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(Guest)

can a APP deal a private case?

Hi everyone,

Before 5 months I filed a DV case against my husband and my inlaws.After filing the case in a local PD office, they assigned  a Govt lawyer and informed it is for free legal service. This lawyer gave the information to the opposite party and made my husband ran to US and was in disguise all these months. When I asked her if she filed the case in the court,she said the magistrate is on leave and demanded money from my inlaws and helped them in all ways.

Recently we all had a sitting and the issue got compromised and came to know what my lawyer did. On the day of sitting, I agreed before all the relatives that all the issues happened just because of misunderstandings from both the sides and admitted my mistake whenever necessary . And i promsied them to withdraw my complaint from NCW as well the DVC. Now the NCW case got closed and I was about to withdraw my DVC in the next week.

Now my husband is not allowing me to withdraw by saying that the two parties compromsied, Instead he said their family frnd ,an APP at his place will draft the withdraw the petition and I need to sign on it,

On the petition, they wrote that I lodged a false complaint and I admitted my mistakes before all the relatives . After my marriage, I gave a aarthi (lit fire on the palm) in a temple as a sentiment,, So now they wrote that I had a tendency to burn and hurt myself . And also wrote all the allagations against the lawyer whom I appointed.

So my question here is 1) how can I submit this copy in the court ? 2) Does an APP has rights to deal a private case and helping in drafting?  If I sign on this copy, wont the lawyer file a defamatory case against me ?

I am bending to all these conditions just to live my life with my husband . They said once I sign on thse papers, they will arrange for Visa. In one year of my married life, I dint even step in US till now. I hardly spent 3 months with my husband and I was at my inlaws house right after my marriage. Is there any issue in signing ? Are they trying to cheat me ? I am confused.

Please advice.

If needed I will attach the petition. please help.

 



Learning

 14 Replies

Shreyas Zinjarde (Advocate/Consultant)     27 September 2010

The act as you have described, on the part of the APP prima facie, constitute professional misconduct. Secondly, demanding an apology as mentioned in the last para is uncalled for.  

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     27 September 2010

1. In my opinion a APP may 'privately draft' the compromise papers. He is not representing him I suppose nor he is signing those draft papers nor he is appearing before Court it seems on your husband's behalf ! maybe your husband is just scaring you with some imaginary APP name that he is draftig the compromise deed.


2. The whole exercise idea is to stop in future any of your false or to be proved cases against him and his side of family as alleged in current Complaint Format (menas array of respondents) which they are finding hard to believe to be true and your statement sin the present Complaint Suit seems to be false in their eyes. (off the records if trust is broken in marriage it becomes hard to convince the other party when these situation arise but there are always solutions to regain the trust - use a neutral mediator to pass your unbiased thoughts to HIM; it will work)


3. Post submission of withdrawal of Complaint Case Motion (here it is DV The Act complaint Case which is civil in nature) containing the wordings their side has proposed a Statement on Record is stated before the Court by you which is signed by you post recording and further reading it (the Statement). The statement sounds something like this (That I such and such has entered into a compromise with respondent no. 1 till Z and donot wish to pursue the complaint case, hence liberty to withdraw the same may be permitted to me…something like this you will be prompted by your lawyer to state on record) matter compromised.


4. It is further by way of a counter Statement recorded by your husband and other respondent in the DV The Act Suit and he / they signs post recording his / their statement(s) (The statement may sound something like this - I have read the Statement of Complainant and I donot have any objection if the Complainant wish to withdraw her complaint before this Hon'ble Court...etc.


5. After both Statements recording under Oath the Ld. MM mentions something like [I have read the statement recorded by Complainant and Accused and complainant wish to withdraw her Complaint suit before this
Hon'ble Court. Withdrawn as compromised. File consigned to Record Room]. The Ld. MM then signs the Order Sheet and matter gets closed (DV The Act I mean here as this is what you are asking basically).


6. A certified copy of this Order (Statement) of your two is more valid documents for any future litigation or what actually you asked here in confusion state. Since no allegations and counter allegations mentioned in above Withdrawal of Complaint Suit Statement on Record chances of re-opening a Complaint Case (especially DV The Act) are minimized. Even if it is opened by you then Rules of Res –judicta may apply.


P.S. : In my opinion if there has been any fraud committed by your side via your Evidences / Affidavits before Withdrawal Compromise Statement recording etc. then the case can be re-opened in 100 years time as fraud survives as per Law for nearly 100 years as per Hon’ble SC catena of decisions. But, as per your briefs all that emerges out is that husband and his sides are cautious to your call for withdrawal / compromise and if your are honest in your call for withdrawal of Suit then all you need is to convince him and his side of family that your intentions are real / true and let us keep all these as simple as possible. You may use a neutral mediator to pass your genuine intentions to them.


(Guest)

Thank you so much for your reply . I am being 100% honest and I clearly told my husband that there wont be any complaints in future on his family and him though I am not treated well and I will sign the copy before his lawyer, but I dont submit the same before the Court. But the APP is playing back and my husband said his APP is not allowing them to do so. As his brother needs to get married in future and they dont want any case against him.Cant I withdraw the complaint on my lawyers statement? I am just dying for maintaining  this relation and everyone are playing with me .I really bowed and bent my head before their family,but there is no trust in them.

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     27 September 2010

My humble thought.. Below were your statements..

 

"Before 5 months I filed a DV case against my husband and my inlaws.... On the day of sitting, I agreed before all the relatives that all the issues happened just because of misunderstandings from both the sides and admitted my mistake whenever necessary "

 

You must have ensured that the "sitting" exercise was done before the DV was filed. Once filed, wherther you like or not, everyone goes through enormous mental pressure. To be realistic, the important point of marriage,which is TRUST,  is broken. Everyone would be afraid to continue relationship and would like to take appropriate safeguards.

 

Put yourself in your husband's place. wouldnt you be doing what your husband does now??

 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     28 September 2010

Solution 1:


Put in upper caps "U.P." then sign. U.P. stands for "Under Protest". The signature will solve their current mis-trust upon you. And mentioning 'UP' where you are signing will solve yours confusion (whatever it is) in future in case you want to re-open if any and they can't take shelter then of your whole wordings of the compromise application read then signed as you can show to Court of Law that under pressure you were made to sign that is why you put UP before signing.


Solution 2:

I also agree to Annonymous suggestion i.e. regain Trust which is time process and may be you should not be in a hurry when environs of mis-trust around. Let the DVA case sine-die for some dates which will also show that you are not keen to persue it and matter is genuinely compromised as expected neutrally.

1 Like

(Guest)

Thank You, but my doubt here is how come the APP will not know the meaning of UP? And my husband is talking to me hours together over phone and talking so politely ,is he acting ? My parents are really frustrated for his acts. They were warning me that I have already cheated in his hands once and not the second time.

He deserted me and left to US and once NBW was issued on his name and NCW sent summons to his corporate ofice, now they came for talks. On the day of talks, they did not mention all these.

Why should this APP involve in our personal matter and he is the one who is injecting into their brains. Else everything is ok. When I am withdrawing the case for their benefit, they are imposing conditions on me ....Do I need to impose conditions or they? It all seems to be so funny. Cant I run conditions on them parallely? Whats the guarantee that they will treat me properly and  he will take me to US after I withdraw the case?

But I am still trusting them and ready to withdraw the cases. I already withdrawn the NCW case as it leads to his termination from US client company, When I am supporting his career and his life,y cant they trust me?

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     28 September 2010

1. Very interesting scenarios being unilateraly projected.


2. Suggested to just give TIME the healing touch in such scenarios and let the DVA case adjourn and you stick to your un-conditional trust to withdraw is genuine grounds. Engage till then yourself in some creative constructive activities to occupy the phantom of the mind.


3. I should not predict what could be end of your saga but seems there is no guarantee that he will take or he will not take you to
USA. Simple reason both of you need to regain that lost TRUST which may be regained with TIME. If you don’t have patience then may follow para 4 in assistance with your ld. Lawyer which is a straight forward done thing before Bench on next date of hearing.  


4. Your “verbal statement” before Mahila Court that you wish to withdraw the DV Complaint Case is converted into “statement recording” as then the Ld. Court asks the other side "she is submitting that she wants to withdraw the case? " I don't see what is even need for a proper 200 pages application requirement to withdraw a civil complaint case such as the nature of DV The Act is!. Hence, no need to go into so many loops of mind games.  

1 Like

(Guest)

They did not turn up to the court till now. They got a stay from HC, so obviously they wont come for the next hearing too. My lawyers said the same thing to them that I am the complainant and I need to withdraw on my statement, But they are not willing to do so. They striclty need the sign on their drafted papers and putting pressure on me. Even when we talked to the magistarte, she too said the samething to write a petition stating that we are withdrawing as both the parties got compromised. We conveyed the same message to them . I dont know who is acting behind the curtain. If I am not ready to withdraw the case, can I proceed with the case?

And what if they record the statement(mobile recording) that we had on the sitting day? Can they submit the same in the court and say that she admitted its her mistake and ready to withdraw the complaint.? Is it a valid evidence?

My lawyers(5 members) and My family and me went to the sittings. And I admitted just becoz they are so stubborn and I want the relation. so I took the blame on me. Now they pointing the same that I am the one who admitted.

They did not answer for the questions what we posed like why his son left to US without even informing his wife and changed his number and residential address,etc etc?

But we excusedjust for the sake of maintaing this relation. Now they are imposing conditions and conditions...

What is the best way to deal this and how to come out of this loop?

 

yodha (Consultant)     28 September 2010

1. It seems u filed DV case on instigation or support of ur parents.   Now ur parents seem to be withdrawing into the background.  This happens when people take recourse to law to handle marriage problems, without understanding full implications.  It is easier to shoot an arrow, difficult to take it back.

2. Ostensibly, u stated you are supporting his career by withdrawing NCW case.  Some magnanimity here!  But ur husband is probably not having such magnanimous thoughts are you are, so he is playing the game like you started it.  And u haven't denied that u started it.

3. Nothing stops wife from filing DV case again in future.  He is only doing to safeguard himself, since there is no law to protect husbands or their families.

As regards saving marriage,  I haven't seen a single case where marriage was sorted out after filing DV and such cases.  Even if u want to, the lawyers on either side, courts etc will make it difficult.  Or a short term compromise happens and again a new case gets filed after some time.

U can judge urselves where things went wrong.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     28 September 2010

@ Yodha

1. A very Good thoughtful answer - short and straight to the point. 


2. But then that is what a Lawyer suggests to do the first thing they meet a wife in their chamber and/or in legal forums like LCI i.e file S. 498a and or how to file S. 498a they teach and if that was not enough they suggest file DV Act 'you are a victim' and social 'non legal members' also start giving such advises left and right devour of any reasoning and make a perfectly all right wife who at one point was little confused now make her all out into a bala = abala.  


3. Now the que. is where is her lawyer to bail her out ! Is it now within his (lawyer) means to bail her I say NONE except with great healing time as factor she herself can bail herself out of such situation till then suggested to enggage into creative activities to engage your phantom of mind away from what happened in Court no other option there is in current form, may be a divine miracle (intervention). 

You tell me (Personal)     29 September 2010

Hi, I am not a qulified person, but sometimes words can change things. After reading this post I was little surprised actually shocked. You are in a situation where you are literally hanging but you don't know what you are holding and when it will fall off. I just wanted to ask soemthings which I want you to think, may be these can help you to come to conslusion.

APP can personally help or guide them, there is nothing wrong but he/she can't represent your husband.

1) I think you met with you inlaws and husband after filling DVC for compromise? why is it not before filling DVC case? You want to use it as bargaining tool scaring them? If this is your story then I am really sorry. You also mentioned that they filed it HC, I see their confidence level. Are you doing correct and your allegations correct in your DVC? --- Think about it.

2) People go through lots of tension when a case is filed like DVC not even spending muchtime together he may be trying to protect himself and his familiy and asking you to sign their conditions. There is another face to it - try to defame you (experts can drag this case into his favour also even if allegations are genuine). Its your trust with which you need to make a decision whether to sign it or ignore it.

3) To add to above point - why do you want to move with your relation after filing DVC? its just an advice, take it to law (family matters) only when there is injustice and its harmful for everyone. I don't want to judge you but I THINK YOU DEPENDING ON YOUR PARENTS TO MAKE DECISION NOT ON YOUR OWN FEELINGS. This will be very dangerous, you husband might be doing it to safeguard his family but might also want you back in his life. Can anyone gurantee that you or your husband get better relation than this? if you wish you remarry after divorce?

4) If your allegations are correct then I would say goahead with your DVC, but if they are wrong and you can't prove it in court back off and rethink as it will for sure defame you badly and your future. Think about reconsilation with your husband if you trust he will look after you properly. Don't rely on your parents words, trust your feelings. You are the one who has to live with him, he may take care of your than you think. Not sure where mismatch between you reevaluate it.

5) You mentioned he is talking to you for hours together, it clearly tells his intentions that he wants you back but with some safeguarding options. Trust will come back if both of you are giving importance to your relation and care for each other. I guess trust is broken from your husband due to your act going with DVC which needs to be healed, and it will done with time. No one stops you from putting onemore case even if you sign anything but for him this one needs to be closed first to give him confidence to restart on this relationship.

6) If he uses this contract between you to defame you then no one has to tell you or guide you, you know what to be done.

TRUST is very important in relation, its not who is right or wrong what is important is rebuilding TRUST. As you mentioned, if you agreed that its your mistakes in front of their relatives just to regain control over relation. I would say what you are doing is not correct, what makes a person GOOD person? living truthfully. If you really think your allegations are correct and genuine fight back, that way you can live with pride even if you loose. But if your allegations are wrong and won over your husband it will keep coming back in your life that much I can tell you.

I wrote it for you to think in all these ways and take a decision, I am not deciding anything for you. Would like to say something, if your husband is still talking to you for hours and hours I see his eagerness to rebuild it even after DVC. No man does it after his own wife defaming him, i can guanrantee. How can he build trust again on his wife? Atleast don't go through your parents guidance, you lived with him do you know him better than your parents.

Think again, is DVC case correct?

Hope you will find answer to your issue quickly, All the Best for the step you are taking. If DVC is not correct and your allegations confess infront of him and others. This will ease you up, and one morething burning harathi on your hands just for sake of something will make any husband go through lots of pain.

You name me if you like my advice. (Please remember, I am not judging you in my above post)


(Guest)

Thank Yor for your answer -" You tell me"

But once you read the conditions,you will know how dangerous they are,I am posting here for your refernce.

And what is genuine in DV case, pysical violence? Then I never experienced,but mental torture was there.I know what pain I have gone through and one more thing, till now I never allowed my parents to interfere in my personal matters. Its me who take decisions. Though they are all against him,its me who is supporting him.And now he is threatening me to sign on this page.If not, he dont want me.

So what if I sign and come back and say I signed just becoz of the pressure from my husband family and recomplain again? When I am trusting him, its obvious they should trust me. Okay, please go through the following conditions and judge is there any point where I can safeguard myself ?

Conditions should be in a way that they should safeguard themselves, but not to sink me in the ocean. Dont I have a right to stay with my husband after marriage at his place? IS there any family where they are not taking dowrry or marriage expenses from brides family? I know how  much we paid. I have all the reports of my health conditions., Dont you think they are preparing grounds for divorce after seeing the conditions? Do reply . Thank you.

If I sign on the below paper,and submit the court. it clearly tells that i agreed that I have Psychological disorders and Immuno deficieny syndrome, and it would be easy for them to give divoce . I am medically fit and I have all the reports for all the tests. If i do have Psycholgical problems ,I may not be in a condition to type this and think and how can I work for a most reputed orgainsiation like IBM as a manager? And most importantly if I sign on this page and withdraw the complaint ,after few days he will say you can be in India as agred by you in the 5th point.. Now advice me how to act for the below condition paper? Please go through and reply.

T&C for compromise:


1)    The allegations made against the respondents in the DVC and also in the other petitions made to other authorities if any are all false and are invented for the purpose of those petitions.
2)    No dowry or Lanchanams or any amount for the purpose of marriage expenses are given to the respondents(My husband and his family members) at any point of time much less before the marriage, at the time of marriage and after the marriage and such demands were also made by respondents.
3)    There is no harassment made by the respondents at any point of time after the marriage either for the sake of the additional dowry or for any other purpose.
4)    I resigned to my job(IBM, Hyderabad) only on my own will and wish but not due to the pressure given by my husband or his family members. In fact resignation was submitted before engagement itself not after marriage as mentioned in petition.
5)    I was never promised by my husband or by his family members (respondents) that they would send me to USA,before the marriage or after the marriage.
6)    My husband did not promise me that he would pay some amount to me every month for my expenses but still he gave enough support financially.
7) My husband or his family members used to look after me with Love and affection after the marriage.
8) I was suffering from several ailments like low immunity, near diabetic and suffering psychological by the time of marriage. I have the tendency to burn my hands and legs when felt that I did some mistake considering as punishment . When my husband did not pick call of mine, when he was in meeting , I went to temple and given Harthi to God on my hand. Due to this behaviour, I caused mental agony to my husband and his family members for which I am very sorry. I will take corrective actions and will not repeat it again. I have tendency to take Corex and take sleeping pills and took it even when pregnant which caused mental agony to my husband and my in-laws and they tried to stop it.Due to which I left their place packing everything and will not repeat this again.
9)    The pregnancy was terminated from miscarriage  due to lack of support and guidance at my home after leaving my in-laws House , I take full responsibility for the same.
10)    I made the allegations against the respondents in DVC due to wrong guidance even though no fault lies with the respondents.
11) I abide myself that I will take proper medical treatment for my ailments mentioned above and will follow the suggestions by my husband and his family members for such purpose.
12) I will not make any fake allegations against my husband and his family members in future and cause mental agony to them.

You tell me (Personal)     30 September 2010

Hi, I went through comments here, let me help me with it. My comments are not juding you or your husband.

1) His reply is to your DVC case, he is playing same game which you started. It depends what you wrote in your DVC case. Is all these points addressing your DVC case? then I don't blame him. Like mentioned he wanted to play same game you started but safely. First thing you should have never gone to DVC before doing sitting excersie. Thats first buggest mistake you did in your relation.

2) Like you mentioned above, did you leave him or he left you and asked you to leave his home? It depends what are the circumstances.

3) From point 8, you burned your hand doing harathi. Did you ever do it before marraige or have other burns? then how can you defend yourself?

4) Medical reports are very hard to prove in court, so disorders mentioned is just a game play. But it will nto harm you as you have all your reports.

5) Point 5, did you mention in your DVC that he dissereted or in NCW? then he should have  mentioned it to again safeguard himself. Regarding dowry, again the same thing.

6) Point 9 could be another reason which is very pressing. Is it true that miscarriage happened at your home? and what week did it happen? It depends his points seems to be genuine.

Yes, it might help your husband to get a divorce but still there are very less chances how he is playing his game. Has he put on his game face yet? I think No, he could have gone to divorce with DVC itself, why is he trying to negotiate and take you back? You lived with him so you should know about him more than anyone else.

In relationships always think with your heart, if you did mistake by going to DVC and with false allegations which can't prove. He is just safeguarding. If you did a geninue thing and did it correctly with your DVC then I would be againist him. I don't know the facts I am giving you channel for you to think.

Doing what job doesn't matter, even if a person is CEO of a big company still he can do things wrong. So don't judge anyone by what job they are doing, if you are manager doesn't mean you are perfect. I am being straight forward, if it hurts I am sorry. I can't change my attitude because of someone, do I need to change?

Think about one more thing, from your way of writing I can see that you very commanding and trying to control him (please I am not judging) but in a relation never do it. When love is there one or other will compromise atleast not instantly but later. Rock on.

You tell me (Personal)     30 September 2010

I think I didn't address some points you are looking for

 

1) And what is genuine in DV case, pysical violence? Then I never experienced,but mental torture was there.
****It depends what you define what mental torture is for you, did he harrass you saying something bad about you with his words? remember it all depends on your definition of mental torture. If he is saying no to something you asked for and you pushing him and he bursting out is ot metal torture for you. He bursted because it is mental torture for him.

 

2) When I am trusting him, its obvious they should trust me. Okay, please go through the following conditions and judge is there any point where I can safeguard myself ?
****Why will he trust you when you went to DVC before sitting? and why are you trusting him so much? because he is good person and treated you well but said no to somethings you requested?
Indian law protects women not men, even if you sign still can put more cases later when things didn't work.
Why do you still want to live with him? even he is bad? something is messy here that I can sense. Either you are trying to hide your mistakes or you are too good to be a person (which I don't believe anyone exists in this world with no mistakes) Love is a feeling that keeps people together, if you say its love then why don't you compromise if you think he can take or you? When you don'think he can take care of you well then you even bothering wasting time. Run away from him.
When you are asking these questions you are thinking more about you not your relationship.

 

3) Dont you think they are preparing grounds for divorce after seeing the conditions?
****Why did you put DVC in first case to get away from him or to reconsile? Putting DVC is not way of reconsiling. Once damage is done nothing can reverted.

 

4) If I sign on the below paper,and submit the court. it clearly tells that i agreed that I have Psychological disorders and Immuno deficieny syndrome, and it would be easy for them to give divoce .
****What is the guarantee that he will go for divroce on other grounds even if you don't sign these papers? Its been 5months so why is he still bothering about you and challenged it in HC? (Quashing a DVC is very rare, they can bring stay only for few weeks).

 

5) Now advice me how to act for the below condition paper?
****Try reconsiling with him, if he insists to agree your mistakes and they are not yours then run away. If its your msitakes then agree. Living truthfully is way we can make things pleasent for everyone around you. If you are agreeing something for sake of argument like in your olders post (to satisfy them) then you are not at all correct. If you think you are correct them fight for it, not one can let you down. If you are really wrong with above allegations this is your chance to agree them and try to heal the damage done. This step is very crucial and nothing can be taken back, you used up all your life lines I guess.

 

Trying to make others false will make your life worse and it will keep hauting you all life. Don't misuse oppurtunity provided by Indian Government for women. During statistics morethan 70% DVC and 498A are being used for false allegantions. Look into https://www.saveindianfamily.org/
This not due to fault of women but parents and some greedy lawyers misgudiance. Most of them are damamging their life. If this is not your case and your husband is bad, answer me why you still wanted to live with him?

 

Time is something which is very precious, don't waste it. It will heals any damages if things are done in right way.


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