloody b*st*rd, this sham legal adviser..  He advises you to go for mutual consent divorce and forget husband's cruelties.  this sham legal adviser fought his cases against his wife and lost all of them and now behaves as your husband's paid advocate. Bloody b*st*rd.   Now he comes and hand out that in 98% of 498-A cases there is no conviction, so do not go for 498-A.  He threatens that contested divorce cases  take years together and you have to spend a lot of money for advocates and run to the courts and spend your entire youth in courts, so go for mutual consent and leave your criminal husband to his own fate.  See  how this b*st*rd describes your  physical pain and mental agony as "plain vanilla divorce without valid grounds" in para 3 of his reply.  This socalled sham legal adviser is as much criminal as your husband and the presence of these people only, the criminal husbands after beating his wife occassionally and milching their money running away with mutual consent divorce decree to harass some other innocent girl.

XXX  
 


Glad to know periods started!
Rx
Meftal spas 0-0-0

---------------------
Admin / Mods.
Thanks for giving men readers peep into abusive woman @ Hema's vocabulary. I for one is impressed by @ Hema’s vocabulary. I insist @ Hema's above reply be kept here live for posterity.

1 Like

(Guest)
Originally posted by : latha

Sir,

My marriage happened because of my father-in-law. He came with his son saying that he want better life for his son. My husband is 4 years younger than me. He insisted in this marriage, but he kept silent after speaking to me. So I called him and later he urged for sudden marriage. His mother was not interested in this marriage and she didnot come for any of the proceedings. His father, and my mother were the only evidence and the marriage happened in a temple. After that we registered the marriage. married since 9 months my husband says that I have STD and is not having any contact intimately with me. I examined myself with a lady doctor, and she said i have good health except for PCOD. I took tablets for becoming pregnant, i was scanned in 10 days and reported of fertile. But my husband still didnot accept for contact blaming the climate and some other fake reasons. Also he tells more lies and gets money ( nearly Rs.1000 ) from my mother daily,. Recently when I went to his house then he told about the divorce plans his mother has. He is demanding a car for his survival as he is not trying for any other job. Because of his habit of lie, we refused to buy him a car. When I started asking him about his mother's idea of divorce. I asked him, "What if you file divorce after we buy a car for you ?" He got angry and beat me up. Then I left his house and now we are living seperate for 10 days. What should I do. shall i wait for 3 more months to see whether they are initiating divorce. If they initiate, am damn sure they will blame me insane, because their motive is not in living together but getting money at any cost of telling lies. I am under my mother's maintenance. I am unemployed. My mother is worried of her savings being drained by her son-in-law. Pls advice me whether to file divorce or to wait.

Rather confusing query here.


You married someone who is 4 years younger to you.  Usually, its the other way round.  Say you are 30 and the boy is 26 still does not make any sense, who on earth would agree to such a kind of marriage unless until there is some defect in either of them.


Is it PCOD or PCOS, first one does not exist, second one is polycystic ovarian syndrome = less chances of becoming pregnant.


But if there is no s e xual contact, more are the chances of you not becoming pregnant.


And it does not make any sense, your young age husband gets pocket money of 1000 rupees per day!  That makes a montly total of 30k, its a cool job, get paid for being married.



Why on earth does your mother provide him money 100 rs okay for a unemployed chicken, but 1000 rs.  There is something more than what meets the eye.


Now the probabilities...


1.  He can prove that you cannot bear children and get divorce, courtesy PCOS.

2.  You can also prove that he has got ED or low sperm count based on tests and get divorce.

3.  If you and your mom are not keen to give him pocket money and also not buy him a car, then apply for divorce based on untreatable ED/physical torture.  Some may suggest you file a 498a, but that will be of no use, why?  Remember you are 4 years elder to him with PCOS, so if you opt for a DV or 498a the case will go on for  years and if you have thoughts of gettimg married again, there wont be much people left in the market for you to choose.  So,, My suggestion would be, instead of waiting for your young husband to file for divorce making XYZ allegations, and then sit and cry in one corner, you apply for divorce, you will get is sooner than if your husband would have applied.


But make sure your lovely husband does not contest the divorce petition, or else again you will have to spend time roaming court halls.  SO convince your husband to give consent for mutual divorce.


Wishing you good.


(Guest)

Infertility is not a ground for divorce.

Ranee....... (NA)     13 May 2013

Originally posted by : Helping Hand !







You married someone who is 4 years younger to you.  Usually, its the other way round.  Say you are 30 and the boy is 26 still does not make any sense, who on earth would agree to such a kind of marriage unless until there is some defect in either of them.

:)..Sachin Tendulkar is 6years younger than his wife Anjali.




Is it PCOD or PCOS, first one does not exist, second one is polycystic ovarian syndrome = less chances of becoming pregnant.

yes, but this is not a ground of divorce to be taken by the Young husband!


But if there is no s e xual contact, more are the chances of you not becoming pregnant.



And it does not make any sense, your young age husband gets pocket money of 1000 rupees per day!  That makes a montly total of 30k, its a cool job, get paid for being married.

You found this cool job?What if wife asks from the husband the same amount?Is it cool?




Why on earth does your mother provide him money 100 rs okay for a unemployed chicken, but 1000 rs.  There is something more than what meets the eye.




Now the probabilities...




1.  He can prove that you cannot bear children and get divorce, courtesy PCOS.

he can not prove because chances of getting pregnant is not 0% , moreover this is not a ground of divorce.

2.  You can also prove that he has got ED or low sperm count based on tests and get divorce.

3.  If you and your mom are not keen to give him pocket money and also not buy him a car, then apply for divorce based on untreatable ED/physical torture.  Some may suggest you file a 498a, but that will be of no use, why?  Remember you are 4 years elder to him with PCOS, so if you opt for a DV or 498a the case will go on for  years (this is wrong.No where in the DV Act , it is written that A YOUNGER HUSBAND CAN NOT COMMIT VIOLENCE ON An OLDER WIFE!!!) and if you have thoughts of gettimg married again, there wont be much people left in the market for you to choose.  So,, My suggestion would be, instead of waiting for your young husband to file for divorce making XYZ allegations, and then sit and cry in one corner, you apply for divorce, you will get is sooner than if your husband would have applied.




But make sure your lovely husband does not contest the divorce petition, or else again you will have to spend time roaming court halls.  SO convince your husband to give consent for mutual divorce.

How can she make sure about this?Is there any formula?
lol...



Wishing you good.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Ranee.......




Originally posted by : Helping Hand !












You married someone who is 4 years younger to you.  Usually, its the other way round.  Say you are 30 and the boy is 26 still does not make any sense, who on earth would agree to such a kind of marriage unless until there is some defect in either of them.

:)..Sachin Tendulkar is 6years younger than his wife Anjali.




Is it PCOD or PCOS, first one does not exist, second one is polycystic ovarian syndrome = less chances of becoming pregnant.

yes, but this is not a ground of divorce to be taken by the Young husband!


But if there is no s e xual contact, more are the chances of you not becoming pregnant.



And it does not make any sense, your young age husband gets pocket money of 1000 rupees per day!  That makes a montly total of 30k, its a cool job, get paid for being married.

You found this cool job?What if wife asks from the husband the same amount?Is it cool?




Why on earth does your mother provide him money 100 rs okay for a unemployed chicken, but 1000 rs.  There is something more than what meets the eye.




Now the probabilities...




1.  He can prove that you cannot bear children and get divorce, courtesy PCOS.

he can not prove because chances of getting pregnant is not 0% , moreover this is not a ground of divorce.

2.  You can also prove that he has got ED or low sperm count based on tests and get divorce.

3.  If you and your mom are not keen to give him pocket money and also not buy him a car, then apply for divorce based on untreatable ED/physical torture.  Some may suggest you file a 498a, but that will be of no use, why?  Remember you are 4 years elder to him with PCOS, so if you opt for a DV or 498a the case will go on for  years (this is wrong.No where in the DV Act , it is written that A YOUNGER HUSBAND CAN NOT COMMIT VIOLENCE ON An OLDER WIFE!!!) and if you have thoughts of gettimg married again, there wont be much people left in the market for you to choose.  So,, My suggestion would be, instead of waiting for your young husband to file for divorce making XYZ allegations, and then sit and cry in one corner, you apply for divorce, you will get is sooner than if your husband would have applied.




But make sure your lovely husband does not contest the divorce petition, or else again you will have to spend time roaming court halls.  SO convince your husband to give consent for mutual divorce.

How can she make sure about this?Is there any formula?
lol...



Wishing you good.




 



Ranee or whatever your name is.


Please do refrain from commenting on my advices to patrons/querists of LCI forum.


I give advices on the basis of my experience for a period of 14-15 years just in divorce, 498a, 125crpc, DV act, and other related issues.


Its for the sole use of the querirst, so is my advice.


If you want give advice which you think is apt.

Then please do advice, but do not comment on other members advice,


If you are drunk and it gives a high to you when you feel like commenting on other LD members advices, then lay of, enjoy the drink, sleep tight rather than poking your nose everywhere.


I have been observing your replies which mostly contain of abuses to LD members.


Get a life.

 

If you have any problems like the one described above, like you do with many of the advisors here in LCI, you stay away from my replies/advices.


Have some respect for yourself.


It is expected of members to share their experieces/legal, and nobody is wrong, nobody is right, as going legal itself is a gamble.


We are just a quick in and out solution,


The queriest whoever it is has to seek the opinion of their own lawyer who might agree to what opinion has been given by the members of LCI or discard such opinion.


Stop being a teacher to me.


Be a teacher to querists. 

In short:  STAY AWAY FROM MY REPLIES IN LCI.  if you have some personal vendetta, let me know.

Regards.

 


Ranee....... (NA)     14 May 2013

Originally posted by : Helping Hand !





Originally posted by : Ranee.......









Originally posted by : Helping Hand !












You married someone who is 4 years younger to you.  Usually, its the other way round.  Say you are 30 and the boy is 26 still does not make any sense, who on earth would agree to such a kind of marriage unless until there is some defect in either of them.

:)..Sachin Tendulkar is 6years younger than his wife Anjali.




Is it PCOD or PCOS, first one does not exist, second one is polycystic ovarian syndrome = less chances of becoming pregnant.

yes, but this is not a ground of divorce to be taken by the Young husband!


But if there is no s e xual contact, more are the chances of you not becoming pregnant.



And it does not make any sense, your young age husband gets pocket money of 1000 rupees per day!  That makes a montly total of 30k, its a cool job, get paid for being married.

You found this cool job?What if wife asks from the husband the same amount?Is it cool?




Why on earth does your mother provide him money 100 rs okay for a unemployed chicken, but 1000 rs.  There is something more than what meets the eye.




Now the probabilities...




1.  He can prove that you cannot bear children and get divorce, courtesy PCOS.

he can not prove because chances of getting pregnant is not 0% , moreover this is not a ground of divorce.

2.  You can also prove that he has got ED or low sperm count based on tests and get divorce.

3.  If you and your mom are not keen to give him pocket money and also not buy him a car, then apply for divorce based on untreatable ED/physical torture.  Some may suggest you file a 498a, but that will be of no use, why?  Remember you are 4 years elder to him with PCOS, so if you opt for a DV or 498a the case will go on for  years (this is wrong.No where in the DV Act , it is written that A YOUNGER HUSBAND CAN NOT COMMIT VIOLENCE ON An OLDER WIFE!!!) and if you have thoughts of gettimg married again, there wont be much people left in the market for you to choose.  So,, My suggestion would be, instead of waiting for your young husband to file for divorce making XYZ allegations, and then sit and cry in one corner, you apply for divorce, you will get is sooner than if your husband would have applied.




But make sure your lovely husband does not contest the divorce petition, or else again you will have to spend time roaming court halls.  SO convince your husband to give consent for mutual divorce.

How can she make sure about this?Is there any formula?
lol...



Wishing you good.




 












Ranee or whatever your name is.




Please do refrain from commenting on my advices to patrons/querists of LCI forum.




I give advices on the basis of my experience for a period of 14-15 years just in divorce, 498a, 125crpc, DV act, and other related issues.




Its for the sole use of the querirst, so is my advice.




If you want give advice which you think is apt.

Then please do advice, but do not comment on other members advice,




If you are drunk and it gives a high to you when you feel like commenting on other LD members advices, then lay of, enjoy the drink, sleep tight rather than poking your nose everywhere.

 






I have been observing your replies which mostly contain of abuses to LD members.




Get a life.

 

If you have any problems like the one described above, like you do with many of the advisors here in LCI, you stay away from my replies/advices.

 

Can you tell me names of those Legal Adviser whome I have abused?






Have some respect for yourself.




It is expected of members to share their experieces/legal, and nobody is wrong, nobody is right, as going legal itself is a gamble.




We are just a quick in and out solution,




The queriest whoever it is has to seek the opinion of their own lawyer who might agree to what opinion has been given by the members of LCI or discard such opinion.




Stop being a teacher to me.




Be a teacher to querists. 

In short:  STAY AWAY FROM MY REPLIES IN LCI.  if you have some personal vendetta, let me know.

Regards.

 

 

This is an open forum.Anybody can write his/her views here.But when poor querists are wrongly guided and if I am aware of it then I can not keep quite..whoever he or she is ..So if you can not advice her properly then don't advice.

fighting back (exec)     14 May 2013

@Ranee....please dont assume the advices to be good or bad given by other Ld members....as you have said in case of Helping hand...he has suggested as per his best thoughts and knowledge and ability, it is the pure discretion of the author whether to take the advices or not given by members of the forum,  and take the best decisions for herself, hence please dont pass rude comments to fellow members of the forum.......