Alpna Saxena (PD trainer) 10 October 2013

Need a genuine advice

Hi,

There were problems in my marriage soon i was pregnent in march 2009.i was married in dec 2008 in Delhi. Although it was an arrange marriage but some how my inlaws stopped liking me within 3 months of my marriage and at this very time was also became pregnent. My inlaws and my husband asked me to borrow 20 lakhs from my parents as they wanted to purchase a flat for themselves. but i denied to ask it from my parents and then i was forced to do a job and all most 75% of my salary was taken way by my inlaws and my husband for some or the other reason. All of this did not alarm me much. Latter my husband took a home loan for the same flat that he and my inlaws wished to purchase. he asked me to part 10000/- from my salary on a monthly basis for the repayment of the loan and along with that i was asked to spend on the household expences and when my daughter was born i was forced to bear all the expences of my daughter aswell. My husband is earning well aroung 10 lc/anum but he totally refused to bear any of my and my daughter's expences and on the contrary I was suppose to pay a sum of 10000/- per month by cheque to my father-in-law. In 2011 my husband again asked me to demand the same 20 laks from my parents so that the loan can be repaid soon. But i again denied and now he started becoming voilent on me and also started hitting me....this went on and i also told my parents about it and they used to visit my matrimonial house and always used to make my husband understand things and always asked to behave in a better way. My husband and my inlaws always assured my parents that I was kept very well in my matrimonial house. My parents always thought things would turn better in some time. but in April 13 it was extream when my husband tried to put goodnight liquid in my mouth but thankfully i escaped. by this time i was fed up and i wanted to kill my self and i jst to get some fresh air went to my parents house in Nashik Maharashtra on 11th May 2013. and I returned to my matrimonial house on 30th may with my mother. but on that night my inlaws behaved in a very strange way the night i reached delhi with my mother i was questioned about my cupboard keys and i was blamed that i had taken the cupboard keys with me which is not true. but my husband verbally and phisically harressed me and my mother that night . and on 4th June 2013 my father came to my matrimonial house and tried to resolve the problem but finally on 5th june 2013 my inlaws and my husband asked my parents to take me along with them and never to send me back to them. Since then i am along with my daughter are at my parents place. There has been no communication from my inlaws side. I am actually fedup with my life at my matrimonial house and i am affraid if I return myself they will try and hurt me and take away my life. So i do not intend to go back and infact i intend to take a divorce. pleae help i am absoultly unaware of the legal formalities.

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6 Replies

Adv k . mahesh (advocate) 10 October 2013

if there is no communication from your end or any mediator to solve the issue it will complicate furthuer which no one can solve the issue

even your kid should have both parents so that her life will be very good

so take any one of there family person help to negotiate and talk with them to solve the issue as soon as possible and in last resort only go to your local lawyer

(Guest)

Some things will never work.

Reading your part here, I feel the same, your marriage wont last long, it lasted this long due to your silence and patience.

Divorce getting is not that easy, that too when a kid is involved.

You will spend years together to get divorce if your husband is not willing to let you go.

Take that as 6-7 years.

And as to whom with the kid should be that custody case will run for the same period of time.

Do not forget that you will have to spend loads of money on advocate fees.

Try and talk it out. If still it is not possible and there seems to be no change in the situation, then filing for MCD should be your main motive entering courts.

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate ) 10 October 2013

Alpana ji I have gone through to your problem ,and come to that conclusion that your husband ,& in- laws are greedy they don't want you and your baby too , your life and future is not secure with such shameless fellows ,better you live with your parents and do job as you are doing .2. file a case of 498A ipc, DP3&4, DV act, 323ipc , 406ipc, 506ipc, 504ipc against them in your PS. 3. also file divorce petition and maintenance petition for your baby.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate) 10 October 2013

Returning to matrimonial home on 30th May along with your mother is not a right decision. preserving the institution of marriage at any cost is that thesis which is forcing a large number of women to face the indescribable violence in matrimonial home by her husband and in-laws. The following legal remedies are there for you:

1. You can file divorce case from the place where you are residing. Please ensure that whatever the money from you that has gone into the properties acquired by them in their name shall be mentioned in divorce petition very clearly. Once divorce is granted, in permanent alimony application, these things would matter so much that your contribution be taken at present rate market value.

2. You are entitled to file Section 498-A dowry harassment case.

3. You are also entitled to file domestic violence case for monetary compensation for the trauma you faced in the matrimonial home.

4. You can also file maintenance for yourself, if you are not earning any thing and for your child.

5. Be prepared that he will file child custody case to emotionally blackmail you.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate) 10 October 2013

2. You are entitled to file Section 498-A dowry harassment case.

3. You are also entitled to file domestic violence case for monetary compensation for the trauma you faced in the matrimonial home.

4. You can also file maintenance for yourself, if you are not earning any thing and for your child.

5. Be prepared that he will file child custody case to emotionally blackmail you.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 10 October 2013

I am sorry to hear about your story, assuming that it is 100% true. Normally I like to help men who are harassed by the wife for money reasons but it appears that in your case it is just the opposite. The opinion expressed here is solely my personal opinion. I am NOT an advocate.

At the very outset, be careful of advocates. Most of them will look at your problem as an opportunity for them, make you file multiple legal proceedings and then drag you case for a long time so that you become a cash cow for them. Before you file any legal proceedings, I suggest that you give ONE LAST TRY through common intermediaries to reconcile with your husband and inform them verbally of your intent to file legal proceedings in the event that they are opposed to reconcile. The key here is INFORM THEM OF YOUR INTENT TO FILE LEGAL PROCEEDINGS IF THERE IS NO RECONCILIATION BEFORE ... so and so date.. Wait for that date and only after that PLAN on a strategy and then file legal proceedings. The Strategy itself cannot be done by your advocate because their brain is microscopic and whatever is there is usually used up in computing how and how much they will make out of you. So, the best way to do so is to try and communicate with others similarly situated. Go to the local Family Courts, try to talk to other victims, even talk to advocates to get their opinion (they will be very eager to discuss because their eyes will be glittering... here comes another bakra!) but do not pay them for first consultation. Just keep the carrot dangling and get as much information as you can. Tell them that you are rich and they will be happy to discuss. Educate yourself in this area.

Create a special email id without your name embedded in it and use only that email id for any online communication on this matter. Do not give your phone number or personal details to anyone who claims to be an advocate on-line unless he emails all his/her details including the Advocate credentials assigned by the Bar Council to you. That is not enough but at least better than nothing...

STRATEGY suggested: ONLY after you have exhausted all non-legal options, file a RCR. In simple words, it is asking through a Court to have your relationship back on track. Let him deny it. In that RCR, you specify that you intend to file other proceedings if RCR is not genuinely accepted by him. In the interim, get ready with all proofs of him hitting you, the amount of monies given to him and any witnesses who will come forward for their demand of Rs. 20 lakhs from your parents. Then file DV and 498 cases and get them in jail. If your statements are true, then DV and 498 cases are for such genuine cases. It appears that you have a solid case against them.

DO NOT TOLERATE HIM HITTING YOU AGAIN. Make it very clear to him and his family members that you will not hesitate to take firm legal and police actions if he ever dared to even threaten you, let alone actually hit you. It is your hesitation that will encourage them to abuse you again. DO NOT GIVE THEM A SINGLE PAISA FROM YOUR PARENTS. Be firm and be strong from within! 90% of Legal Cases are won on psychological grounds. The damage internally is often more than the material losses. So, do not let this destroy you! Focus on a career. Look beyond this tragedy! If you have an opportunity, start looking around subtly for a second marriage. Get yourself in shape. Prepare for a bright future. Do not post your profile on matrimonial sites until your divorce is done otherwise they will use it against you.

I am not an advocate but hope this helps... Just felt sorry for your situation!