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(Guest)

Harassment done by husband-in-laws

Hello ,

I am an M.B.A in Human Resources & WOrking asManager , i got married just a Year back but since the very first  day of My Marriage i have harrased by my Husband & My In -laws .

- My husband has relations with different girls which i caught and discussed with his parents but the parents just ignore .

- I was shocked to see my husbands pics with a girl whom he was kissing and also he wrote so many love letters to her.

- My husband daily drinks and comes home , when i ask him why he drinks a lot ? he starts abusing me and his parents support him that i shouldn't stop his drinking .

- My husband has no interest his our married life he comes from office at 2.30 am . When i tell him to change his job he says that no i will not change.

- Every saturday sunday he moves out with his frends for drinking parties

- After every six montsh he has plans to move to hill station with his frends , when i ask him that i will also go , he makes reason and says no to me .

- My Mother in law & Father in law are so bad that she abuses me  & my parents for no reason

- I had a discussion about all this with my husbands relatives and they all agree that the Boy and the parents are wrong and they have ditched us as their son was full of bad addicts .

- My husband also smokes which is against our sikh religion.

- My Father in law is totally a Money minded person he asks me to take loan for a car or bring from my parents asks for my debit card .

- My Mother in law keeps on asking my salary.

At per the recent incidence one day i was preparing food in night & my mother i law started asking me to give all my salary money and on this i answered that you and your son never give me even a single peny to me   so how will i fulfill my daily exppenses if i give my salary to you . On this my Father in nlaw started abusing me & my parents and my mother in law started slapping me ,and said Ghar ki Grill band kar do as ye apne "MA BAAP " ko na bula le ..isse kamre band kar de aur acid daal de  fir pata chalega isse. 

My husband when he came back from office at 2.30 am he also started abusing me and  my father in law consulted a lawyer and said ki maine apne bete ko Ghar se Disown kar diya hai aur apna saman uthaoo aur nikal jaoo... on this my husband asked me to go to office and while i was in office he packed my bag and came to my parents home and said ki mere parents ne mujhe disown kar diya hai...and they will not give anything .

Now i request to please let me know as what should i do in this situation neither my husband has any interest in marriage nor his parents are supportive and are full money minded again and again they ask for money & are harrasing me . 

a) how can i come to  know whether my father in law has actually disowned my husband or not ?.

b) Do i still have the property share if they have disowned their son

c) Can we  live in their house  even if they have disowned their son.

d) is their any term or peroid for disownment

 

Please help me 



Learning

 23 Replies

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     06 January 2013

honestly tell us the full picture, seems only your version of it. anyway answer to your questions;

 

a) how can i come to  know whether my father in law has actually disowned my husband or not ?.

b) Do i still have the property share if they have disowned their son

c) Can we  live in their house  even if they have disowned their son.

d) is their any term or peroid for disownment

 

a) published in news paper and affidavit signed and submitted to court.

b) even if they dont disown, if property is in  their name, you cannot have any rights.

c) You cannot live in that house the moment they disown and your husband moved out, hence you cannot seek residence right as part of matrimonial home

d) no such term to my knowledge

I am also waiting for experts views, the above are based on my reading experience.

Tell us, did not you file DV and 498a yet as per your legal or illwisher advisor?

Mani

Mani


(Guest)

Hello Sir ,

The fact is that from the very first day of our marriage i lost trust of my husband when his real acts started coming , i have seen him chatting & talking with his girlfrends , unlimited drinking & smoking , he clearly said that i have no interest in you i have just married you for your money.

How will a girl feel on seeing all these act .When i tried to make him away from wrong habits he starts abusing me and creates scene at home and also his parents support him . The reason why they support him is because they also want my salary money which they keep on asking again n again . My parents and i have tried level best to improve the relation but my husband & in laws are in such ego and attitude that they dont want to improve.. 

At age of 30 years my husband is not releasing that by doing all this he is spoiling his own life .

They now want that i and my husband should live sepeartely in rented house and have no relation with them . WHat should i do as my husband comes late in night and i have no security as he is also drunk .

One day i went to their home on 31st morning just to make an improvment in relation and on seeing me they stopped me to go upstairs in my room , the reason why they stopped me because they didnt wanted to show me that their son was at home as they are pretaining that he has been disowned. When i asked them where is he ? they said we dont know where is he ?

Please suggest how to tackle this situation .His parents have done this so that if we file case against them they dont come in picture.They are now telling that tell your parents to keep both of you at their home.

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     06 January 2013

Better to hire any local advocate and he will guide you thoroughly.

Coz it is not so easy to improve your husband or leave him.

So local lawyer will guide you step by step.

First instance he will try to conusiling both of you and if not possible then guide you how to tackle your husband and put little pressure to change his habits.

Further your inlaws are also feel halpless coz their son is out of control, so he will also guide your inlaws so that they shold control thier son and get him on right track.

Good luck.

adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com


(Guest)

Thanks Sir for your advice .

We have consulted the local lawyer and they say that you can file case against them but Me & My parents want that the boy & in laws should improve and the relation should continue.

 

Now recently he left me all alone at my parents place and didnt gave a call even since last 15 days and when i call him he doesnt picks the call.

Sir they have consulted one laweyer who suggested them to disown their son ,, now i want to know that how cam disownment impact me  .

One of the legal expert says that even if they disown their son you still have right to stay in that home as their is no such law and this can be done through women cell.

 

 

 

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     07 January 2013

That lawyer is not correct. Unless the property is in your husband home, you cannot claim residential rights of your in laws home, one injection pettion will see you evicted from that home.

Effects of disowning your husband by family on you;

1) you cannot attach his ancestral property in DV case for CrPC125 for interim maintenance. Though he can avail his share later, but you cannot.

2) You cannot pull their family now in 498a , but in  reality you can do pull their name , but in Woemn cell it will be ruled out.

3) you cannot seek residential right based on the fact that you lived your married life in that house, for a simple reason that now your inlaws will claim that for helping you two, they ptovied accomadation, it cannot be done anymore.

Finally suggestion, taking is upto you; 1) When he went to such level, he has preaperd for divorce and acting swiftly to avoid or to face DV and 498a , if you go on registering those cases against him you end up in;

1) hefty lawyers fees 2) wastage of time/life 3) if he is cruel, counter cases on you 4) no possible due of you

best MCD, hire mediator or common person to amicably resolve.

 

 


(Guest)

Dear Sir ,

The fact is that My Father-in-law is so money minded person that he left his parents because they were not ready to give their ancentral property to him and the house my inlaws are currently living  has been made by them .

After knowing that i have some many proof of wrong acts done by my husband & both by my father in law & Monther in law he is just trying to move away from the responsibilities and is repeatedly wanting me to move out of the home with my husband . But at the back they are supporting my husband as on one hand they dont want him to move out of their hands as he gives salary .

They have kept their son is such a shell that neither they want to get his job changed as they think he can't get a job apart from what he is doing (BPO Job) and neither they want that he should quit his bad habits as my father in law also does the same .My motyher in law has kept my husband  in such a shell that daily he give Rs 100 to my husband as his pocket money and in return keeps his debit card from where she withdraws money. I have told many times to my huisband that you should take charge of your things as you are now mature but he says let parents do . Even if ask him to purchase anything ,, he takes permission from mother & father and then says No they have said "NO".

Since i feel that Marraige is done only once , i am trying my level best to build up this realtion .Basis the proof that i have we can file a case but i know its of no use , its just time and life waistage .  I come from a Middle class family and we are just two sisters.

I think that  my husband & his Family has no threat now after disowing their son so they are enjoying their life . My in laws shows that there son is not living at their home but we have enquired and found that he is staying there only .

We have involved  some relatives and Frends as Mediator but i would like to take your advice as what decison should they ask for from my inalws as they are insiiting me & my husband to live in rented house as that ways they will be able to take part of my salary in way  of rent and other things 

Please suggest should i move on rented accomodation with my husband ? But my view is that there is no life security as he comes late & drunk , we wont have any vehicle in case of any emergency , he is not contactable over the phone while he is in office as in BPO he says taking phone calls is not allowed. 

One of my frends suggested that stop all contacts with them and over a peroid of time they will come back , but here i have a fear what if my inlaws & husband move out of india as their elder son is in USA and they were trying their son to move out of country.

 

Please suggest on above.

 

 

 

Kindly suggest w

rajiv_lodha (zz)     07 January 2013

Discuss with that family the ways out in the form of MCD.......A quick n hassel free exit from this disturbed matrimony

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     08 January 2013

Dear Whegur

 

Suich family does never agree for MCD they do not voluntarily loose licence to torture.

 

file a DV complaint.  No other way.

rajiv_lodha (zz)     09 January 2013

Set right ur goals, what u want in DV case? Litigations are easy 2 start but difficult to handle. So weigh ur options b4hand

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     09 January 2013

for whose benefit such draconian laws are made.  hwt is the use of such laws when victims like you do not come foward and there are scores of persons coming up with false allecations


(Guest)

 

Dear All Experts,

Kindly advice what should we do 

From last three months there has been no progress and neither my husband nor my in laws contacted me . As my in laws said that they have disowned their son (my husband) and he is not living with them but when we enquired we found that he is living with them and they are  lieing.

Infact my father called many time to my father-in -law to solve the issue but he didnt picked the call , then i called my husband that your father is no taking the call he said that whatever you guys want to talk , talk   to my Mamaji and Uncle (Masad Ji) as they will take the decision as what to do . Then i called his Masad Ji to tell that fix a appointment between my father and my father in law to come to a conclusion. He said that  my father in law will not meet and their decision is that they have disowned his son so go and live outside with your husband on a rented house or you give mutual divorse papers in the hands of your husband. Then i called his mamaji  , he said that his father in law said that you  can only enter their  house if i  give sorry in writing.  

My In laws are Blackmailing me write  sorry when i am not at fault so that they can be safe in court if i file a case.

I request all the experts to advice what to do as My Father-in-law is the biggest culprit , he being the parent should act as a glue to keep our relation  . And he is full of attitude and ego which will not come down .

If i take the decison to move on rented house with my husband then  ,. i will have no security as my husband drinks a lot and comes late at night 2.30 am because of his shift timmings .He actually has got so much leverage by his parents that he is enjoying fully with his bachalor frends  for late night party .

As per my view i want to continue this marriage as i think Marriage is done only once so kindly suggest what answer should i give to my husband on his above two decision i,e either stay on rented house or

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     24 February 2013

You said " last three months there has been no progress"

Bibi tin mahin nee tin sadee tak bhee udeekee ja.  Par kareen kuj na


(Guest)

 

Dear All Experts,

Kindly advice what should we do 

From last three months there has been no progress and neither my husband nor my in laws contacted me . As my in laws said that they have disowned their son (my husband) and he is not living with them but when we enquired we found that he is living with them and they are  lieing.

Infact my father called many time to my father-in -law to solve the issue but he didnt picked the call , then i called my husband that your father is no taking the call he said that whatever you guys want to talk , talk   to my Mamaji and Uncle (Masad Ji) as they will take the decision as what to do . Then i called his Masad Ji to tell that fix a appointment between my father and my father in law to come to a conclusion. He said that  my father in law will not meet and their decision is that they have disowned his son so go and live outside with your husband on a rented house or you give mutual divorse papers in the hands of your husband. Then i called his mamaji  , he said that his father in law said that you  can only enter their  house if i  give sorry in writing.  

My In laws are Blackmailing me write  sorry when i am not at fault so that they can be safe in court if i file a case.

I request all the experts to advice what to do as My Father-in-law is the biggest culprit , he being the parent should act as a glue to keep our relation  . And he is full of attitude and ego which will not come down .

If i take the decison to move on rented house with my husband then  ,. i will have no security as my husband drinks a lot and comes late at night 2.30 am because of his shift timmings .He actually has got so much leverage by his parents that he is enjoying fully with his bachalor frends  for late night party .

As per my view i want to continue this marriage as i think Marriage is done only once so kindly suggest what answer should i give to my husband on his above two decision i,e either stay on rented house or write sorry

 


Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     24 February 2013

Dear Madam,

not three months, even after three years, nothing will progress. Believe us, your life, you meet your husband alone and speak to him, This loneliness would have given time to think.

Asking your father or anybody else spekaing to him will not solve problem.


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