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dasarivasu (retired)     29 January 2011

Wife Harassement on Husband

My son is highly educated and placed in high rank in Thailand. we have got arranged marraige with a girl for him in 2007 and they were blessed with a son of 3 years old. All of them are comfortable staying in Thailand eversince except occassional visits to India.

My daughter inlaw's mother stay in US and hence we have taken parental care and served her with lot of affection and love during her pregnency,delivery,deceases,dogbite etc. We have given her good clothing,jewellary,very good food and entertainment. Everybody astonished her fortune of having such husband and inlaws.

Now her mother in US with selfish motives brainwashed her and applied visa for her under family category and my daughter in law mad after america and asking my only son and grandson also to follow her and stay with her in US permanently.

Since my son have no better prospects in US as well he is comfortable in existing job insouth east asian countries which are famous for his discipline,he refused to yield her wild desire to resign the existing job and live at the mercy of his mother in law.

This made my daughter inlaw totally reverse and now she is threatining my son and us to face domestc violence case incase my son refused to come to America.She is ready to leave him and go to US to join her mother without legal separation and hang my son as bachelor forever.

Her mother also left her husband in India for 9 years till now and reportedly obtained US citizenship with sham marriage. we are afraid she will also follow the same foot prints of her mother.

But what is the fate of my grand son.....afraid of imagination in the hands of step father in US.

Can we take legal custody of my grand son since we wre wel educated and well placed in India to give him good education and bright future.

We are respectable family and ashmed of the situation in society.My son virtually crying at Thailand to rescue him since she is creating hell there and causing abnormal tension. She went to extent of putting condition not to speak with us nor show our only little grandson.My son scared of her wild behaviour and afraid of police case in a foreign country and loosing great job earned with 30 years hard work.

My son fell sick and got operated there.But the operation failed and needs repeat surgery.And he wants operation in India under our care and supervision.But the cruel and inhuman wife does not alow him nor accompany him to India.

She did not care even the bright future of my grand son!

Now what do?

we have no way than  to commit suicide if we were booked in her false complaint

Is there any legal remedy to control her from wild desires and resist ransom of our lives and future of my son

How to protect my son and grand son from the clutches of this wicked ladies?

we are upset and unable to go a head because the laws are infavour of women only in our great india

Ofcourse we have filed AB for us.

we wish to file a petition in family court with evidence of her visa trails to US and seek impementation of sec 9 of HM Act.

But can we demand a written statement refraining her from making torture and filling false cases and demanding america travel plan to save the family of my son,reputation job and also future of my grand son.

We prefer a peaceful family life than divorce since it affect the future of my grandson loosing either of parents

She is demanding our permanent exist from my sons life as condition for staying with him. She virtually made condition that he should not attend even our funerals!!!

Is there any of such case in our Indian heritage and culture?

My dear egal experts can any of you show us a way out in this horrible  episode?



Learning

 29 Replies

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     29 January 2011

why did you marry to son to such a girl even after knowing that her mother had deserted her dad?that's why it's said that in an arranged marriage,family's values and background must be considered.

 

anyways,i am not a lawyer.so it's better to wait for legal advice.

 

but some personal advice from me:

if your daughter inlaw wants to leave for US, let her leave.

 

it's not that she lands in US and she'll get a job.till then her mum will be supporting her.your daughter inlaw will be on visa.i think a recent settler in US cannott be allowed to work(kindly check employment rules from sumone)

If after her leaving,you suspect she's about to file any false case,immediately file RCR so that it shows that your son wants to live with her,which she doesnt want.

 

ask your son to also record her conversations where she's forcing him,blackmailing him etc.collect all such proofs and remain quiet.

 

if she files any such case,these proofs may come handy.

 

Sunil (accountant)     29 January 2011

andha kanoon!!

even it is proved that wife is cruel, husband can only try to protect himself. surprising to see there are no laws to punish such girls!!

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     30 January 2011

dont let him come back to India - Land of 498a.

he can go to any other country like singapore to get better treatment.

2 Like

dasarivasu (retired)     30 January 2011

no no we were informed at the time of marriage that her dad remained here in India for her marriage only and leave therafter to join her wife in US.  ater all the hidden agenda coming out.

Any how our fate and misfortune made to perform this wedding.

Now my fervent appeal to legal experts in this august forum is      pl clarify:

1) whether she can be refrained from flying to US incase we file RCR and her passport can be freezed by a court order till the marital status is finalised either by RCR or Divorce?

2) whether my grand son can be taken in to my son's(our) custody to ensure his future with good education in India ?

3) whether she can be restrained from misusing DV by taking statement for good behaviour in India and abroad (bind over)before court in case she accept for RCR and prefer to iive with my son?

We are never after divorce and the rights of little child to have love and affection of both parents shall be forfeited ,yet his future shall be protected and my son career shall be ensured.

Her mania for america makes all this nuscence and her mother and relatives corrupting her mind for their own vested reasons and did not bother to ruin her married life as well future of innocent child.

We are ready to sacrifice anything and evrything from our side but once we are out of scene as she demand now ,she will become out raged to accomplish her task and make my son's career ruined and my grand son as orphan.

Therfore I pray you all

please clarify legal position and advise suitably .....

Jamai Of Law (propra)     30 January 2011

It s one sided story ...

People are free to make choices about career and place, region and place of esttlement. Probably you are interfering in a couple's matters which needs to solved by the couple only.

 

Let your son make a choice. When a person decides 'Divorce is always acertainty'

Is it that until divorce obtained, you don't her to fly to US? impossible to restrict

 

 

Answers

1. No

2. No

3. No (if you try to take any such undertaking it would boomrang you....and it is a written document thatyou are forcing and pressuring your doter-in-law to such expnt that she became so submissive....tomorrow you wouls demand undertaking that 'if she commts suicide she shouldn't blame you in dying declaration!!!")

 

She is a natural gurdian of her kid, your concern about about your grand-kids are good but can supercede over mother's concern.

 

2 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     30 January 2011

although i gave a different advice earlier,now after reading jamai of law's advice,i am also thinking bit differently.

 

so the author of this post shud also think if he and his wife are unnecessarily poking their nose into their son's life and talking bad abt the daughter inlaw's family and relatives.

 

only they know the answer to this.

 

rememeber,after marriage it's ur duty to tell ur son that all his marital problems are to be solved by himself only.else he'll remain a mamma's boy always,running to you each time he has an argument id his wife.

in the initial years of ur son's married life, u may like to support ur son by listening to his woes and comforting him by telling him that u r with him always.

however later,these complaints coming from ur son will start pricking u like thorns,as u grow older in age

because no one likes to take so much stress in old age.but for this u only will be responsible,as u only gave ur son ur shoulders to cry on instead of teaching to be independent and solve his problems himself like a matured adult,or else go to a marriage counsellor.

imagine if u and ur wife were no more into ur son's life.how wud he have solved his marital problems???

dasarivasu (retired)     30 January 2011

how unfair judgement sir

I am seeking remedies on the request of my son only who is crying in abroad seeking help from unbearable tension and hell shown by her wife. I am not interfering in couple matter on my own or with any ulterior motives to separate them.After all they are living abroad and they are not staying with us in India. It is her mother in law who is extracting them to her land of US disturbing their peaceful and confortable married and professional life.

 Do you mean I being father of my son shall not have any responsibilty,care and concern on my son's future once he is married to lady who wish to ruin his future and remain as silent spectator?

Parents can not be altered in the lives of their children if they like or do not like but couple will change thier spouses in thier married life if they wish any many times!!!

Well she fly to US without decission on RCR or Divorce,what my son has to do if she does not come back and settle there?

Can we extract her from there ? Is it practically possible?

If she takes away my grand son too aong with her to US what about my son's parental rights on his son?

Do you support wife can take granted to ruin her husband career and life legally and also make his child fatherless ?

Do not we have rights on our grand son when he is having rights on our properties?

Do you think law is only one sided .i.e totally wife side.?????

Jamai Of Law (propra)     30 January 2011

Dear Sir,

 

your concerns although palpable may not be in right direction.

 

Distance and international boundaries may be a matter of concern to you due commercial/financial reasons BUT Factum of separation can happen in the same city  and amount of pain the same and husbands are deprived of meeting their kids who are living with wife in the same city whether at close proximity or not.

 

RCR is not enforceable . its a paper decree.

 

Your post clearly suggested your intensions to stop your daughter-in-law from some moves. This is infringment of right to freedom. Even a parent can't put restrictions on a grown-up/major kid.

 

If wife is leaving the house of husband (for whatever reasons...reluctance, desertion, constructive desertion, force,dragging out, eviction, torture, stress, feud, unilateral ejection, absconding, run-away with lover etc.) it is dealt with merits and blame is ascertained only after that.

1 Like

dasarivasu (retired)     30 January 2011

You are treating the case as routine DV nature.

We have absolutely no commercial/financial interests. We have kept all her money/jewellary/property every thing intact and only in her name.We used to deposit her rental income also in her PPF account.Even my son put her mother inlaws gifted money in to her account. We are God fearing and self contended people with what we are having. We have never asked single rupee from her parents because we are well settled Infact she also never complained on any such things.

Regarding infringment of freedom let me ask you some straight questions

Whether married woman/man can run away out of country when a RCR/Divirce is pending in the court of law?

If she became citizen of US whether our Indian laws can be enforced against her ?

In such case what will be your answer for the demand of freedom from husband side?

Whether rights of child for his association with his father also shall be forfeited untill he attains age of major?

Sir please understand we are not after divorce.we want to keep the family united and save child with love of both mother and father. Here the problem is that lady wants to bring her husband to her terms and conditions including our separation from our son.

Can she demand my son not to look after us in case of illness or death?

Is it any were in this world?

dasarivasu (retired)     31 January 2011

for legal experts attention and opinion please

dasarivasu (retired)     01 February 2011

for legal experts attention and opinion please

dasarivasu (retired)     03 February 2011

Now my son is coming to India along with his wife and children.The cruel parents of my daughter in law are read to separate them on road itself by taking her along with child to thie native place inpsite of heath emergency of my son who shall be admitted in hospital immediately for surgery on the same day.

My heart is burning ! We are going to file this petition in FC immediately.

 

 

Please suggest any corrections if any

_________________________________________________

          PETITION IN THE FAMILY COURT

 

Dear Sir,

 

         I xxxxxxxxxx s/o yyyyyyyyy aged 34 am non-resident Indian citizen. I am working as zzzzzzzzzz in Thailand since the past five years. I am married to wwwwwww on 22 February, 2007 at my native place xxxxxxxx, Andhra Pradesh, India under Hindu marriage customs.

    Immediately after marriage, my wife joined me on spouse VISA.  We were blessed with a son by name Gnana Shakthidhara. All of us are staying in Thailand with lawful visa and work Permit and visiting India occasionally.

   My mother in law smt. xxxxxxxxx (mother of my wife) is residing in U.S.A as US Citizen. She has applied for visa to my wife under married daughter (F3) category. For the past one year my wife has been demanding me to resign my job and both of us should go to U.S.A., to her mother residence and live there as her dependants.

I refused to go to USA as I have no job prospects there. I wish my son should study and brought up in India with our culture and heritage instead of radio collar bondage on the legs of Indian Students in America. I have studied PhD in India with the support of my parents and now highly placed in my profession with immense job satisfaction. My career is bright in Thailand which is famous for my expertise.

But my wife has been threatening me that if I refused to go to USA along with her she will make an attempt to commit suicide and also give false complaint to Police against me at Thailand and my parents at my native place in India and see that we are imprisoned for no fault of us.

    Recently I underwent an operation for xxxxxxx in our company Hospital at Thailand. But the operation was not successful. I have to undergo repeat surgery as advised by Doctors in our Hospital. This time I want to undergo repeat surgery under the care of my parents and family doctors in India.

But my wife is refused to allow/accompany me to go to India and threatening me to commit suicide if I went to India. The doctors advised me to undergo surgery as early as possible, otherwise it may prove fatal. 

My wife is also threatening me not to talk to my parents or to visit them and threatening me to implicate my parents also in domestic violence cases if I ever talk to my parents.

For the past few days my wife’s demands have become more and more aggressive and she is creating unbearable atmosphere in the house.  She is not even allowing me to attend my office and upsetting my mental equilibrium.

I am mortally afraid of my wife’s wild behavior.  I am also afraid for the safety of my son who is just 3 years old.  I feel no longer safe to live with my wife in our house at Thailand.

Due to health emergency under inevitable conditions I am compelled to leave for India after obtaining necessary leave from my employer at Thailand.

Under these tense circumstances after repeated requests and conciliatory measures somehow I have managed to come to India along with my wife and son on 4th February 2011.

Again my wife refused to accompany me to my residence at xxxxxxx and left me on road as soon as we step down from bus in xxxxxxx and went along with her father and relatives waiting for her and left to her native place Razole. She has taken my son also along with her on 5th February 2011.

Afterwards I have admitted in Indian Hospital for surgery under the care and supervision of my parents on the same day.

Now I request Hon’ble Court to issue suitable direction to my wife to join me along with my son to live peaceful married life without above said harassments and wild desires to stoop down to her feet at the cost of my future and profession. In the event of my wife refusal to join me I may be given divorce as last resort.

She is in hurry to leave for US along with my child and it will be impossible to bring her back and my child’s future will be in quagmire as our Indian laws cannot be enforced in US once she become US citizen. Therefore I also request Hon’ble court to impound her Pass Port not to leave the Indian soil till the Hon’ble court decides justice and pass appropriate decree in my case. 

I request you to kindly provide protection for me and my son and my parents in India and allow me to lead tension free and respectful life in the society.

Thanking you sir.

______________________________________________________

Self service (None)     03 February 2011

Hi, I can understand your pain.

#1. Take care of medical emergency, if wife is going away not attending  her keep record of this and make sure some witness or where about wife i,e she is not coming to hospital etc

#2. For surgery hopsitals take "acceptance" from husband or wife, if wife is not present ask doctors to take near relative signature with giving recording fact about absence of wife.

#3.Try to get kid in custody and if she is leaving away or going to US. keep her away until she takes by court orders. If she is absent from hospital you can always blame for "irresponsible" b ehaviour.  

#4.Keep recording of all her financials as much as possible

#5.Inform police (senior police of officers) that wife is trying to take kid to US just take stamp on application.

#6. With copy of police complaint inform US consulate about  wifes intention to work in US. and other details

#7. You can inform USCIS ( US immigration) and consulates on interent with wifes details and include her parents details as a visitor can't simply work in US. keep evidence( if any) of her intentions and forcing you for US visit with details of applications/sponsers etc. And then see drama she wont be able to any time to US if you can show her intentions without valid work permit.

You can also inform US consulate (relevant) that if your or kid application comes for VISA then itshould be considered as forced. Provide passport details etc.  No one can take you forcefully US and you can dispute child custody also based on behaviour and irresponsibe nature of wife.

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

Hi Can this petition in this format be filed in the court? I doubt it very much. Sir ask a good lawyer to help you with petition. 

Wishing you all the best...


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