DEAR SIRS
I HAVE BEEN READING THE PROBLEMS FACED BY HUSBANDS BECAUSE OF THEIR WIFE FOR ABOUNT A MONTH . I HAVE ALSO POSTED MY QUESTIONS IN THESE COLUMNS ON 07/12/2012 ,14/12/2012 AND ONE MORE DATE. ALMOST ALL THE HUSBANDS ARE FACING THESE PROBLEMS FOR 3 YEARS OR 6 YEARS OR AT THE MOST 10 YEARS . BUT IN MY CASE I HAVE BEEN FACING NOT ONLY THESE PROBLEMS FOR THE LAST 23 YEARS AND IN ADDITION FACING DESERATION IN 1993 [ for about 4 or 5 years ] , 2009 [ FOR 6 MONTHS ] , 2011 [ FOR 3 MONTHS ] , AND NOW AFTER HER RETIREMENT ON 31/10/2012 FROM CENTRAL GOVERNMENT SERVICE WITH A MONTHLY PENSION OF RS.16000/- AND A LUMPSUM RETIREMENT BENEFIT OF RS.14,00,000/- [ fourteen lacs ] MY WIFE HAD DESERTED ME PERMANENTLY WITH 99% OF THE HOUSEHOLD ARTICLES AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TV NOW. ONLY THE ARTICLES GIVEN BY MY MOTHER BEFORE HER DEATH IN 2008 ARE THERE AND EVEN THAT THEY WANTED IT BUT FORTUNATELY THE SUB INSPECTOR WHO CAME TO VACATE THE HOUSE STOPPED IT FROM GOING OUT .I AM ON A RENTED HOUSE ONLY BUT THAT HOUSE ALONG WITH 9 OTHER PROPERTIES HAD BEEN TAKEN OVER BY ONE OF THE NATIONALISED BANKS IN APRIL 2011 UNDER " SARFASI ACT " FOR A TOTAL DUE OF RS. 8,00,00,000 [ RS EIGHT CRORES ] .THE AUCTION WAS OVER ON 14/03/2012 BUT THERE WAS NO BID FOR ANY OF THE PROPERTIES SINCE THERE IS UNTHORISED CONSTRUCTION TO THE EXTENT OF MORE THAN 60% IN MOST OF THE PROPERTIES AND OTHERS HAVE VARIOUS COMPLICATIONS WHICH HAD COME IN NEWS PAPERS LAST YEAR .BUT RIGHT FROM THE TIME OF MARRIAGE IN 1989 I WAS LIVING IN A SEPARATE HOUSE ONLY AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS WILL NOT COME TO MY HOUSE AND WE WILL GO AND MEET THEM IF MY WIFE DESIRES. AT THE SAME TIME NOT ONLY THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS BUT THEIR DISTANT RELATIVES WILL COME AND STAY IN MY HOUSE AND THEY WILL NOT MEET MY DAD OR MUM WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE . MY DAD AND MUM AND MY BROTHER AND SISTERS WILL NOT MIND ABOUT THAT AND EVEN MYSELF WILL NEITHER THINK ABOUT THAT NOR ASK MY WIFE TO TAKE THEM TO MY HOUSE TO MEET MY DAD AND MUM WHICH WAS ONLY IN THE NEXT STREET AND NOW FROM 2006 THE NEXT HOUSE ITSELF. THE QUESTION OF RESPECTING MY FAMILY MEMBERS DOES NOT RISE AT ALL. MY DAD WAS A GAZETTED OFFICER IN INDIA METEROLOGICAL DEPARTMENT AND 5 OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE WORKING IN NATIONALIZED BANKS IN ADDITION TO ME . ONE IS IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY AND THE ELDEST WAS A POST GRADUATE TEACHER HANDLING HIGHER SECONDARY SUBJECTS. MY WIFE'S FATHER [ LATE ] WAS A STEAM ENGINE DRIVER IN QUILON AND MOTHER [ LATE ] WAS A HOUSE WIFE .HER TWO SISTERS ARE UNEMPLOYED AND HER ELDER BROTHER WAS IN TAMIL NADU MILK PRODUCERS FEDERATION [ AAVIN ] . SO WE DON'T CARE WHETHER THEY RESPECT US OR NOT . IN FACT I WAS NOT AT ALL INTERESTED IN MARRIAGE SINCE I WAS THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE WORKMEN UNION IN OUR BANK FROM 1982 .IN ADDITION I WAS NATIONAL EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MEMBER OF THE FEDERATION OF 28 NATIONALIZED BANKS ON ALL INDIA BASIS AND TREASURER OF THE FEDERATION OF 28 NATIONALIZED BANKS AT TAMIL NADU LEVEL . THIS MARRIAGE IN 1989 WAS THE HANDY WORK OF MY ELDER BROTHER AND MY MUM BECAUSE 4 MARRIAGES WERE OVER BEFORE 1984 AND THERE WAS NO MARRIAGE FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS .THEN I WAS THE SCAPE GOAT .BECAUSE AFTER ME 3 MORE MARRIAGES WERE IN QUICK SUCCESSION . A DAUGHTER WAS BORN TO US IN 1991 [ NOW A MAJOR ] AND I HAD TO SPEND RS.20,000/- IN 1991 TO SAVE HER BECAUSE SHE WAS BORN IN THE 7 SEVENTH MONTH . AT THAT TIME MY SALARY WAS RS. 2000/- IN NATIONALIZED BANK ITSELF .BUT MY WIFE DESERTED ME IN APRIL / MAY 1993 MY QUESTION IS EVEN AFTER TWENTY THREE YEARS OF MY MARRIED LIFE WITH DESERTIONS , HARASSMENTS , HUMILIATIONS AND FINALLY 7 POLICE COMPLAINTS FROM 21/05/2012 TILL 01/12/2012 AND BEFORE THAT IN NOVEMBER , OCTOBER AND APRIL 2011 AND IN MAY 2009 , WHETHER I HAVE TO LIVE A SOLITARY LIFE WITHOUT GOING IN FOR A DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE . I HAVE COMPLETED 56 YEARS AND I WANT TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE ALONE WITHOUT ANOTHER MARRIAGE BUT I WANT TO DIVORCE HER SO THAT SHE CANNOT INTERFERE AND CREATE FUTHHER PROBLEMS FOR ME . I WANT TO LIVE A DECENT LIFE ALONE . CAN SHE CREATE ANY CRIMINAL PROBLEMS FOR ME LIKE 498a OR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT ETC. IF SHE CREATES ANY PROBLEMS FOR ME I HAVE ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO DISPROVE IT IN THE COURT OF LAW AND SHE HAD TO LOOSE HER PENSION BESIDES PROSECUTION. I WANT YOUR ADVICE IN THIS MATTER SO THAT I CAN HAVE A PEACEFUL SLEEP AT NIGHTS .- JOSEPH WILFRED - 31/12/2012 AT 20.42 HRS.
