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Nishant (personal)     12 February 2014

Separation/divorce

I am married for 2 years and since day 1 I have observed that my wife has some psychological problem. We have discussed this problem with her parents but they said it all started only after marriage. We have visited doctors and they said she can not be left alone at home. I work in Mumbai and she lives in Lucknow with my parents. Whenever she suffers from attack we sent her at her home and this in continued for these 2 years in the expectation that one day she will be fine.

Now I am fed up of all this and I want to end this trauma.

Suggestion given by a lawyer friend is to file petition for Separation on basis of her psychological problems. Either my in-laws should intervene and take psychologist's help in curing her disease or they should accept that this marriage cannot work anymore. Kindly advice is this the only solution I have?



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 6 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     12 February 2014

Why do you send your wife to her parents when she suffers from attack? Isn't it your responsibility to take care of your wife and give her suitable treatment? It is very unfair and irresponsible on your part to put all the responsibility on the shoulder of your in-laws. Have some love and compassion and handle the situation maturely and give proper treatment to your wife, you can take the help of your parents and in-laws but you have to play the most important role in curing your wife. Otherwise also divorce cannot be granted unless the psychological problems are too severe that you cannot be reasonably expected to live with the spouse.

cyberlawyer (barrister)     12 February 2014

^^ Well said madam...

S K KARNjhc (Legal Adviser)     12 February 2014

As you have stated, prima facie you are seen to be irresponsible from primitive stage, Mr nishant, you should not forget simply getting divorce, matter does not end here, as you have to be prepare for maintenance also, as a friend I would suggest you to be constant touch with your wife, care her & try to find out her diagnosis, the possibility of her early cure with concerned Dr., don't shoulder your responsibility to your in-laws

Manoj Kaushik (Process Developer)     12 February 2014

Hello All,

I was searching help on tackling wife's behavior and all related issue and found this platform very helpful in terms of professional suggestions and one's own related.

I have a joint family my father,  elder brother and bhabhi, younger sister, wife and a 3 yrs old son. we are living in delhi near to Janakpuri (west delhi) with my family. My mother expired in 2004. my sister's marriage is on April 2014. Brother is doing business and mostly he is out of town for their business purpose.

My wife left home on 30th Dec, 2013 after a quarrel with her father and mother. She took her all belonging and jewellary with herself.  

That time my father and whole family try to make her understand not to leave our home like this but she never understand she blames us and abuse my father, sister and whole family and her father threaten us to ruin our life .

Many times she told her father to leave our and ask to separate, but her father stop her to do so becuase they want maintaince  and property share.

Her father has not the good history may times he was arrested for ape teasing and women harrasement, an now he threaten us that he will resist my sister's marriage.

Now they launge the false complaint of Dowry and harrasement in Women cell Dwarka. 

Also she resist me to meet my son,

The reality is: She is of doubting and jealous nature. She prefers her parents more than my family (Bother sister). Since marriage I had made it clear to her about my deep concern to them as we had no Mother and father is not doing well health wise. But she didn’t accept them by heart and on my monetary helping to brother or sister, she got angry and stopped treating / calling n respecting them. I try my level best to mend her ways but fails, so one or two time I slapped her when things went out of controls due to her attitude.

 

So kindly suggest me what shall I do? Due to her attitude and daily basis tu tu on this or that pretext I am fed up and wanted to end this finally by divorce. Kindly suggest me ASAP, and also tell me if you need more information...

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     13 February 2014

I endorse the views of Adv Ms. Archana.  She has rightly pointed out that it becomes your duty to take care of your wife at the time of  her mental distress and you cannot she away your responsibility this way.  Just think about it the other way, would you not have expected her to take care of you had you were affected by the same psychological issues.  How would you have felt on coming to know that she is seeking opinion about divorcing you due to your illness?  A Marriage is sacred bond between a man and a woman, let us accept the realities of life and live that life by coping up with the temporary problems and prove the world that we are human beings.  In my opinion, you should reconcile within your own self before taking any drastic step on this sensitive issue, think.

1 Like

Nishant (personal)     15 February 2014

I don't agree that I did not take care of her. It's me who wanted to give better treatment in Lucknow but my in-laws always avoided it and insisted to take her away. Also I should have been told that she is suffering from an illness and she is under treatment.I would have been more helpful to her. But no, they have taken a stand that it all started after marriage. Agree. But what now. Then there is no solution for that from them. Her father and doctors suggested that she should not be left alone.I am working in Mumbai and no one can stay with us, then what option I have.I also left job in Mumbai to live with her in Lucknow but there is no change in her behavior. I stayed here for 4 months and could not find a decent job then went back to Mumbai.I understand the seriousness of the situation and the aftermaths but shouldn't I expect same from her too? She is taking all this too easy and doesn't understand what I want to convey. My only concern is , I want to live happily with her but not at the cost of my mental peace. Just because she is a girl my rights to life cannot be put at stake. Now I am going to court and will accept whatever court says.


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