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Aastha (SSE)     02 November 2011

Need advice

I have been married for 2.5 yrs. Ours was an arranged marriage. I am
working in a Sw company and my husband is also a software engr. He is
very dominating in nature and doesn,t adjust for small small things.

Now,He wants to go and settle at his native place which is a small town
in chattisgarh. My inlaws are very orthodox plus my divorsed sister in
law stays with them who is mentally upset. Even there he fights with me
daily He says if i cannot stay with him at his native, he will give
divorse. I tried to convince him a lot but all was in vain, whenever i
go to his native my inalaws n my husband pressurise me for accepting his
demand.

Last year i.e in Oct 2011 he forced me to leave his house and i started living in a different flat in the same society.During this 1 year of seperation we use to talk on phone and also met few times, but we could not come to any final conclusion.

Now he is threatning me saying that he wil go to Court and will file for Divorse.

 Can you please advice me abt this issue. How can Law help me in this regard.



Learning

 13 Replies

Kiran Kumar (Lawyer)     02 November 2011

What you exactly want?

 

you wish to stay with him or want to part away with the relationship.

Aastha (SSE)     02 November 2011

I cannot with him at his native place because of harrasing environment there.

I can some how adjust and try to save my marriage if there is some middle path.

Can we have some provision in Law that suggests for mutual compromise?

or can a person put some unreasonable demand and walk out of relationship so easily ?

Sameer12345 (SSE)     02 November 2011

 

 

General Advice, This issue can only be resolved if You fulfill his demands as both of you thinking to take legal action. 

There are middle paths but It seems that He is not at all in a mood to save marriage. He might not accept your demand even if you go to court. 

Well, Accept the facts, Try to understand his situation.  He might not intentionally harassing you. His Divorced Sister is not going to be in between you both whole life, She may be marry again in near future.

Aastha (SSE)     02 November 2011

My sister in law is mentally ill and cannot be re married. On Accepting his demand I will have to leave my Job and other support system, its like commiting sucide.

Forcing someone to accept unreasonable demand by threating for divorse is incorrect. I some how find myself in a loose loose situation.

If he goes for divorse what charges he can impose ? Can I do anything else to comeout of this situation.

sanjeev murthy desai (Advocate)     02 November 2011

If both are not interested to save your marital status then file a petition for mutual divorce. Please contact any local lawyer in this regard.

Aastha (SSE)     02 November 2011

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Married-men-should-forget-about-their-freedom-sc-46153.asp is this article applicable in my case. As my husband wants to take an independant decision of staying @ his native.

ABHISHEK B (Bekaaar)     03 November 2011

An easy solution would be, asking his parents and his sick sister to live with you two, so that he too can take care of his family and you too can continue with your job.

But, alas, such stuff, only happens in movies...being a metro wife, obviously you don't want to life with his family..isin't it ?

Moreover, you seems to be hiding a lot of fact..its not possible, that a s/w engg, would like to stay in a small town, leaving his own good income...

He has paitience to wait for you for 1 long year...this is not a characteristic of a dominant person. 

Law can't help you...only you can help yourself. Bring his parents tto your house, look after his sick sister as your own...love his family as your own....if not possible...end the relation amicably.

Sameer12345 (SSE)     03 November 2011

 

 

@Astha, Sorry to say but If husband will show no interest to save marriage, than no law will help you to allow you stay together and live happy life.

Who knows, Matter become worst once you step to the court.

If you really can’t adjust in the current environment, You have to face one of following.

1. Wait, Wait and Wait for the good time to come, it may take another 4-5 years. Or Start doing job along with your Engg Husband at the same city where he would like to work and stay. Its a tradition.

2. Apply for mutual contest divorce. Move On.

3. Don’t give divorce, Let the court decide. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OPTION FOR BOTH OF YOU). Court matter will run for long time than the first option i have written. 

You are right now frustrated, You can't take any decision at present. Have some patience. Let some more time go and then take decision. 

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     03 November 2011

Dear Aasha,

The right way out in your situation is talk to your huaband and ask him to hira any seprate accomodation near to your native place and both of you live sepratelty in that house in this way he will keep in touch with his sister and other family members also and both of you can also pursue your life properly.

But if he did not accept this thing then you can approach the court and your lawyer will guide you the way to execute this decision. coz if you will demand to live far away then your husband will never accept this demand at any cost but if you will suggest the way above then after legal course both of you may come to the conclusion above.

Good luck

adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     04 November 2011

If you both can not sort it out amongst themselves, lawyers would get rich.

 

And what you quoted is not a judgement.

 

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     04 November 2011

he cannot get divorce on the grounds that your are not willing to leave your job and stay with him and inlaws in his native place.   that is not the ground, Indian courts accept to grant divorce.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     05 November 2011

@ Author

1.
Start accepting the relationship to be that of two dead peoples.


2. Keep it that way for the time being as you have no civil options in hand.
Reasoning: You say yourself and I quote you "Last year i.e in Oct 2011 he forced me to leave his house and I started living in a different flat in the same society. During this 1 year of separation we use to talk on phone and also met few times, but we could not come to any final conclusion."


3. You donot want the marriage to end but accepting the relationship to be that of dead nature so leave him to his fate and let him find a solution in this marriage and anyhow in above quote of yours you are talking once in a blue moon so let it remain like that at least sometimes both of you talk.


4. See with marriage relationship develops between two sides of a saucer. To develop a relationship lots of give and take mutually spouses adopt to. But if relationship itself is dead then the marriage also becomes dead. Then it becomes just a matter of chance who takes the PAPER DECREE first from a Family Court. You be good in social books till THAT TIME comes and when that time comes take a final call to this relationship and either file RCR and let him try his best to wriggle out of a situation of self making or agree for mutual consent divorce and set him free with few of your basic finanicial security terms. Civil Law(s) are not there to solve each and every differences in  relationships of spouses to a marriage. Reason being both of you didnot took permission of a Court to get married and well no Court comes into picture for giving such permission per se. Marriage works with two willing spouse to adopt, adjust, change and be the change to work it through and if all these with lots of patience and time investment does not work that way then mutual parting is the least painful way out and in its absence keeping quite till one spouse gives-in is the only CIVIL part of dissolving such marriages with permission of the Court via MCD route. 


In my opinion under civil necessities no legal solution and or any other middle path can be guided to this query for a simple reason one wants and another does not want and till all these are in civil domains it does never work that way as one wishes a magic Lamp to pop up out of a vaccum.  But then art of marriage dissolving has to remain in civil domains for larger public interest policy; is it not what we are meant to think in larger public interest
J J


It is unfortunate query. 

DR.SANAT KUMAR DASH (Eye Specialist)     05 November 2011

It   is   a     very   unfotunate   story.......My   Dear  Aastha.   Try   to    solve   amongst   yoursalves.  No  Court   can   solve   u'r   problem.   


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