marriage problem & child custody


I am Saheli Das working as S/w engineer in an IT company.
I got married March 2016. I have arranged marriage. Before marriage, I didn't face any problem from my in laws family.They didn't want any dowry, golden jwellery etc.
I told them , after marriage i will do my job. I will never left my job. They told me okay, No problem. They also told me that my husband will shift Kolkata, so we didn't have any problem. Then I also told them-- if my husband didn't shifted in kolkata, then also I will never go in husband location. If got suitable job thn I will move otherwise not. My husband shifted job in jamshedpur instead of kolkata.

After marriage, my inlaws family wanted my jwellery, I technically shifted jwelleries to my fathers locker, for that reason, they didn't talk with me very well. After some days, they want & tell me to left job & shift husband location. One thing is that my husband isn't giving any money to me & he didn't take any responsibility. He didn't care on me. My inlaws now told me via my husband-- leave ur job otherwise we never do family planing. He is getting threate on me Leave your job otherwise you cannot be a mother. I told him I will never left my job but i will adopt a child. Many child stay in home. I will adopt one of them. Suddenly, my inlaws went jamshedpur for one month. & When i went there, my husband is telling -- 'I want baby', please do planing' . I am saying okay but not now. Next year we will plan for that.
My question is that
1. Why my husband opinion is automatically changed?
2. If i got pregnant, then what will be the laws for newly born baby
3. After birth new born baby, can they give me pressure to left my job ?

please tell me what i will do?
 
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CEO

Don't leave your job under any circumstaces. Without financiaql security they would  pressurize you more for dowry, gold Jewellery etc.AS YOU RIGHTLY SAID IF YOU WANT CHILDREN YOU CAN ADOPT ONE FROM AN ORPHANAGE.dON'T YIELD TO THEIR PRESSURE TACTICS and leave your job in orderto become pregnant. If they  harrass you more  file For divorce in Family court. iF YOUR HUSBAND AGREES YOU BOTH CAN FILE MCD. IN WHICH CASE YOU'D BE GRANTED DIVORCE WITHIN 6 MONTHS,..FINANCIAL SECURITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN having CHILDREN.

 
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Advocate

The issues involved are emotional; there are no legal elements involved. Pleas note that marriage is more of a responsibility than mere money making. And the strongest instinct in any living creature is in perpetuating the race.

 
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Originally posted by : Saheli Das
I am Saheli Das working as S/w engineer in an IT company.I got married March 2016. I have arranged marriage. Before marriage, I didn't face any problem from my in laws family.They didn't want any dowry, golden jwellery etc.I told them , after marriage i will do my job. I will never left my job. They told me okay, No problem. They also told me that my husband will shift Kolkata, so we didn't have any problem. Then I also told them-- if my husband didn't shifted in kolkata, then also I will never go in husband location. If got suitable job thn I will move otherwise not. My husband shifted job in jamshedpur instead of kolkata.After marriage, my inlaws family wanted my jwellery, I technically shifted jwelleries to my fathers locker, for that reason, they didn't talk with me very well. After some days, they want & tell me to left job & shift husband location. One thing is that my husband isn't giving any money to me & he didn't take any responsibility. He didn't care on me. My inlaws now told me via my husband-- leave ur job otherwise we never do family planing. He is getting threate on me Leave your job otherwise you cannot be a mother. I told him I will never left my job but i will adopt a child. Many child stay in home. I will adopt one of them. Suddenly, my inlaws went jamshedpur for one month. & When i went there, my husband is telling -- 'I want baby', please do planing' . I am saying okay but not now. Next year we will plan for that.My question is that1. Why my husband opinion is automatically changed?2. If i got pregnant, then what will be the laws for newly born baby3. After birth new born baby, can they give me pressure to left my job ?please tell me what i will do?

Ben ki lendi.

You want married life adjust.  He work somewhere you work somewhere why the phak did yo umarry ?  For tis tamasha you need children also?  so that they will be born and look at your phaking tamasha?  better not have kids, apply fro divorce.  this is not marriage it is worse than tamasha.

 
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Advocate

There seem to be no legal problem at this stage, problem is of adjustment which can be done amicably.

There seem nothing wrong on the part of husband in hoping for baby, planning for famly, probably you may also be wanting settled life.

You can think seriously in discontinuing the job for 1-2 years to plan family.

Job is for family not at the cost of family.

Can have services of marriage counsellor.

 

 
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@Rajendra K Goyal, After marriage I thought that i will shift jamshedpur with job. But when I go there, my inlaws also go there & behave some abnormal. They arenot treated me as daughter inlaws But they told other that Saheli is a daughter. But really not, thats why my mother in laws go jamshedpur & told to my husbands frnd about me. The problem is that, my inlaws want my golden jwellery. But i didn't give her. I have put those to my father's locker. You are a men, not women, so that u never feel a women problem. Job is my security, it is important for me as well as family. I never loose my dignity. My husband didn't take any responsibilities. Didn't give any money . Then why i left my job. You are a lawyer. U don't have any sense, that's why u have written me such a nonsense sentence. Listen!! I told my husband for divorce. My husband didn't give me because of maintenance.
 
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Dear sir, You will not able to understand my problem. Here one of lawyer told reply of my post that it is a tamasha & etc.. I am getting hurted. If he has a daughter, if she got this situation, then he had to understand. She knows who is sufferer. Problem is my job related. If I left my job, i wouldn't get any money from my husband. I will be under control of my inlaws. If they said me do this, then I have to do that. There is no privacy with my Husband. All conversation between my husband & me, my husband told to his mother & every one of my inlaws family. All conversation , I am getting heard from other family person. If I leave my job, I will go to die. 6 months ago, i want child, but my husband ignore because lack of money. Suddenly, one of my in laws house, told us you have to need a child. Then he threatened me to leave job. Before marriage, i told to my inlaws family - i will do job after marriage, i will never left my job. if your son didn't shift kolkata, then i wouldn't able to shift jamshedpur. Then" in laws family told me okay no problem. My son will shift in kolkata for sure' but, in real he has shifted in jamshedpur & always try to leave my job. But I am not a fool. Thats why, I will never to leave a job. I try to relocate jamshedpur, but didn't get suitable job. & Jamshedpur is not too far from kolkata. Every weekend, I go there. If not get. Then i will never go there. Thanks.
 
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Dear sir, You will not able to understand my problem. Here one of lawyer told reply of my post that it is a tamasha & etc.. I am getting hurted. If he has a daughter, if she got this situation, then he had to understand. She knows who is sufferer. Problem is my job related. If I left my job, i wouldn't get any money from my husband. I will be under control of my inlaws. If they said me do this, then I have to do that. There is no privacy with my Husband. All conversation between my husband & me, my husband told to his mother & every one of my inlaws family. All conversation , I am getting heard from other family person. If I leave my job, I will go to die. 6 months ago, i want child, but my husband ignore because lack of money. Suddenly, one of my in laws house, told us you have to need a child. Then he threatened me to leave job. Before marriage, i told to my inlaws family - i will do job after marriage, i will never left my job. if your son didn't shift kolkata, then i wouldn't able to shift jamshedpur. Then" in laws family told me okay no problem. My son will shift in kolkata for sure' but, in real he has shifted in jamshedpur & always try to leave my job. But I am not a fool. Thats why, I will never to leave a job. I try to relocate jamshedpur, but didn't get suitable job. & Jamshedpur is not too far from kolkata. Every weekend, I go there. If not get. Then i will never go there. Thanks.
 
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