Moninder Singh (Regional Manager) 22 January 2012

Wife's problematic attitude

I have been married for almost 7 trs now n have a daughter of 6. Our marriage was neither arranged nor love. We came in contact through a matrimonial classified ad but got married after one year of intimate friendship. Nothing was hidden from her. But, my wife never stayed with y parents after marriage. We just went to my parents during vacations as I was working away. For the first 3 months of my marriage, my wife was very well behaved. But, when she went to her mother for her 1st delivery and came back, she was entirely changed. She developed futile hatred towards my parents and siblings. I never forced her to stay with my parents and we have been staying away from them since then. We had several physical fights because of her negative attitude. Now, when my parents have grown very old and I'm the only son of my parents, I have decided to go to my parents place and stay there just for 2 years with them. During this time I plan to clear of every string attached to us and bring my parents along with me and make them stay with us. I said this to my wife very clearly that we are just going for two years and then we will come back. But, she has outrigtly refused to come with me. She is working as a teacher in one of the small time schools here. She says that she will stay back here and I should go alone to my parents place. I dont like this as I will be missing my daughter and she will meiss me too. She says that she can even kill herself and my daughter, if forced to do something against her will. Now, my she has expressed to my sister that she will hold herself back from goin in for a divorce, too.

Please suggest what should I do, legally or socially, to be on the safer side. Should I take it in writing from her that she has chosen to be away from me? Please advise soon.

Thanks...

Moninder Singh

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10 Replies

Swathi S Bhat (Advocate) 23 January 2012

Sir,

First of all, make your stand clear. Whether you want to lead a marital life with your wife? If YES, then you can file a petition before the Family Court for RCR. This case will help you by calling your wife to live with you and your family.

Swathi S Bhat (Advocate) 23 January 2012

Sir,

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker) 23 January 2012

asking witten statements from wife = cruelty. Dont do it.

try to change her erratic behaviour.

in the light of gender biased laws & the future of ur daughter, i advise u to reconcile

Aishwarya (Teacher) 23 January 2012

she does not go with u to ur parents +u both live seperate = marriage intact

divorce happens + u both are seperate.= marriage gone

though both situations are problematic and bad and ur parents need u the most

if possible try best to save ur marriage for the sake of ur child and resolve matters through counselling and communication..

(Guest)

Support your parents !!

mansoor Hussain (officer) 04 October 2012

parents are jewel of any individuals life therefore a wife who shows such a negative attitude must be dealt with seriously.A women who is unable to tolerate the presence of your beloved Mom and Dad in house should herself be expelled from house.It is better to part ways from her............

ragz hyder (PM) 04 October 2012

I am no lawyer but if you are already at this stage start recording

what evidence is admissible? Can you invest 10 20 K and get mini cameras, mp3 recorders. Record her saying she will kill your daughter. Next file a criminal complaint for endangering your daughters life.

Keep records

Keep CDs

Keep a copy of your CD with your lawyer

contact a lawyer

gather evidence

in this case it is better if you go to your parents place without her. If she comes and puts some 498 against them you are better without her.

ishita (Copywriter) 13 January 2014

If she does not want to go give her some space. No need to jump the gun and get into legal overdrive as it will only complicate matters for you and bring on additional tensions. Try and strike the balance here you come and meet your family often and also stay with your parents at their place and spend ample time with them. It is not that difficult a thing to do. Remember it takes two to tango. Your parents must have also done something to make her feel this way about them. Blaming her mother is the easiest escape strategy that most men apply. Do you get influenced by your mother too? If so then what is wrong in her getting influenced by her's then? Do not put the blame of things going wrong between you or your thinking on someone else. No parent teaches their child to be nasty so get these thoughts ut of your head. You have a daughter too and if tomorrow someone says the same about her I am sure you would not like it. SO act mature and try give space to your wife and trust me it will only make her feel that you do understand her well. With time she too would adjust to the idea of you dividing the time between her and your parents and she might agree to come and stay with you. Nothing to worry. Just concentrate on your family life and do not make any hasty decisions that would make you regret later.

(Guest)

Originally posted by : ish*ta
	No parent teaches their child to be nasty so get these thoughts ut of your head.

You don't know anything I bet. Its better you don't comment at all Ms.Copywriter

(Guest)

Let your mother file DV on your wife and also maintenance case on you as they come under senior citizens.

Dont ever bend to a greedy wife, you are unfortunate that you are married to such a woman. If you are scared of false cases or harassment from your wife then your life will be miserable. You will be missing the end days of your parents and as a son its your duty to take care of them in every possible way. Make your stand clear to her and let her do whatever she wants to do. She will be spoiling her life too and at some point she will realize her mistake.

A moral less creature will never change, it doesnt matter whether it is 10yr old marriage or 1yr old marriage.